Just What I Needed

It took every ounce of strength to say anything at all. "Danny," I said, "Danny, the drawer." He looked confused at first, but then I saw the lights kick on in his head. He looked to the side of the bed and moved off of me, opening the drawer to the bedside table. He reached in and pulled out a strip of condoms, tearing one off and putting the rest back.

I took the packet from him as he moved back into position and I tore it open, removing the rubber and placing it at the tip of his penis. I rolled it down, feeling the strength of his shaft beneath it. I could not believe what I was doing, but it felt too right to stop. I was delirious, all right. I knew what was going to happen, and I was okay with that. I was okay knowing I was about to fuck my brother.

I took a few fingers and got them wet on my pussy, rubbing the juices over the tip of his dick, moistening the surface and steadying him at my entrance. I felt him press slightly into me before pausing. I put one hand on his hip and my other up above my head on my hair which was strewn out over the bed behind me. I relaxed and looked up at Daniel.

He wasn't moving. He was just propped up on his arms looking at me uncertainly.

"It's okay," I said. "You can--" But I never got to finish my sentence, because he thrust into me and my head rolled back in pleasure. I breathed in sharply, as if his cock had thrust the breath into me. Before I could recover, he had pulled back and thrust again, and it was all I could do to hold on for the ride. My hands went up to his back, and I just held onto him as he moved slowly and deliberately in and out of his big sister. I'm pretty sure I was moaning, but I couldn't say for sure. All I know is at some point he took one hand and tried to put it over my mouth, I guess because I was making too much noise. I bit down on his hand as he fucked me, and it worked as a decent gag.

Eventually he pulled his hand away and forced my wrists back onto the bed, and I cooed in gratitude. His mouth went for my neck, and I lifted my chin to make room. As he kissed my neck I wrapped my legs around his ass and pulled him into me harder with every thrust. I could feel his inches slide into me every time, his pubic bone hitting me when he'd reached his depth. I felt simultaneously helpless and safe, used and appreciated, but most of all loved. I was in heaven.

He pulled out of me suddenly and I groaned my disapproval. "Turn over," he said, and I complied, moving onto all fours. I felt his hands on my ass almost immediately, squeezing and kneading them, pulling my ass cheeks apart before letting go and starting over. He moved his hands up to my hips and adjusted me. I let him move me. I felt his cockhead nuzzling against my pubic hair, and he slowly pulled himself back and drifted his cock toward my entrance. He moved one hand to his member to position himself. I felt him nuzzle my lips apart and I couldn't wait anymore, I thrust my ass back suddenly, taking him into me. He took the hint and started pounding into me, his hands back on my hips pulling my ass toward him with each thrust.

With all the sensation in my lower half, I couldn't hold myself up anymore and I grabbed a pillow and put it under me and dropped my upper half against the bed, my head turned sideways. I felt opened, completely exposed to him and at the mercy of my brother's lustful ministrations. I reached between my legs and started toying with my clit as he worked his cock into me, and I knew I was getting close. I was muttering a mix of profanity and nonsense sounds and every inch of my body was pulsing along with my vagina's contractions. All of a sudden Danny smacked my ass harder than I thought I could bear, the pain and pleasure indistinguishable. He smacked me again and again, grabbing me and pulling me into him.

My orgasm peaked and my brain turned to mush as I quivered and shook. I was leaking all over his cock and onto the bed beneath us. The rest of me collapsed, his hands keeping my ass in the air as he kept moving in and out of me. I wiped the drool off my face as he thrust harder and harder into me, even though I was feeling a little sore. I could feel him start to tense up, and I wanted him to come.

"Come," I told him, knowing he already was. He grabbed my ass and pulled me back onto him as hard as he could. He held me there, jolt after jolt, throb after throb as he came inside his sister.

When he finished, he fell onto the bed beside me and I finally rolled onto my side. I saw him take off the condom and throw it on the floor. We lay there facing each other on the bed exhausted, his eyes closed and mine barely open, watching him. As if I hadn't had enough of him, I felt like I just wanted to soak him in. I raised my hands and gently ran my fingertips over his forearms. His eyes opened and he smiled at me. I looked all around his face and his mess of hair before settling on his eyes. What was it about them that made me feel so safe? It took me a minute, but eventually I realized it was because they looked so much like mine, like mom's.

"What's wrong?" Danny said. "You look like something's on your mind."

I edged over to him and he lay back so that I could snuggle into his side, one arm over his chest and my head on his shoulder. Our legs intertwined and I sighed.

"Nothing," I said. "Just you. Just us." I let that hang in the air for a while before continuing. "What are we gonna do, Danny?"

"I don't know," he said after a thoughtful pause. "I don't have the faintest clue what we're going to do, but I don't think I've ever been happier than I am right now, so at least for now I'm okay with that." I felt him pull me closer, and I squeezed him a little and kissed his shoulder. We lay like that for what felt like forever, neither of us wanting to move.

Eventually, he did. He had to pee, and I realized I did too. He let me go first, and he went in when I came out. I went back to the kitchen to get a glass of water and found the glass in the sink was broken. I carefully threw it out and got myself a new one, drinking it entirely before filling it up again. As I was taking a sip, I looked at the oven clock and saw the time.

Shit. Michael would be home soon.

Michael.

My phone was still by the stove and I checked it: no messages, but it was late. Michael'd be off by now. I heard the door behind me open and swung around to see my brother standing naked in the bathroom doorway. Despite everything that had happened, it was still weird to see him like that. Nice, but weird.

He saw the phone in my hand and said, "How much time do we have?"

"Not a lot," I said. "Danny, I'm not sure what I'm going to do about Michael."

"Oh god is he here?" He looked genuinely scared for a moment, but I pacified him.

"No no, not yet, but soon. I mean in general." I went over to him and wrapped my arms around him. "I don't think I want to be with him anymore."

"It's not just because of me, is it?"

"No," I said, pulling back and sitting on a stool by the kitchen. Danny joined me. "I think he's been cheating on me." I saw Danny start making his palm-pounding motion and I laughed a little. "I don't think I have a lot of ground to stand on in that department anymore."

"I guess not," he said.

"I think moving in with him was a bad idea. I thought we'd have something that we didn't have before, but nothing got all that better, and a lot of things have been getting worse."

He reached for the water glass and took a drink. "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet," I said. "I think I'm going to break up with him. And as for us..." I looked at him and smiled. I balanced myself on the counter and walked up his legs and onto his lap. He grabbed my feet and smiled back at me. I said, "I can't believe this is happening."

"You and me both, sister." We both laughed at that. I pointed out the time and said that we should probably get moving, and he agreed. Neither of us thought it'd be good for him to be here when Michael arrived, particularly if we were still naked.

I wiped up the counter and straightened some things that had gone astray, and sprayed the fuck out of the bed sheets with some air freshener. It wasn't perfect, but it was the best we could manage. We threw our clothes back on and went to the door. It took a long time for him to leave, mostly because I didn't really want him to go, but eventually he kissed me and opened the door. I promised I'd call, and he said he'd wait for it.

As soon as he was gone, I collapsed on the loveseat, a headache starting to form in my brain. How the fuck was I going to deal with Michael? What was I going to do? I took an aspirin and waited for him to get home.

* * * * *

The fight that followed wasn't nearly as horrible as I thought it would be. He could tell that something was up with me, that something had been up with me. He accused me of daydreaming about someone else (not entirely inaccurate), and I accused him of cheating. He of course denied it, but I pushed it out of him. He did confess eventually, and though I never admitted to who had been on my mind or even that I had done anything, the damage was done. He had it in his head that I had, and he was right. A lot of little annoyances we had with each other came out, too, which felt like more of a relief to finally air them than it was painful to hear them. Neither of us really wanted each other anymore. We were over.

He told me I had to get out, but eventually I got him to let me sleep on the little couch at least until I could find somewhere to stay, two or three days at most I said. I had no idea where I'd go. I texted Danny and told him what had happened, and he texted back that I should come home for the night. I had thought about that, but discarded it; I didn't really want to go home, and I got the feeling that even though I'm sure mom and dad would be okay with it, they didn't really want me coming back so soon either. No, I needed to find a new place.

Danny asked if I was working the next morning, and I said that I wasn't. He told me to meet him in the international district at 9:00 A.M., and I agreed. I kept texting, asking what it was about, but he said it was a surprise and that I'd just have to come and see for myself. I was frustrated and burnt out from my extremely eventful evening, but it felt nice knowing I'd see him again so soon. I set my phone's alarm and relaxed on that tiny sofa. I tried to focus on fixing my living situation, but as I was drifting off I couldn't stop reliving in my mind kissing the boy I never thought I'd kiss.

* * * * *

It was raining when I hopped off the bus near the train station, but I had brought my trench and an umbrella. I saw Danny sitting on the steps with two coffees and I ran toward him.

"You're all wet!" I said as he stood up and stepped under my ample umbrella.

"It's fine," he said. "Here, this one's for you." He handed me one and I took a sip. It wasn't coffee after all, it was a chai latte. My favorite. I gave him as big a hug as I could with my hands full, and he hugged me back.

"Thanks for this, but you really have to tell me why you asked me out here!"

"Well," he said as he started walking, taking my arm as he did. "There's something I wanted you to see with me."

"Oh really?" I said, taking another sip. "What kind of something?"

"Now I don't want you to get the wrong impression here, and you have to understand, it's entirely up to you whether or not you agree to it, I mean I wouldn't want to force you into anything you di--"

I nudged him roughly and said, "Out with it, dummy!"

"Hey! Good thing these things have lids!"

"Come on, Danny, what's up?"

"Well it's just, I heard you were in the market for a place, and I was too, so I figured we'd both benefit from looking at an apartment."

My brain started clicking into place, and he continued talking. "And the more I look at the market the more I realize it only makes sense to have a roommate, places costing what they do."

"Makes sense so far," I said, grinning and raising an eyebrow at him. I had a feeling I knew where he was going with this.

We stopped suddenly at an old building with a weathered brick facade and he pressed the button marked 302. A woman with a thick accent came on the speakerbox and Danny said he was here for the viewing. We were buzzed in, and Danny held the door for me while I closed the umbrella and entered.

"As I was saying," he said as we started up the stairs, "I think it makes sense for family to share a place. We're already pretty used to living in close quarters, and it would save money, right?"

"Of course," I said. "To save money. Makes perfect sense."

He smiled at me, grateful I was going along with it. "Now you've done this before, so don't be afraid to pipe up if I don't think of something. I have no idea what I'm doing, you know." He tried to wink at me but it came out awkward and forced, which made me giggle.

We reached the third floor and went up to the door. It was ajar, and we knocked our way in.

"Hello?" he said, and a short Vietnamese woman came out from across the room and greeted us. She was wearing cleaning gear and it looked like she'd been working for a while. She introduced herself as the landlord and showed us around the place, pointing out all its nooks and crannies.

I was a little out of it, too distracted by all the turns my life had taken in the last 24 hours. She lead us through telling stories about the previous tenant and everything she'd had to do to fix the place after he had left, and Danny seemed to be seriously weighing different aspects of the place. He kept looking back at me, and I could tell that he was looking for my approval. I gave it. It wasn't a bad place really, but it wasn't anything to write home about. He'd always seemed to put stock in my decision-making skills, and now was no different. I made sure to ask a few key questions of our tour guide, just to look like I knew what I was doing. Finally, she showed us the bedroom.

It wasn't very big, but what made up for it was the window. The other windows had little to showcase except the brick wall across the alley. The window in the bedroom, on the other hand, opened toward the street. We could see a lot of the district from here, building after building, and in the distance a little bit of the sound and the tops of skyscrapers.

I couldn't stop looking, and Danny asked her if we could have a minute to talk. She left us after a little fussing, and Danny joined me at the window.

"Well what do you think?"

"Danny, I--"

"Oh wow, look," he said, forcing up the wide window. I noted there wasn't a screen, and I leaned onto the sill and breathed in the salty air. I felt Danny by my side, his arm touching mine. He moved his hand into mine and our fingers intertwined.

"It's not much of a balcony," he said.

I smiled. "I think it'll do just fine."