All Comments on 'Just What I Needed'

Great, I enjoyed it.

If this is your first submission, I can't wait for the next ones. This story was very well

told, and never boring. Keep up the good work.

This was loving, sexy and warm, well written and enjoyable, so please write more just like it. Definitely 5 stars in my book, a very nice job indeed, and kudo's for getting Xarth to edit for you, he doesn't suffer fools gladly, so a double-shot of 'Well Done!' to you!

An excellent first submission. Very well written, with good characters and pacing. Very sweet and hot as well. Good work!

Hard to believe this is your first work it seemed so professional. Great story and pace with a happy ending - or is there more for the siblings?

Look forward to reading more from you.

Well done on this impressive debut, the quality exceeds the standard debut work. Hope to read more of your work. Thanks

Well done, an interesting plot and excellent flow. Left me wanting more! I hope you have a few more chapters to this . Please don't keep us hanging for more!!!!

This story left me wanting so much more!

Please, please, please continue writing more stories like this

And perhaps also a chapter 2 would be awesome!

Impressive for your first submission! They just didn't drop down on the bed and go at it from the first paragraph. There was quite a bit of angst, fears and doubts going on with both of them. You conveyed nicely how they both wrestled with them. I realize that most stories on this site are fantasy. But this one was very believable. I had no problems envisioning what the sex would look like when you described it. Good job!

I am impressed. This was extremely well written. The plot was well thought out, flowed smoothly through the telling, strong descriptions and as erotic as hell.

This is excellent for your 1st submission. I hope that you continue this story & continue to28CC write new stories. It's a blessing to find a well written story at this site.

To many seem to be written by over-hormonal teenagers with barely a double digit IQ.

Genuinely well written story. You really captured the characters and their emotions which only meant that the sex was more believable. Look forward to reading more of your stories :)

Really nice job, Liz. You picked a great editor, in Xarth, and I felt some of his tautness and pacing, but the story is yours, and held my interest throughout. You could leave things where they are and the story would be complete, or you could continue in a sequel - your choice. Whatever, keep writing - you have talent. You show the tragedy and beauty of love at it's finest.

Really good, especially for a first story. You certainly know how to write.

I have to agree with others. This was a well written story. I wish I could do so well. You could leave it like it is or you could follow on with it. It would be interesting to see where it leads. I loved it.

Too many stories on here are just mindless sex,but this a really nice build up thank you and keep up the good work

This was truly amazing. I have always said there was nothing wrong with incest romance as long as both are consenting adults. Some people were just meant to be together. Society is totally wrong on this subject, if they want to be together that's their business and no one elses. Fantastic story and thanks.

Thank you for giving Danny some chest hair -- too many of the young guys in these stories are too smooth!

Your first story? Impressive. I do like how you wrote it, providing background and character depth. I also like that it was from the woman's perspective. I see few enough of those stories on here, or at least good ones. You have a knack for this. One piece of advice, though. This takes place over several months, and a lot can happen in a few months in the real world. Perhaps a little more filler there, chronological progression of Becky's thoughts maybe, would go a long way. But I enjoyed it. You get 5 stars from me, love.

Wow! I was not expecting that! Incredibly believable, realistic dialogue and relationship. Solid build up and the heat and intensity of their first encounter was rich with realism. It carried the heat of a genuine interaction, the fire and lust when you are first discovering another person. I look forward to your future work. Thank you!

I actually look for stories from female authors, and you certainly didn't disappoint. I look forward to maybe a continuation of these characters, in any case keep writing.

Good job. Write more

Thought it was excellent - gave it a 5. I would love to see this turn into a small series (4/5 stories).

would love a sequel of this

When you mentioned xarth as your editor I thought it'd be good. But that surpassed my expectations. Well written, great story, and I enjoy female perspective stories. Keep writing

This category always benefits from having love and romance in it. You let the tension, doubts, and love all come through. You didn't have them fall into bed like a bad porno. This was really enjoyable. Thank you.

My only "complaint" is somewhat tongue in cheek in nature and shouldn't be taken seriously, but; As I'm from WA myself, you really overplayed the rain part. :P

I must say that this story was very entertaining...It sounded truthful particularly the very beginning. This has made you an author.......Great build up....A little confusing with the endings.......But I will buy your hard copy anytime..Liz.......

I really enjoyed this story, wish there was more!

You have the girt. This is truly superlative work. Please keep writing. Most people want a chapter two, but for me, if you left it alone, I would be fine with it. It was so sweet and tender, yet rough at times like their sex. Wonderful. So much emotional depth and characterization. You have written a masterpiece. Bravo!

it was intense, great story, plz more :)

are u sure u've not written any other stories elsewhere... Coz from whichever angle i look i find it just awesome... Gr8 work, keep bringing new stories...

I came to literotica for other reasons but this brought back memories of my sister.

1964 Toronto Canada and a barely out of teens brother and sister trying a lot of people and finding each other.

Lasted fifteen years until her premature death. I am 68 now and had she lived I would be with her still.

Damn you and thank you.

I loved the slow pacing and the effort you put into developing both Becca and Danny's characters, and the fact that you took the time to describe their surroundings.

Little things like Becca kicking off her uncomfortable shoes are what separate the wheat from the chaff.

And of course, a hot sex scene is the icing on the cake.

I look forward to reading more of your work :)

perfect .cant say any thing more to judge it down,

Very well done. Very, very well done.

Please write a follow up. PLEASE!

Great work. The whole story was great... pacing, characters, etc. It was awesome and I hope you write more stories!!!

Wow, you're not just an incredible editor, you're also an incredible writer! Wonderful buildup with an excellent payoff. Love the rough stuff too! Great work. The best part? Labyrinth, lol :p

...Very well written. I hope you're working on more stories.

Welcome to literotica. This was an excellent first story. :-D Well thought out and with the right amount of detail to give it depth but so it isn't too long. I hope you continue to write and share your wonderful talent with us. ^.^

This is a wonderful tale and I am happy you chose to share it with us. The feelings involved came off as fairly realistic. Becky's confusion over her feelings for her brother and Michael feeling that and becoming withdrawn in turn.

The one thing that I felt was missing was some indication of a shared history between the siblings. You brought up that Becky didn't like Danny's girlfriend but no real other connection that the two of them may or may not have had. I actually wonder if they were close before, or where they estranged?

Aside from that, I felt you did a great job and I look forward to your future contributions.

This is exactly what I look for in a brother/sister story. The hesitation between them, the slow buildup as they juggle with their doubts, and then ultimately succumbing to their love and lust.

I was very disappointed when I found out this is the only story you've written. You have to write more!

Great, great story!

I think you did a great job ....to me the slow build up to sex made it more real congrads .

That, in my opinion, is the hallmark of a good story. I liked the dialogue, build-up and the sex. The sex was well written too.

Keep up the good work. I look forward to more.

This is brilliant! I love these well-brought brother/sister romances that work out well. The build-up was nice, character introduction was good too and this is your first story and like someone else said, this story leaves us wanting more!

Definitely a 5/5!

How wonderful to find that rare person on Lit, a writer who tells a great story from the feminine viewpoint.

Worth all 5*

I loved this. The pacing, the characterization, the descriptions; it was a great read. Hot sex, and believable buildups, all told from the sister's point of view. Wow. I am very impressed. I'd love to read more, either about this couple, and how they manage the potentially very bumpy road they're on, or anything else you want to write about. Very well done. So glad I read this.

Need another chapter. What do mom and dad have to say? Do they live happily everafter? Do they have a family of their own?

I loved this tale lots of emotions and very gripping and I agree with the others your story leaves us craving more please continue

I liked this! Well written, and totally believable. Please keep writing :)

the length, the detail, the emotion, the connection... yea, i can beleive xarth was involved. So much like his style. And he is my favorite author on here'

Hard to critize, was a well writen story. Took its time, explored the emotion. Was great'

Absolutely terrific story! Loved everything about it except the length....it needs more chapters!! Please add a sequel!

it started at 25mph then it suddenly went 100mph you need to be more consistant with the pace. once they kissed it was just to quick and sloppy.

I am not female but, its great to read a story which is clearly well done and shows a woman's perspective.9D26

Loved the Story. I hope there more to the story A next Chapter

I really liked it ... 5/5 .. but the length was a little to long so -1 ... final score 4/5.

i really enjoyed reading this and hope to see a lot more from you in the future

Loved your story. Love your style. Keep writing, please.

loved it - very well written and the tension was built up wonderfully. Hope to see more :)

I think i should change my nane from xarth lover to lizlover great story defenitely looking forward to your other stories

Probably will fall on deaf ears but I 'll give it the time anyway.

Easily one of the better stories at Lit. The emotional detailing is suburb but, at points, is just too much as to be almost cloying. Sort of like a fine dessert. The base fruit/chocolate what have you was top shelf but (and only at points) the sugar used to add sweetness to the dish killed all the base's flavor. You just taste sugar.

Also, it was a trudge at points due to some walls of text and some detailing that slowed pacing. Nothing bad but didn't have the zippyness/flow the top of the top stories have.

A little less passive voice and fewer "started to" "had the feeling of" i.e. more passive type statements would kept flow a bit stronger.

It's a 5 star story, for sure. Probably in the top 5% of stories here. A little more flow and maybe a slight compacting of the overall narrative (which would happen when reworking flow) and you'd have a top 5 story in the category, period.

I can only think of a handful of stories (the actual narrative) I thought were it's equal. And the only thing they tended to do better was flow more briskly from one bit to the next.

Excellent work. You have a talent and it would be a shame not to share it more often if you wanted to.

Loved the story, and I can't actually find anything to complain about. It was entertaining, endearing and warm.

If I have one gripe, it's the level of hatred I have for condoms. They don't belong in this type of story. It actually ruined it for me a little, but hey, I'm a forgiving kinda reader... lol

Thanks for the effort!

love between a brother and sister is more up lifting and stronger than anything on this earth, and has no end, forever and ever

That is true, it's not their parents you're competing with it's a sibling that you're most compared too.

I realize you've already been told that "The emotional detailing is suburb" ;-) (Euphony), but I'll amend that to "superb." One of the best incest stories around, b/c it realistically presents the emotional conflicts of the siblings. They didn't just fall into bed as soon as one of them turned 18! They struggled, as ethical people, not to do what they shouldn't, but finally realized the inevitable. This was a real love story, and I loved it.

love the story! very well written.

everything!

for starters, these two are a couple of young people who act like young people. they're unsure of themselves, they're unsure of each other, they don't have all that much experience with relationships, they still think in terms of living at home with their folks, one of them actually does live at home ... they're just very believably young. danny's even chicken about buying beer!

they're also both very nice and sincere, but because they're young, the niceness and sincerity aren't enough to make everything super-easy on them. they're all conflicted and confused and even though it's pretty obvious to us readers that becky shouldn't ever have moved in with michael, it's completely believable that she doesn't see it. and even though she and danny are obviously super-hot for each other, the whole thing terrifies them both.

and then of course the payoff and the sex ... awesome!!!!!

i sure hope you write more stories soon because this one rocked my world hard. t-riffic job, liz!

I just can say great. .. I hope the next part drops out soon

but, what we need is to learn what happens next for these two.

You earned a 5 from me, This story is a great start to more of the story. Like, what is in their future.

i wish that all 'first submissions' were as well written as yours.

as to the story line i see a very exciting future ahead for this couple.

write more...lol

Genuinely touching and credible, free of cliché, and lovely, lovely prose. PLEASE write more!

great first submission, looking forward to more. Enjoy the female perspective

Idk why but some parts made me cry, pushes her to the floor and leaves and lets her cry. :'( D:

Glad that I found it,glad that I read it .

A really beautifully thought out and written story.

"Loved it " Keep writing. Good luck : )

... When they find out Danny and Becky have been using birth control!

nice read hope to see more of it soon

The way you described the fear of what was happening, while it was happening, reminds me of a true personal experience I had with a younger sister. My own experience didn't Include intercourse, but in many ways it still haunts, yet amazes me. Something that I could never forget even if i wanted to.

You're story brought back very conficting memories.

PS .... No regrets ... Life is too short for that

This was a fantastic story! One the biggest attractions for me when it cones to incest stories is the tension. The fear of the taboo. The desire to control the uncontrollable. You are able to express all of that so well.

I have been a loyal fan of Xarth for quite some time so when I saw that you, his editor, had written a story I had to read it.

I hope you have been able to find time to work on the other stories you hinted about. I am definitely looking forward to more of your work.

Mike

The most believable story I have read here.

So well constructed. Got the balance just right. I know too well that brother / sister relationships like this exist but being able to describe it so well deserves a special mention.

More! Please!

Loved the slow escalation, the believable conflict resolution and the naturalistic dialogue. There are flashes of wit too.

Disappointed to see this is your only work, but grateful it was so finely rendered.

I was on Xarth's site & he mentioned you had a site story as well. I think that for your 1st story, it was SENSUAL!!! I do want to mention that the sexual part could be hotter, but the way you built the characters, the fear, the trust, all seemed to fit with the theme. Don't be afraid to be more daring, sensual, sexual, erotic, & FUN!! Definitely do not leave out the FUN!!

For a 1st story, you did well, 5*! Another chapter to this one could take this story to the levels it only hints at!!!

As a first effort this story was well crafted, believable, well paced and developed and had characters that involved the reader in their concerns. Since I am a nitpicker, I found a few questionable areas, but on the whole, surprisingly few. A lovely first effort, worthy of praise and encouragement. I do not suck up to authors or editors, as I feel constructive criticism has value, even when proffered with blunt force candor. Thankfully, that is not appropriate here. DO NOT FAIL TO WRITE MORE. YOUR SKILL IS FAR TO ABSENT ON THESE PAGES. RARE BUT NOT COMPLETELY NONEXISTENT!!!!

Date Night (date night)

Supreme (supreme)

space needle (Space Needle)

cutoffs and a tank (top)

standard fare (outfit)

not (to) fall

I kept trim (trimmed)

nothing got (-all that) better

my trench (coat)

For a first-time out of the blocks writer. this story speaks of great maturity, originality, grace and sibling romantic love of a younger brother with his three years older sister. Because I relish the truthfulness of scoring I gave this story four stars--my philosopy is the highest score of all is for the inherent risks associated with tthe pregnancy of incestual couples, male and female, for which I reserve my five-star ratings. In my fantasy, my wishful imagination, is that Becky and Danny eventually tell their parent(s) of their incestual love and devotion, and they go on to raise a family and home of several children.

This writer, 'LizHaze,' has shown the ability, and seems to have distinguished herself to be a very prolific writer and storyteller of great romantic incestual love, romance and commitment. She has an innate and graceful manner that is unique, easy and with emotional feelings that puts the reader within the midst of the character's roles! I've made her a Favorite and avidly look forward to her (hopefully) future writings!!!

Damn, love the way you write. Please don't hesitate to write some more. Your style of writing makes me feel that I'm right there. Just great to read, thank you.

You're fan Anibtorr

This was a truly great story. I felt it was completely believable and the pace was just right. As many other reviewers have said the sex scene at the end was almost a bonus.

Please keep writing an providing quality stories for us.

I wound up here because I fell in love with Xarth's stories that you had edited. And so I read your story. I am blown away by it! I can see the similarities but you have your own distinct style and voice and it shines. Believable characters and just highly-charged erotica.

I sincerely hope you find the time to complete those wip stories you mention on your profile. I am eager to read them!

with other commentators. This was such a genuine and honest story about such a difficult subject. Actually it's one of the first incest stories I've read on this site or anywhere and I thought the story flowed incredibly well. Well done. But how difficult for them both. Boyfriend Michael hadn't -- yet -- discovered the truth, but that could change even though they have now separated. There is now a mass of potential fall-out to confront. In that sense the story is just beginning. I did think she was going to cheat with her brother while keeping the pretence with boyfriend.

Perhaps a bit more about their past relationship as brother and sister might have put what was happening now into context, but it doesn't really matter. Once again well done.

LizHaze you need to keep writing! Thank you for this one.

Johnny

You have a way of telling a good story. I just liked the flow. If you do write more I wish you'd let me know.

Found you and your story via Xarth's bio. I've long been a fan of his work and as such his recommendation to check your submission out was as credible as anyone's. I truly enjoyed your story. You both have a knack for conveying emotion and passion in such a real way the reader gets to share the moment in some way. It's easy to immerse oneself in your story.

In any case just wanted to pass along my appreciation for your work. I look forward to reading future submissions.

Fun read, classic feel good romance with a touch of lust. I liked it and look forward to reading more!

I hope you add another chapter

You write very well, and I hope you continue. The only thing else I can say is you take a long time getting from point A to point B. A picture paints a thousand words. A thousand words should paint a mural on the wall of the theater. You used about 10,000 words to write this story. It had a beginning, a middle, and an end. Unfortunately, you used one thousand words for the beginning, 8700 words for the middle, and 300 words for the ending. That was your problem. The ending, as in all great stories, has to leave you clutching your heart, gasping for breath, or gnashing your teeth with sorrow. Your ending was like having a head of lettuce removed from the ground by use of a guillotine. It was not very endearing, exciting or scintillating. Bob

That condom. It was a red herring? I kept an eye on it, imagining it being the cause of some sort of confrontation by the boyfriend, yet it was just a casual observation?

Otherwise great. Very readable, nothing that distracts the attention (other than that condom?) and makes you regret investing your time in the story.

Ignore the muppets moaning about the story being too long: they just want a little build up and lots of sex (and there are more than enough tales here, of 600-1000 words involving big breasted women and men with dicks like a baby's arm, with little description of anything but the two main participants). .

Ignore those who rattle on about the pacing of the story: this is your baby, you cannot go back and edit it (again, and again if you are anything like me, then again a few more times before you even think about submitting the damned thing).

And, most of all, ignore the demands for sequels: I have seen quite a few fantastic stories on Literotica that have been followed up by mediocre sequels (it is like movies in that respect - how many sequels are as beloved as the originals? We know the main characters, we know they will jump each other at some point because they did so in the first installment, so what generally happens is something utterly alien to the original which oh so frequently does not work. A threesome ensues, or some sort of extreme exhibitionism, or some outlandish fetishism that is totally out of character, you get the picture.) but, as I said above, this is your baby and if that is what you have in mind then go for it, but do it well and don't ruin the wonderful story that you have already given us.

I actually wonder if you are still here, still writing, and will read any of the fantastic comments you have garnered, but it would be nice to see another story...

Good story and well written the emotions of sister and brother came across really well. Shame there wasn't another chapter to take them into their future together.

What a great story

This is one of the finest stories I've read on Literotica. As far as any advise I might presume to give, I'll simply second Ghenghis' comments. I did notice that you revised your profile just a few months ago. I hope this means that you'll soon be posting again.

It wasn't bad. Did drag on a bit tho