All Comments on 'Judith My Slut'

by joefixette

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  • 4 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
good

Good, some parts excellent, but in future proofread for grammar and spelling errors and typos. One passage should not have been in italics. It wasn't her, it was you 'speaking' or 'thinking'. Such errors jar and distract from the excitement. Keep writing.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago

Good detail and believable behaviour from slut 'Judith'. If this is based on real life encounters, please continue with more details about your use of this slut and her gradual conversion to the slut she so wants to be. More details about her character to begin with would help illustrate the transformation of Judith.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Not bad...

I agree with one of the people that left a comment. The italic commentary was very distracting. At first I thought that they were "her" thoughts but then it applied to "your" thoughts. The easiest way to avoid this is write in the third person. You can convey both their thoughts in this style.

Celia62Celia62over 9 years ago
Very sexy

Very interesting conquest, well paced and written

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