All Comments on 'Labor Day Weekend'

you could use some editing or proofreading. There are minor misspellings that detract from the overall story

You have a good storyline here that has lots of potential. As mentioned previously, you have grammatical errors in that you used "higher" for "hire" and "loose" for "lose". Plus you got sloppy at the end and rushed it, just throwing the scene at us instead of showing us what happened.

Instead of writing the story directly into Literotica, do it in a word processing program, then have someone look it over before submitting it to find these errors and make suggestions. You'll get much higher ratings that way.

- would have liked a longer sex scene after the build up, but other than the word choice erors, well done.

Looking forward to more - the narrator with Sarah, and Sarah with Dad, please

38ds;

8 1/2inch cock;

loads of spelling mistakes.

about as EROTIC as a smack in the face with a dead fish!

Crap???

Let's see, you start your criticism with "38ds" and somewhere you throw in a period but your next sentence has no capitalization what-so-ever. Mr. perfect, were you paying attention in the third grade where you were supposed to learn about sentence structure and how you capitalize the first letter of the first word in a sentence? I'm amazed you can be SO piously critical of another person's writing when you seem unable to write even a simple sentence yourself! Clean up your own act before you try to make like the big mouth critic! You fail on all counts. As for the level of EROTICness being compared to a slap in the face with a dead fish .... I say if you don't like sushi, don't put it on your plate. Read something else, Bozo ... like a guide to basic grade school English. And don't be bad mouthing someone else's effort when you are unable to meet the standard you claim to hold up to another writer!! You "sleezy, totally negative critics" are the only disappointment I've run across since I began reading Literotica a few years ago. All writers, regardless of their level of experience, could do without your CRAP!!

As for the author of this story ... keep on writing!! You have plenty to offer!

Nice story, well written