All Comments on 'Jumping Ship'

Ralph is a wimp and deserves what he gets.

Thank you for the fun little story. I think some people in marriages are like emotional hitchhikers. You buy the car, pay for the upkeep, fuel and insurance and they'll ride along. If a better ride comes along, they're out. We see how well that worked out for her. The next girl is going to have a pretty flash whip for a ride. Nice story. Thanks, Randi.

Good writing.

dam. revenge without trying.

loved it

Based on all this a good epilogue about how he got into his situation with money, how her and ralphs life had been and how the future will be for them all would be interesting.

Thank you.

reminds me of my bitch whore ex. I wish I could say that I thrived afterwards but at least I have the knowledge that she seems to be well on her way to ruining her life just like she ruined mine.

I have a name which I believe describes Anna perfectly. The perfect cunt. A slimy, disgusting individual who in the end gets what she deserves. Dick. And all the money she can make from it. Nice revenge.

Five Stars

The Top 5 Foremost RIGHT and wrong Literary Features as executed by stev2244 in my oh so estimable and yet HUMBLE opinion.

Legal Disclaimer: All assertions of balletristic quality are subjective and valid only in the singular and unique  LSD  literary reality macrocosm and all associated and apropriate adjunct domains.

1) RIGHT : Kudos for multiple veins of irony employed as development continued apace of all three main characters who were not allowed to remain static or hold onto original cherished illusions .

2) WRONG : Just a bit too much tell , not show for crucial scenes where Anna gets new wardrobe, dream trip to Maldives. The shadow of inevitable payback was always casting a shadow as homestretch came into view. At some point the reader needed to doubt that Frank would employ his catch and release retribution. I never did.

3) RIGHT : I really enjoyed the gimlet eye cast upon Frank as both the ostensible victim at start and madeover Nietzchean carnal superman and master entrepreneur at conclusion. He was soft flabby and a complacent, ineffectual dreamer at beginning . Ralph was no more to blame for his actions then a cheetah who picks off a careless,, crippled gazelle.

In end - Frank seemed in danger of being entrapped in awareness of his possessions and desire for armcandy who would best reflect in full his bolstered sense of self-worth.

4) WRONG :  This is more of nitpick actually, I thought Ralph was a bit underutilized as character. He started out as pistol but was a spent bullet at conclusion. Just a quick scene or two of him in solitude as Frank and Anna seem to reconnect might have served as excellent contrast.

5) RIGHT : How odd I would like Anna the best as curtain rang down . stev2244 gave her an epiphany of the emotional hitchiker ( ty BR) drift pattern she'd charted. Out of all three characters , Anna might well be one to choose next mate with optimal combination of self-knowledge and vulnerability . Very well played.

Bottom line(s)- No heroes, no demons to be found in stev2244's cast of characters who started out uniquely askew in their individual dysfunctions and directions. They changed . For better ? For worse ? I'm not sure . All that's certain is I was entertained from start to finish. Ergo the obvious rating.

Full marks. * * * * *

Kind of expected and perfunctory. The BTB crowd of course loves this sort of stuff, but Frank gave up too much to get his revenge, and his cold fish attitude won’t keep women for the long term. Nice touch to have the woman come to realize her faults at the end-they usually don’t.

THis story is this authors best story to date, he's a good writer, but the plot of this one is better than the others IMHO.

And , of course as I luv me some consequences and karma sandwiches , I whole heartily approve .

But seriously I thought you gave your male lead almost Zen like qualities , and being that I'm greedy in such ways , I would have personally liked to have been given just a bit more background on him ( what was his buisness, how he knew of his ex and her Beau's financial downturn , ect.) .

But , it still works as a stripped down , bare boned version too .

So well In fact , I am just going to give it 5 *'s .

The plot was decent, but the execution was a little stilted.

How did Ralph go from being aa confident, successful salesman to a financial failure? Men like the first way you described Ralph are usually always successful, and even if Frank eventually manned up and beat him financially, the Ralph’s of the world are rarely failures. That was the only plot hole I saw.

Unusual and interesting to see a writer on the wife’s side and letting the wife getting off with no significant or lasting blow back or retribution. The token revenge offered by making the husband rich and good looking is a basic staple in LW and has been written to death here. I found myself ahead of the story while reading it, not that it was fully predictable, but it was expected to find them re-engaging the husband half way through the story. 3*

A bullying ex-jock car salesman is hardly the quintessential successful person. Downturn in economy, car sales plummet, the further ex-jocks get from glory days, the more they relive them n bars and bottles. Very tough being has been no one remembers. Then there is abusive nature of all bullies that with adversity comes to the fore.

Not to mention author spent all of half a dozen words developing that character

I have added to my limited vocabulary and that's always good. Thanks for the consequence story and gaining some form of revenge without resorting to pick handles, guns, knives, or torture. Good job!

There was nothing wrong with the story at all, in any way that I saw. Very well-written, and edited, of course. I liked that the wife was shown as a very shallow person, but knew this was what she had coming, in the end. She just took her lumps and had that moment of introspection. It's not a five, in my book, but better than a four. Since the idiot before me gave it a three, I'll give it a five. That won't put it where it belongs, but better. Thanks for your work.

Great story.

Thank you!

5

Glad to see to had time to write an excellent story. 5*

She got it good and in more ways than one!

Thank you, very much.

The slow-burn involved in this story is fantastic, and while slightly telegraphed it was still truly enjoyable watching it play out.

Well done.

5/5

Best revenge is living life well. This was a truly a diabolical intelligent way to crush them both. Scars both would carry the rest of their lives. Very clever indeed. *****

Ralph lost his smirk, his wife, his business, and his braggadocio.

Frank got self confidence but seems empty inside

She traded one time too many.

"Were there others?" - That's very damning. While the cheating is obviously wrong, if she wants out of the marriage, for WHATEVER reason, do it! You don't "audition" candidates!

She doesn't "always want kind and caring"? Tell him! I'm sure there are times that he would just like to fuck her brains out without having to romance her!

They expected SOME animosity, but not this? Like he MIGHT have expected his wife's infidelity, but not the humiliation!

"Why did men have to be such pussies when it came to the important moments in life?" - Maybe because women like her are such bitches!

I was hoping that Frank really DID have a woman, who allowed him this time so that he could get closure with Anna.

This story makes me feel sad. I feel sad for the author and for anyone who thinks this is a plausible plot with realistic characters.

As always, the wife is portrayed as completely shallow and selfish -- to an unbelievable extreme. She has no control over her hormones and jumps from bed to bed without care. She's really into shopping, too, and is super-impressed by money. If she is maybe fourteen years old, then maybe I could believe that such a character exists in reality, but I assume she's supposed to be older in this story.

The husband is a cartoonish wimp at the beginning of the story. He can barely speak without whimpering, he has no spine whatsoever, and he is left weak, pathetic, sobbing, and completely emasculated by the bully Ralph, who openly taunts and laughs at him while he fondles his wife.

Then, suddenly, the Tooth Fairy shows up, waves her magic wand, and our hero Frank becomes a wealthy, stoic, emotionless, muscle-bound, sex machine. Another wave of her wand turns the bully Ralph and his new bride into beggars. Naturally, there is only one man in town who can possibly loan them any money, and that's our stoic hero Frank.

Was anyone surprised by what happens next? Anyone?

As for the writing, the old adage "show, don't tell" seems to have been ignored. Why on earth did they show up at her ex-husband's door with their hands out? That had to be hard for both of them. Sure enough: "Both were tense; too much depended on this meeting. This was very hard for both of them." Well, there you go!

When our selfish adolescent ex-wife sees that her formerly-wimpy ex-husband is now living the Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous, she must have realized what a mistake she made. I imagine that weighed heavily upon her.

"The loss of this unique sensitive man suddenly weighed heavily upon her.."

Thud.

It's completely unsurprising to see the 4-star rating for this story. Compare that to the score for GITM's latest offering. The difference was that her story was extremely well-written and completely plausible -- but the wife wasn't a brainless idiot who ended up pining for her ex-husband.

totally unrealistic story written in a realistic way, brilliant.

This story is kind of like some of HDK's story - you know where it is going to go but that doesn't make the ride any less fun. I disagree with SJ's comment above. Maybe the difference is that SJ was never dumped and many of the rest of us have been. Good story!

Some woman destroys a man and he waits four years to get revenge? to build up his confidence?! If he needs his ex-wife to build up his confidence, he is a much bigger loser than she can fix.

And, yes, it would seem very unlikely that those two would even hope that Frank would help them.

Personally, I believe too many of these stories paint men as "pussies". Your wife doesn't want you, fine! Let her go. There are plenty of other fish in the sea and a man's worth should not be tied to what others think of him, even his wife. Go through your grieving process for the end of the union. And then dust yourself off and find someone better.

That's ironic, because he's never written anything but the same sad cartoon, over and over again. They could all be titled "Women Who Are Whores and the Men Who Love Them."

If only you would have written Anna as a "Hotwife," Frank as a swinger/cuck who loves creampies and Frank as a dominant "Bull," That's what "grownups" do in Joe's world.

Good story, Stev2244. Real writers gave you good comments. Let the morons rant.

5* from me.

And swinger joe has to come and take a dump on the one good one. Go read the cuck stories, asshat, since that's what you do.

The major problem, the lynchpin of the entire story, is that, having stolen his woman, having emasculated this man beyond all reason or forgiveness, they would crawl TO HIM to get the money.

I would rather go on welfare, (particularly German welfare, which I hear is pretty luxurious)

Honestly, being a male fluffer would have more dignity attached to it and would be less demeaning .

And since I had a hard time believing that little chestnut, the entire edifice fell apart.

Here is where the story fell apart. I CAN believe outlandish propositions, but I have to be seduced into believing them. Here, as SJ said, POOF, he is rich, famous and buff. POOF, the cheating couple lost their frontal lobes and went to him for money.

We didn't see WHY or HOW. One either suspended disbelief or they didn't.

AS written, it was a more subtle bit of revenge (though foreseeable) so kudos on that. If I had it, would I spend 100k Euros to diss off an ex? Probably. The premises followed one another, so kudos for that.

That return for money was just too big a pill to swallow.

He waited 4 years to get some strange ass revenge? He didn't move on with his life, he sat there thinking about the gutter slut for 4 damn years?🤔🤔🤔 ....fucking pathetic😂😂😂. I didn't like the story, I didn't like how he begged her to stay while she stood there holding hands with another man. I absolutely HATED that he wasted 4 years thinking about the slut and the loser she left him for. I don't understand how fucking, wining and dining the whore makes him feel better? He should've used those 4 years to find a woman that wasn't trying to sell her pussy and fuck'd up warped definition of love to the highest bidder. The gutter whore wasn't worth it. He could've had the same revenge by moving on. That's sad. I just don't get how his dick even got hard for this dirty tramp? I wouldn't want to touch her after learning the bitch has more than likely been cheating on him for years, even fuck'd some of his friends. Why/how could he feel anything but total fucking disgust? Ewwwww. I'm definitely wired differently.

I don't like BTB stories so I won't be reading any more of yours.

Then I LOVED it...To the Victor go the Laurels and Justice prevails.

I guess a lot of folks think justice is over rated, but I still love it when a plan comes together for the good guy. +5+

Enjoyed the story. Keep up the good work!

oshaw

I don't know if you came here to hone your writing or to improve your English or if you already thought you were a great writer and used this to get your feet wet. But your writing has improved, whether you intended it or not.

Those that commented about wasting four years. He built a fortune, built his body but still needed to prove to himself that he was no longer the wimp of old. He was messed up pretty badly by Anna and it took a grand gesture to break free.

As to why they would come to him for money, Ralph was such a bad business man that no one else would loan him money. Anna thought she still had power over wimpy Frank and could charm him into a loan. That money was nothing to Frank and Ralph will be broke in a very short time. 50,000Euros is not much money if you want to start a new business.

What's left to say? It's a short story, not a novel! All are opportunistic and yet vulnerable at the same time, desiring yet morally fallible. In the end, money talks and good luck to the rest of mankind. What else is new?

a closet cuck gem, 5 flaming stars!

Excellent commentary ... on BOTH sides. First off ... I really enjoyed it to the tune of five sparklies.

But, the quibbles are also really there. Might as well have just had H1 win the megabuck sweepstakes. Others have put Hubby1 (Frank) into the role of actively manipulating Bull’s (Ralph, Hubby2) financial distress (Spanish Flash vs Senior Brit Financier.). H1 apparently did NOT do that, nor does it look like he will go out of his way to torpedo H2’s (financial) future. And, it was not a loan, it was a 50K Euro gift. But, it matters little if H2 is incompetently looses it all or somehow manages to just scrape by. Sweetie is past-tense in either camp ... but she’ll be well-dressed for a coupla seasons. Her (excluding Ralph) cheating during her H1 marriage was nicely managed. Pretty clear, but not proven. Just enough.

I would change a thing.

And no one was killed,beaten or went to jail! 5

I'm amazed.

I can't understand a fucking thing he prattles on about.

But the story WAS different.

I rarely comment on stories. Preferring to just score them. But this is amazing. Thank you.

I couldn’t wait to see what you had in store for the ending. Very satisfying. 5 stars, most definitely. Thanks for the great story.

Seldom do those two words (different and good) get together in LW. It was a fun read. Many thanks.

this tale was good and different

Thanks for posting

His success was his reward .turnng the cheating wife into shit

Yes, first time for me.

Gave stev2244 4*s.

A very creative, well plotted story. With only three characters, it moved to a very original ending( without a gimmick, like changing the wife's name from Amanda to Lisa).

Thanks for the story. It looks like you finally have developed the skill to go with your talent. 😁👍.

AMerryman

Great story . . . good growth of characters . . . BTB in a sense, but all characters may end up better than they started. Frank grows, and gets what he needs. Anna learns, and at least considers changing . . . Ralph, if he tries a little harder, may even come to realize his limitations.

The reconciliations are the characters with themselves, and perhaps with who they do (or don't) want to be, with some satisfying revenge thrown in for good measure.

Nicely done!!!

You could see where this was going from the first paragraph and you were dead right. Not a single deviation from the boilerplate. Not a whiff of originality.

Great plot twist, very inventive! I enjoyed it immensely.

The ending was predictable, but still a good story done well.

Huh? "Boilerplate" would have Ralph ruined (which he MAY be, but not by Frank's actions, but simply by his own incompetence), and Anna alone and destitute (she MAY end up being alone as Ralph sees her for what she really is, but she isn't yet, anyway!), and Frank would have a hotter new wife! Frankly, I would have preferred that he DID have a hotter new wife that he would reveal at the end, to show Anna that she never really had a chance! A wife that loved him enough to allow him the four weeks of revenge.

I'm the first one to say a story is boring or poorly written. Believe me stev2244 has plenty of those.

This time is exceptional! He wrote an entertaining, interesting, original and creatively plotted story. Without a cheap twist. Without convoluted, germanic sounding sentences.

I don't toss out 4*s, just because I like a story. Stev2244 is getting better. He deserves to be recognized.

AMerryman

The boiler plate is nice and shiny. What would have happened if she went back to Frank and found herself missing the more aggressive approach of Ralph?

While I figured out the end early on...I enjoyed it very much. This was very well written and a solid story in the LW category. Please keep writing. Thanks for the story!

"Buckeye Fan"

Enjoyed it. Very simple story, not much meat on the bones at all. I do like to see the good guy win.

Very good story. Hmm, but I really don't think Anna would have gone quitely. Four stars!

wimpy cuck shit.

Short, sweet, to the point, What rant and rail, when he could show her she threw him over for a lesser man. Show her what she missed, and THEN move on. Classy.

But like the rabbits in "Watership Down" I'm always a fiver.

Now here's what I liked and what I had hoped to see.

This was, as HDK indicated, a kind of civilized BTB. Though never having been jilted myself, the biggest thing about losing a wife, or lover, always seems to be to hit to the ego. Frank's victory over Ralph and "what's her name" restored that.

Now how about this as an ending. Frank reflects on the attractive woman competitor he and his company beat to get that latest big contract. She was a handsome gal, and he and she had made something of a connection. So maybe at the last Frank is picking up the phone... "maybe I'll give "so and so" a call?"

Great story, liked it a lot.

Jedd Clampett

great story and the greatest ending to a cheating wife story

well done

we want more

It is amazing what can be accomplished with enough money in the right circumstances. Lol

... is a life well lived”? Though it’s even better if you can rub their faces in it. LOL

Best BTB story I've read. He did what he needed to do for himself and then walked away.

Give up some Euros as bait, then watch them both burn. Intelligent revenge. Machiavelli would be proud.

He bought a profit. He didnt actually accomplish a seduction.

They cheat and the wimp forgives their disrespect just gives them a permanent license to fuck anyone they want, whenever they want to.

Great story... He got more than just revenge and did it all without anything stupid. Well done!!

Oh yes, what comes around does come around!

He absolutely destroyed both Ralph and Anna. Got his own confidence back. Amazing!

I truly hope that now that you are awake you keep writing. You're a talented writer. Please don't give up on reconciliation stories. Just away from RAACs.

Hubby got back at both the Asshole & his Ex. Now to move onward and upward.

You know your revenge plan are epic when your backstabbing is complemented by the backstabber you want to get even with, like when Anna nodded and smiled at Frank, acknowledging how well thought out his scheme was.

Good on Frank - there's no better payback, for a cheating wife who left you, then making her fully realize how big of a mistake she made.

As good a BTB story as you're going to get here.

not needed or cared about, TK U MLJ LV NV

BTB, but do it with style and class.

Well written; short and to the point. Let's have another.

Revenge through kindness. Just great.

I think this was your best story, in terms of plot, characters and the overall writing.

IT JUST TOOK A WHILE FOR HER TO REALIZE THAT SHE FUCKED HERSELF.

A gentle and very well deserved BTB. Great storey.

Superb. Stupendous. Exquisite.

Chur bro awesum story

This story was great! I kept waiting for the hammer to drop and when it did, there was some delicious bit of karmic justice dealt out to Ralph and Anna. Really well written!

I enjoyed this one. I gave it five stars.

Always good to see an undeserving wife get what coming to her.

I guess the old maxim "Look before you leap" applies here.

Billy Lines.

BTB with a, 'soft glove' story. Intelligent payback.*****

I knew the ending as soon as he offered the money for the 4 weeks.

It would have been more interesting if she realized she was just being bought and paid for part of the way through the time. "Look what i've become..."

This is one of the best illustrations of a shallow, selfish woman in LW annals.

Good story

Wimps can sometimes learn

Cheating sluts don't

Little grasp of things when impacts their belief in their own self worth negativity

Wow. She's too shallow to float a sheet of paper. That was strangely fun.

to bad she didn't charge by the hour. He would have saved money

How many times

How long etc

Definitely slut

Outstanding writing.

Again, another one of the best you ain't worth it BTBs ever.

Fun tale of karma kicking some ass.

5*.

Hooked

It took me a few lines to say ... fucking cuck shit again. Good loving wife stories are as seldom as unicorns! Most loving wife stories are just cheap cuck fantasies and so far away from reality as they are bad! The characters are pure nonsense and unreal but I guess they have too in order to fit into such a stupid plot. Are 90% of the authors who are writing loving wife stories cucks or is this a cheap way to get likes because most of the readers of loving wife stories are cucks? For me it is one of the biggest mysteries how to post such brain dead shit

Please stop the headhopping. And maybe learn how to show that a character is stunned instead of telling us they're stunned every single time.

Fill them with love then leave them