All Comments on 'Karen and Helena's Night Out Ch. 01'

There was nothing about this story that has appeared here dozens and dozens of times before - the plot was as predictable as counting from one to ten. The characters are cardboard - two dimensional

If they had just bought them a few drinks and took them home they would have gotten what they wanted. Instead, being totally socially inept, and not very smart, drugged the girls instead. Stupid people do stupid things! These four are all very stupid.

This was totally worthless. I hope this is the end of your story and will be your first and only submission. This is what makes some sites difficult to stomach. You have bad grammar, misspellings, punctuation problem. And to top it off, you have a bad storyline - no character development -- and most of all size 75c breasts? Give me a break!

Apart from being a pretty poor story, the grammar is atrocious as is the spelling and you can't even find consistency with their names.

If this is a first attempt, keep trying, if not, get an editor or someone who can help you put your ideas into an intelligible form.

Worthless plot, worthless characters--To bad they were not aborted.

All of these pussy ass shitheads are anons, because they don't have the balls to post under a name. They are right when they say that you do need an editor, they could've been less assholes about it. There are plenty of people here who can help with your story, so take advantage of it. I hope you improve.

All of these pussy ass shitheads are anons, because they don't have the balls to post under a name. They are right when they say that you do need an editor, they could've been less assholes about it. There are plenty of people here who can help with your story, so take advantage of it. I hope you improve.

The idea that there is a pill that makes a girl instantly aroused is lame...after all, every guy in the world would buy it. Second, women who go to bars do NOT accept drinks from strangers because of the dangers of drugging the drinks. As a girl, when I go to a bar, I know that every guy ( and most of the girls ) are hoping to score and I get to be a little choosy. Like I said, the story has potential, but too many mistakes. Keep practicing.

anon nick which means nothing. You are just as Anon as anyone on here. If you dont like comments by readers, dont read them. Sound familiar? The story lacked something, not really sure what, but it did. I am not a writer, I am a reader, and as such I know good writing from bad. Crazy isnt really a writer, read what he wrote. And he isnt a reader, since he didnt realize the story was missing something. Ah well.