All Comments on 'Lara's Gangbang'

I don't like leaving criticism when my stories are FAR from perfect, yet I also don't like reading negative comments that don't offer advice on how to improve what you found distasteful.

She sucked his and his cock... then moved on to his cock... 'how' did she suck their cocks?

Did she lick them? Did she like the taste? Did they enjoy it? What did they feel?

I got the feeling when she kissed the guy back that she was a willing partner, yet didn't understand why she tried to pull her hand away in the beginning... She'd obviously enjoyed their attentions from early in the night, why did she feel threatened when all of a sudden he took her hand? Did he hold her too tight? Yank her back?

I think you get my point. You could improve this and resubmit it as a thoroughly enjoying and arousing story.

Email me if you'd like more advice, but keep in mind, I'm a novice too. I just know what I like to read.

I enjoyed the story very much. Only a couple of spelling errors, but it was a great story!! Nice visuals:)

It was a good story.. I would have liked to see them take her with a little more force.. looking forward to reading more of your stories.

Makes me long for football night and the nearest sportsbar!

This really didn't do it for me, it was obvious that this was written by a man who hasn't talked over any of these kinda of situations with a woman so it really came out a little creepier than I like my non-con, which I know sounds odd.

Ignoring all that, I'd say my biggest suggestion would be to go through and do a hard proof-read. Circle the first word in every sentence, underline the verbs that your characters are doing. You'll see a lot of repeated phrases and actions ("hissed" for an example). Then I'd look at how to rewrite those sentences so they aren't so repetitive.

This doesn't really belong in non consent.

Your lack of proper punctuation makes the story difficult to read. Maybe an editor would help with the next one. Just a thought.