All Comments on 'Kidnapped'

No character building, no real detail, this story is lacking in so many ways

Okay. It was a first try. I like where you ate going and you made an effort. I agree that it is thin but that is a common problem with new writters. Always remember we cant see what is in your mind. You can see the room. You can imagine the feel of thw sheets under her body. You can imagine him carefully lifting her from the car, removing her cloths, the anticipation he feels. All this was lost in your story because you did not share it with us. Was he afraid he miss judged her? He keeps loosing his Top, it is sweet, not like a mature Top who would not break scene. Rewrite it and resubmit and i think it will definitely be a fun read.