Just a Number?

"No, this time he went too far. He said that he knew we were going out, and that I should dump you for him."

I knew my primal urge to loathe him was for good reason.

"I couldn't believe the guy. He said that I was too good for you, and if he really wanted a more experienced guy to show him the way, he'd be better. I told him to go fuck himself and piss off before I filed for harassment."

"Don't waste your time hating him, he's not worth it."

I wish I could say that things ended there, but for some reason it all got under my skin. Trent was an ass, but in a way I kind of agreed with him. Somebody as young and pretty as Lance would normally be way out of my league. He never had any complaints, but I felt like I was reaching and he was settling.

It also occurred to me that he might have wanted a relationship with me because of my age, not in spite of it. He saw the relationship his parents had and wanted something like that. Maybe he saw me as safe and reliable. It was nice that he thought of me like that, but I couldn't give him all the things he wanted. His sex drive left mine in the dust, and that wouldn't get any better over time. There was no doubt in my mind that he loved me, but a part of me thought that it was for the wrong reasons, that he would be even happier with someone else.

I told Paul a much milder version of my concerns and he said that if I was so damn worried I should just ask Lance about it. Like it was something I could just ask him about.

Even so, communication is key to relationships. I needed to talk about these things with him.

I was driving him home from my house one day when I tried to breach the topic gently.

"I have something serious I want to talk about."

"What's on your mind?"

I chose my words carefully.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm not providing you all that you need. I'm old, and you're in the prime of your life. 19 is an age where you should be exploring your sexuality with guys your age."

His jaw set.

"What brought this on? Did I do something to make you think I wasn't happy?"

"No, but who's to say you wouldn't be happier with someone else?"

Suddenly he looked pissed off.

"Did Trent say something again?"

"No, but I just think you could do better than me."

"Stop the car."

"What?"

"Stop the car. Pull over. Are you deaf?"

I did as he asked.

He was fuming now. He took off his seatbelt and turned to face me.

"You need to cut that self-deprecating shit out right now. You think it makes me happy hearing the man I love put himself down? It's not just that, either. You act like I'm a catch, some prize your unworthy of. I'm sick of it. You ever take a moment to consider how I feel about this?"

I was speechless. I guess that was a good thing, because he continued before I could have even answered his question.

"I played it cool when you asked me out, but on the inside I was doing backflips. I had been crushing on you since the moment I saw you. I was just too shy to make a move."

I raised my eyebrows.

"You're sexy as all fucking hell. You're wise and kind, and your body drives me absolutely crazy. If anything, I'm the lucky one here."

He grabbed my hand and put it on the bulge in his pants.

"Feel my arousal, Karl. Know how much I want you, how hard you make me. You're the one who made me want to try sex. You're the one I want to pop my cherry. Please stop selling yourself short. There's nobody I want and love more than you."

He leaned in and kissed me deeply on the lips.

"I'm not settling, Karl. You're perfect."

I didn't know what to say. Never had anybody said that sort of things to me, not even when I was his age. This beautiful young man just laid himself bare, confessing his want and need for me.

"I...really?"

He smacked me on the back of my head.

"Yes, really! Stop being a dumbass."

His tone was angry, but he was smiling now.

"Turn the car around."

"Why?"

"We have some unfinished business, Karl. I want you, and I want you now."

I briefly considered asking him if he was sure, but he probably would have hit me again.

Once we got back to my place he dove in for a kiss. It made everything else seem to fade away until it was just me and him, showing our love.

He looked me dead in the eyes.

"I'm ready, Karl. Make love to me. Take my virginity."

I kissed him. "Nothing would make me happier."

We stripped and got onto my bed, kissing and grinding our naked cocks against each other.

"Please, Karl, make me yours," he moaned into my mouth.

I laughed. "Patience, otter. I need to get you ready first."

I reached into my bedside table, pulling out lube and condoms.

He turned over, exposing his cute little ass to me.

I spread lube over his opening and all over my fingers. I gently pushed in my index finger and it sank to the first knuckle.

"Feeling good?"

"Yes. Please, more!"

I pushed further. Up until then I never put in more than one finger, but when I bottomed out, I put another into his tight hole. He gasped. Once two were in I scissored my fingers and searched for his prostate. I knew I found it when he grunted and bucked his hips.

"I'm ready, Karl."

"You're not ready. Just be patient."

I put another finger in, loosening his passage and massaging his prostate.

"Please, I'm ready. I need you."

"You're still not ready."

I kept going, working his ass with my hand. After a minute more he got desperate.

"Please, I don't know what else to say! I'm ready! I want your cock! Fuck me!" he begged.

I grinned. "Now you're ready. Turn on your side."

He complied, and I got right behind him, sheathing myself in the condom and lubricating the latex.

"Lift your leg up, otter."

He presented his virgin hole to me.

"We're going to take this slow. The first time always hurts. Take deep breaths for me. In."

He inhaled.

"Out."

Halfway through is exhale I pushed forward. His body accepted my head as his breath hitched.

"Calm down...just keep breathing. In...and out."

I pushed in a bit more.

This kept going until I was all the way inside of him.

"It's all in, otter. How does it feel?"

"It hurts, but the pain is fading. I'm starting to like it."

I kissed his ear.

"Karl, hold me tighter when you fuck me."

I wrapped my arms around him snugly, possessively, before I started moving.

He bit his lip, stifling a moan.

"Don't hold back. I want to hear how you feel."

He started making his cute little noises freely. He'd moan and gasp, even yelp a little when I touched his prostate just right.

I nuzzled him. "That's my little otter. Tell me how much you like it."

I kept going, and he started moving with me, meeting my thrusting with his own. I felt the telltale signs of his approaching orgasm after a few minutes. I sped up. He started to moan almost continuously.

I thrusted more and more, and then he fell over the edge. He exhaled like he was pushing every molecule of air out of his lungs as he spurted. Once he was done he was still rock hard.

"Do you want me to keep going?"

He nodded.

I got in really close to him.

"I'm going to make you mine."

He whimpered. "Please,"

I moved more, holding him even tighter. Our joining started shaking the bed. Not much later, he came again. I didn't even slow down. I went faster, fucking his ass deeply and jabbing against his sweet spot with every thrust. I felt myself near my release.

"I'm about to come. Get ready."

All he could do was nod.

With the last of my energy, I pounded into him with everything I had. We both came at the same moment, me unloading into the condom and him spurting on the sheets for a third time. After a few minutes of us reeling, I kissed his neck. I never let go and stayed inside of him. As we came down, he seemed to sink into me in a way he hadn't before. Eventually, our hearts stopped pounding and we could relax.

"You did it, Lance."

I pulled out of him, taking off and throwing away the condom. I got up and returned with a towel and some fresh bedsheets.

"Get up, otter."

I cleaned him up and replaced the bedspread, kissing him often and telling him that I loved him. Once I was done with that I turned off the lights and closed the blinds to dampen the afternoon sun. I got in bed with him.

"How do you feel?"

He sat quietly for a few seconds.

"I have something I need to tell you."

I could tell where this was headed.

"Go on."

He breathed deeply.

"When I was 15, one of my closest friends was raped. It came out of nowhere and she was never the same after it happened. That's why I'm scared of sex. It turned into something dirty, or shameful. Sex just became the thing that was used to hurt my friend..."

He buried his face into my shoulder.

"But what we just did was so beautiful. It was so perfect. I..." he started whimpering.

I petted his hair.

"Go ahead and cry, love."

He sobbed against me, letting out tears I suspected he had been holding in for a long time. I kept holding him, not saying a word. It took him a bit to calm down, and when he stilled I realized he had fallen asleep.

I gave him a kiss before closing my eyes.

*****

I woke up to Lance nudging me. I blinked a few times until his gorgeous face came into focus. He kissed me.

"Good morning, darling."

I smiled.

"Good morning, otter."

We lay in bed for a few minutes, cuddling.

"Karl, I need to say something."

"Yes, dear?"

He looked me in the eyes.

"I love waking up in your arms. It's something I want to keep doing."

He kissed my cheek.

"I don't want there to be any confusion anymore. I want a relationship, Karl. I want commitment. You're not a safe choice to lose my virginity to. You're my boyfriend, and I want to keep it that way as long as I can. Do you want that, too?"

I didn't hesitate.

"Yes, Lance. I love you."

He kissed me deeply.

"I love you, too."

I grinned. "We're not a couple that you see every day. People are going to think I'm your dad."

"People can think what they want."

"It's still quite the age gap."

He brushed his lips against mine.

"Age is just a number."

I laughed a little. "It's really not. I just love you too much to care."

He snuggled closer. "I can live with that."

The two of us have been together for almost six months at this point. I've met his twin sister, Sophie. She's a nice, honest kid, just like her brother. I still don't think that Paul is that comfortable with me, but he can't deny how happy I make his son.

We still both work at the restaurant. We've become one of the established couples among the coworkers. We've talked about moving in together, but he said all of his money would still be going to pay for his sister's college. I told him that that's fine.

We'd go on dates, make love, and fall asleep together. As time continued, I stopped seeing Lance as this young boy I was so much older than. I just saw him as the man I loved.

Despite what people say, age is more than just a number. It has meaning, a weight behind it. Even so, if it's meant to be, age doesn't matter.

Lance proved that to me.