All Comments on 'Lake Powell'

Couldn't really take this seriously. Not too many people are this fucking unhinged.

A fitting end for the cum dumpster Kristen.... Renata should have been drowned for the bullshit excuses she made on her behalf, Bob deserved a better fate.

about Scott or Kristen because they were sorry pieces of shit to begin with. Come on, all that shit the other wife put out was just that, shit. Maybe a woman can get fucked more easily than a man and maybe she can't. Doesn't mean she should and the excuse that Kristen used about Scott being so gorgeous and hung and a much better lover than her husband was just grounds for divorce, not a reason to let her slide. And the dumb bitch killed herself because she was that into Scott that she was devastated when he died. She went fetal and refused to let her husband touch her. I say good riddance. She had been mine I would have left her on the island naked with lover boy and took the skiff home myself. Also, if I was the other husband I would start sleeping with one eye open cause acceptance leads to excusing leads to participating and I think she was two thirds of the way there already. Very well written, got a lot of emotion out of me and that's what it was supposed to do. Well done, gave it a 4 for the writing and the flow and almost gave it a three for you creating the situation without letting the husband call his wife on her and the other wife waiting on Scott but telling the rest to get their own shit.

Im glad scott drowned, too bad for Bob and the bitch deserved to die . she lied about the whole thing

Yes the author took licenses to add his twist to many of stories arising from party boats on large lakes... I kinda liked this one. A little over the top for me but I rate this one between 3 and a 4. so I flipped a coin and came up with a 4

A terrible way to end a story. Cheating is bad, but no one deserves to die.

Some sick shit here on a sex site.The last page made me puke with disgust.

Maybe in fetish but not here...

But, bad shit happens when people cheat. The story isn't all that unrealistic, except that Scott was on that vacation at all. Riley should have objected when Bob asked about bringing Scot. But more importantly, Bob shouldn't have even considered Scott as the sixth. These are 3 couples who are close enough friends to have a vacation ritual. That kind of friend does not bring a stallion with a past into an intimate gathering. Another large party, maybe, but not a small group event and definitely not close quarters for an extended period.

When the women were trying to make this BS argument/excuse about how it's easier for a woman to get sex than it is for a man, why didn't Riley say, "So what's your point? I agree, it's easier for a woman to get sex than it is for a man. That's why it's important to have a wife that has enough moral fiber, character, and strength of will to resist the temptation. The question is, if I let you get away with it, what's to stop you the next time a guy smiles at you?".

it DOES seem to make sense that he couldn't invite another WOMAN in her place. BUT..

That is when 3 couples simply get reduced to 2. Bob would still be alive and at home etc.

We are supposed to think that Kristen commits suicide over her guilt over the damage she has done to her marriage, more so than guilt over the accidental deaths of Bob and Scott. But obviously it was an undeniable factor in her choosing suicide over facing up to the consequences of her behavior. The problem is her defense argument makes it seem that her cheating would have been inevitable, or that she was in some way helpless to stop/prevent it. Obvious BS, because we know from the narration that much more simply stated, she just WANTED it. She wanted Scott. But wanted him enough to ignore any off the fallout or consequences. She thought they would het away undiscovered. In getting caught? Now she can't deal with admitting to herself or Riley that she was looking to cheat, and would have sooner or later, if she thought she could het away with it.

So when she figures THAT part out for herself, then she decides she can't live with it, and must commit suicide? No, I don't think so. Perhaps the guilt and grief over the loss of friend and new fuck buddy WAS more important than her marriage. Actually, as it turns out, EVERYTHING was more important than her marriage, and considering Riley's feelings at any time was the one thing that she NEVER did do in the telling of this story at all.

And not erotic. Waste of time. Sappy melodramatic nonsense.

Well written and without a dull moment.

Good job writer!

The morals, however, are

all over the place.

In my opinion.

Clearly Scot had no place

in this vacation.

Riley is strangely generous in

giving Scott opportunity to

seduce his wife.

It takes two people to cheat.

Both are responsible!

When has "He started it!" been

a reasonable defense?

Kids are not mentioned here.

If Riley and Kristen had kids,

her suicide would be unresponsible.

Without kids understandable.

Reasonabe? That's probably as

hot a topic as politics and

religion.

Morals are matters of opinion,

but the good quality of this

story, for me, is not.

A good story that reminds me of the Twight Zone. A chain reaction to an event that leaves everyone in shock. Hope this was just a story and not about someone's life. Good writing.

SCM

Average story at best. Too many things went by that should have been challenged.

First, how did Scott even know about the vacation and that there would be an opening. Bob must have told him but why?

Second, why didn't Riley question Bob about why Scott would even want to go on a 2 week vacation with people he barely knew. A vacation whose sole purpose was to get away from the rat race, relax and enjoy each other's company. Scott would have been a 6th wheel on the trip.

Third, why didn't Riley talk to Kristen (and Renata) about their behavior toward Scott? Waiting on him hand and foot and Kristen giving Scott a hair cut, something Riley had always looked at as a loving, bonding action which she only did for him .

Fourth, during Kristen's explanation about her seeing Scott watching her and Riley have sex and being erotically stimulated by his voyeurism, Riley could have interpreted that as Kristen mentally and emotionally being fucked by Scott. She was envisioning Scott fucking her and not her husband Riley.

Fifth, the argument about who can satisfy their lust easier was a lot of nonsense. If someone has the hots for a babe or a hunk, what difference does it make who could satisfied that lust easier. People have free will. They can say yes or no. They can do the right thing or the wrong thing. Period.

Sixth, Kristen's suicide allowed the author not to have to explore the aftermath of Riley and Kristen's marriage and all the fallout and consequences.

You Pay, sad but true.

En Masse demises as curtain rings down has been certainly done before Shakespeare did it in Titus Anronicus . Richard III had a high body count as well. To me , the body count was a bit high in terms of the frivolous extramarital f--k.

Still multiple passages flowed very well .rjordan has a deft touch building up tension and inputting circumstances accruing that lead to perfect storm of adulterous tryst. He also jumped credibly in and out of characters ( including the ' bad ' guy ) heads and gave reader their POV. The taboo action was heated and yet it turned on a dime with discovery and the sordidness and shame was brought home vividly.

The payback after Scott's hilarious, involuntary nature boy trot back to boat was where story lost some the previous near pro quality luster . Kristen winds up comitting from left field. The mental instability or susceptibility to commit this extreme act only started to show in her mea culpa at the end . Doing this much earlier aka Ophelia in ' Hamlet ' or Marla in " Fight Club " could have made ending more seamless.

Scott and Riley's friend deaths due to freak weather outburst are relayed 2nd hand to reader. Given that author did nice job hopscotching from one chsracter'sPOV to another- this was a bit unsatisfying . Richard III , Darth Vader and Tony Montana give us memorable first hand demises. Let us see the bad guy go DOWN ( please ).

I'd like to close on positives in this story and may well repeat myself . Oh well ...

1) author juggled multiple characters very well and assigned them each individual traits so they weren't jumbled in my mind.

2) Enjoyed VERY much the nature setting , no shopworn domestic or workplace trysts locales.

3) Tension ratcheted up well

4) Excellent aforementioned walk of shame confrontation

Bottom line I thank rjordan for sharing and hope in future he's open to editor or beta readers. He is searching for right mixture of grit, savvy and sensitivity to rise to ranks of premium Loving Wife storyteller. rjordan has definite talent and has flashed here the work ethic to make this arduous goal happen.

Stop that.

Excellent, tight storyline and superb writing. Jealousy is indeed a bitter master. xoxoxoxo Annette

However, for me, the multiple deaths weren't drama, they were parody.

“Getting him beers, clearing his plate after a meal.” – I know it seems innocent, and Scott IS “sort” of a guest, but married women should be more discreet with a single guy.

Flashing? Skin is one thing, but when I hear “flashing” I think skin that only partners should see!

"You're right. That was uncalled for. Why not?" – It WASN’T “uncalled for, and “why not” is because drunk and apologetic or not, he’s a guy that came on to you in the past, and now you’re going to be alone with him in a bikini with your husband away!

Why is she checking for someone looking from the house boat if she isn’t thinking of being inappropriate? There’s no damn reason for her hands going more than an inch or so up the bathing suit legs. Again, pushing her hands farther than she should!

"More wonderful than you know, honey." – Yeah, because I was fucking Scott in my head!

"So what? She begged me to fuck her." – So what? So she’s married, asshole! So much for being “drunk” and “apologizing!”

“I think this has been building for awhile." – I think he’s right! How else did Scott know about the trip?

“Few men can compete with him on those terms." – Boy, THAT’S gonna make him feel all warm and fuzzy!

I wish I could feel sorry for Kristen, but she did it to herself. Knowing her lust for Scott (which she had already gone too far with!) she should have just gone back to the houseboat topless, and had the guys deal with Scott when he got back.

Maybe Riley can hook up with Becca!

@WhoGivesAShit, you’re right, you don’t invite a pussy hound who has ALREADY sniffed around one of the wives on a couples’ vacation. Maybe, MAYBE if all six people normally hang together, but knowing that there are a lot of separate activities, i.e. opportunity for the pussy hound to do just what he did, NFW!

Renata says that she and Jason are best friends, and that Riley and Kristen are even BETTER friends; well, we’ve seen what happened to THEM, I’ll bet that makes Jason feel comfortable!

I’m a little puzzled by Scott’s hike. Bob was supposed to go get him, but Scott hikes back before Bob has even left?

I gave two stars for this mindless slut story. Did Kristen kill herself, out of fear of losing her husband, or because of the death of slut fucker Scott?

Some pointed by @sbrooks103x. The worst issue for me was the cheating wife to be so devastated after the big dick lover boy and the friend that put a snake in the garden were found dead. So devastated that she killed herself that same night. She should have been calm. Destiny had solved her problem. Lover boy would never show up again. The friend? It is called war casualty. She killing herself It was too much.

If Kristen was that mentally weak and fragile then the marriage would have failed sooner or later anyway. Riley is better off, and didn't have to pay for a divorce. I enjoyed the snake and the snake handler dying, but I don't see how they died but the boat was OK? I guess we are to presume they both got thrown out of the boat, with no life jackets on? If so they deserved to drown. Hey, she said he was a great fuck, not a great swimmer. Too bad she got all cut up over his death. Guess once you've had cock that good there's nothing else to look forward to in life.

Wow, my comments are almost as ridiculous as your story!

...who was there to like in this sad story?

This writer does have intense talent that just needs refined.

The writter has talent, however the story was horrible. The characters were all assholes ESP the women. The length at which these women go to justify the affair and put the husband down is disgusting.

It makes you glad they're dead at the end. Sadly hubby is so fucked up he will never be right in the head again.

It is a well-written tale of consequences and how a bad decision can have repercussions that nobody would have thought of.

And that, anon, is what was enjoyable about this story.

A slut wife who has the accountableness for her cheating!!! So whats the problem?? They all deserved what they got!!!

True Consequence story. I know many readers think a Consequence story is divorce simple, but it is not right. Sometime a Consequence story could be a tragedy as this story was.

Somebody wrote the natural San people's (Bushmans in the Africa's south part) murder rate is similar to NYC's, because of cheating!

BTW 5*****

However I prefer BTB stories to Consequence stories.

The suicide was a distasteful turn, in my opinion. This reminded of another story I read on here. The hubby's reaction was a bit odd. Not really sure why she killed herself.

Yeah, I started killing characters off and couldn't stop. Kristen gave me pause, though. So I cancelled my plans for the plane crash and fiery pickup collision to take out the rest. Enough was enough.

Thanks for the comment, DrBeamer3333, and thanks to everyone else who gave me something to think about for future efforts. I truly appreciate any comment, positive or negative. For those who could only manage "cuck shit *1", I applaud their efforts to peck out that much on their keyboard--small steps.

This story is exactly why I try not to give up on author's and read almost every new story. The first time I read one of your efforts, it left me a bit cold, but this story was very well written with complex character issues tough choices and actions. Thanks for the effort.

I found the explanation by Renata unusual. She tried to justify it that women are incapable of resisting a good looking guy, but Kristen did it twice before. Scott had to work on her, the same that Riley would have had to for the neighbor. Seemed similar situations, so didn't seem to justify her falling for the guy at all. Overall a good story, just confusing justification.

"Cheating is bad, but no one deserves to die." -Anonymous 1* In most cases I agree. On the other hand predators like Scott, who go after married women, and defy their husbands, to do anything about it, have no justification for being allowed to live. Good riddance of bad rubbish.

Of course 3 deaths are not proportional for a bit of cheating. But only the boat operator taking Scott back to them marina was a possible victim. Scott deserved pain before death, the wife didn't deserve to die but at least she had true remorse and regret.

We live in a copulated arriba world where society says we are only supposed to use words and lawyers to punish "people" like Scott. A world where there is no shame, only talk show level rationalizations to justify betrayal and infidelity.

Some people think YOLO is a reason to live like swine. Some use it as a reason to always try to hew to what's right. Sad that some think impulsive hormonal responses make it OK for anyone to betray others. BTW, the guy who brought Scott deserved to die. Business before friends?

The cheating wife is dead, good. She only committed suicide because she was going to miss Scott. The big dick wins all the time.

There was no justification for Kirsten to have cheated. We all have people we look at, admire, and somethings lust in our heads for. The guilty person in this story was Bob, he knew the past and brought him over the objections of his friend. Bob and Scott drowning due to their own actions, no problem. Divorce for Kirsten, no problem, you cant be friends with a person that has betrayed you!

I didn't like this at all.

Not a pretty story at all. Predatory men and stupid women make a bad mix. Too bad about Bob, Scott and Kristen not so much.

Good story. Seems like karma came calling for the cheaters. Not sorry to see it.

It is very, very, very seldom that a woman is so distraught after betraying her husband that she kills herself.

Well, she had more to be upset about than just cheating. Her cheating led to the death of two other men, one a close friend. And who knows what problems weren't revealed in her life before the Lake Power trip.

Thanks for the comment.

Save me the trouble of throwing the whore out

Well executed, interesting plot. 5. Now, "There's a connection, but not a cause. Jesus H. Christ. She's dead for no reason..." This is childish reasoning, and maybe the character is meant to be mentally limited, but IRL events are multi-causal, and Kristen's sluttishness was a classic "but for" cause. Although many commenters seem to think the deaths were "punishment" for adultery, and I do think that as a punishment it is thoroughly deserved, as written the deaths were just consequences of the adultery. In life, many actions have unexpected consequences. I do think the suicide saved the "Riley" from ultimately being written as a weak, needy cunt of a man, but that's just speculation. The whole "Renata" attempt to reduce or eliminate the moral agency of Kristen by going on about how much easier it is for women to act on lust was idiotic, but perhaps that's who the character was intended to be - someone so concerned with "fixing" things for the slut that she'd mouth any bullshit to try to get Riley to cuck-out.

This is a very good author.

Started okay but turned to cuck shit with stupid discussiosn and a suicide ... she is not strong strong enogh to avoid cheating but to kill herself ...

Kristen was weak, then she was weak.

Histoire qui commence bien et termine en bla-bla merdique. J'aurais préféré que la pute ne se soit pas suicidée.

Une fois que j'ai commencé à tuer des personnages, je ne pouvais plus m'arrêter.

Merci d'avoir lu l'histoire.