by Spencerfiction
Looking forward to reading more.
Lots of names and people, and flashing around - all good, just a lot. It took a bit of investment on my part to put all the pieces in place to move forward.
The story has promise, but some of the sentences are unwieldy. Too many clauses to absorb without rereading.
Will continue to read, but hope the structure improves a bit.
After looking at the list of characters and trying to connect them, I gave up reading. Just too convoluted for me. I just don't have the patience to wade through the characters, much less the story itself.
I submitted this as 23 Literotica size pages, a full novel of 82,000 words, but due to a glitz, only the first page, consisting of half the Prologue and half Chapter 1 came out. This isn't the first novel I have submitted and all 23 pages were there when previewed, so I cannot explain what happened. I have submitted and edited chapter 1 again and 3 other parts, taking us up to chapter 8 which is about halfway through. I have to go out now and will have to do a football programme when I get back so will split the rest of the book into chapters and upload tomorrow.
I've read novels, and this ain't one. Just a string of disconnected sentences strung together. I gave you 2 stars because at least you had the courage to write and submit. Don't stop writing, you'll get better with time.
Maybe the writer should jog his memory on how to end a chapter, was interesting up to that point!!!
Is this going to be drawn out a page at a time? Why if it is a long story? I give it a three for that reason. The break was not even a cliffhange
Waverunner