All Comments on 'Just Another Story'

There is one "Jennifer" embedded in all those "Jessica"s. And there is one duplicated paragraph...

The duplicate paragraph, at least, I'm sure was intentional, given the very obvious context clue of "But every time she managed to focus on the story again, she was just reading another one of those 'hypnotic' passages. They were starting to blur together, until Jessica wasn't even sure if she was reading a new paragraph or the same one over again."

god i love it when you get meta

I looove your stories, especially ones like this that get really deep into conditioning. I especially enjoy that the main character never figures it out - the brainwashing is so perfect and complete. Gods the idea of becoming a brainwashed slave to pussy sounds so delightful.

Loved the story, but what happens next please?

This comment is about one of the comments that was made about that story that Kira wrote. Kira's story clearly needed to be commented on, and the commenter commented on how Kira's story seemed to lack anything more than a basic trope. Yet that comment itself was just an old fashioned trope-plain (compare "complain"), coming down in 3 parts of what should have been.

Ok, enough with the meta-commenting on a meta-story. A story that is basically about itself like this -- it's simultaneously nicely done *and* instantly obvious about what it's doing. My reaction to this was massive laughter, actually. This is not a bad thing.

Meta-fiction is actually something that I enjoy, even to the point of a >2 million word story about story (I will not link it; title is "song of the spheres", author GMBlackJack and you can google it).

Paragraphs 3-6 were, for me, the "real payoff". Paragraph 2 was odd -- Jessica was reading Kira's story, and commenting that the characters in the story were Jessica and Kira, yet Jessica didn't see this as odd. Paragraph 2 violates all the rules of what not to do while not actually doing it, by having the main character's thought process make that comment. And Paragraph 3 is making fun of the entire concept of the story being a meta-story, which is the whole point of this story.

4 and 5 are actually teasing that there might be a [s]plot[/s] serious story in here. Just enough meta-jabs at itself, while hinting at the potential for something serious to be mentioned, and this is where the humor factor of a meta-story starts to really be the big kick for me.

Paragraphs 5, 6, and 7 all end with "just a little bit more", to keep the reader going. In comparison, a number of those early paragraphs have a "just keep reading" in the first line/first sentence, taking advantage of a reader's "sight reading area" -- as you are finishing up one paragraph, your eye/mind has already seen the "keep reading" that starts the next paragraph. (Side note: When you take "speed reading" classes, the key thing that they teach is actively expanding and training that sight-intake area, so that you only need a few eye fixations per page. Having had that training, I'm very aware of when I'm "reading" something in the near-future of the book like that.)

After that, the story almost reads as a parody of the mind-control sex-submission genre here on Literotica. With the oblivious main character not even aware of what she's doing as the story becomes even more self-referential --

> Jessica rubbed her clit just like the woman in the story rubbed her clit reading about the woman in the story rubbing her clit,

-- this paragraph was (for me) the high point of self referentiality.

I'm not sure if I should give this story a 1 or a 5. As a story about story, it's a 5; as a story about someone being mentally manipulated, when the most important aspect of that is to be subtle to the point that you don't realize that you are being manipulated (remember, a book reader can always step away, while someone talking to a Girl generally can't), it's too obvious.

Of course, the entire story keeps going back to the "just read a little more", "if she stopped now she would just keep wondering", "the person reading the story could not tell where the character's thoughts differed from her thoughts", etc. Clearly explaining why Jessica kept on reading the story about someone who kept on reading even as Jessica comments about this protagonist's only token resistance as she makes less than token resistance, as Jessica actively keeps reading looking for what she wants to see in a story, only to eventually see that yes, the protagonist does sorta-kinda have a believable descent and personality change as Jessica changes her view of the story and wants to believe that the meta-fiction she is reading is a better story than she first started to think; and remember that Jessica went into this expecting a masturbation story, masturbating to the protagonist's own masturbation even as she comments about how the author is making the protagonist's self-play seal in her change in self-view as Jessica's "success" at self-play seals in her change about the story from dull and boring to being a good, successful story that does what it set out to do. Just as you now think that this is a good comment on this story.

love this meta-ass story, jeez. total mindfuck to read. i wasnt sure if i was just playing along or if i was being hypnotized like the protag, that was great