All Comments on 'Last Dance'

there is punishment for fucking over people.

I enjoyed the plot, but your writing can use some work. I was generous and gave your a four.

for an incomplete story. It was obviously not her husband. Not much here. 3*

I never meant it to be a high score.

Which does not a story make

Maybe just a scene, but a great one.

a fat cock smoked, a cornhole busted, betrayed!

I think the preamble to a maybe a great story. Got me all dressed up and no where to go.. later I hope.

Too short...too many details missing...But not bad, because she knew what she had done and that time to pay had arrived...3*

the sickos and their same stories everyday just a different author name.

But at least it suited the LW category description 'Extra-marital Fun.'

Not much so at the end, but she had fun while it lasted.

Lue

It was kind of hot, and the end was a stark contrast. I don't need a cradle to grave tale. This was a nice slice-of-life shocker. The just recompense of reward. Thanks, Randi.

Kind of a quickie...but quickies are good. No?

4+ *s

I did not see that coming. Nice twist and a nice quicky.

short and to the point.

Celebration for her, I'm sure she'll remember it for years......

Thought it would be her and her lover.

This could have been an interesting story if it were expanded. The whole “flash story” label is nothing more than an excuse for lazy writing.

This story is a textbook case of a closet cuck who gets off on the idea of a married woman having extramarital sex, but hates himself for it, so he tacks on a BTB ending.

At least, I think that’s what happened here. I’m not sure.

The only thing that I'm left wondering, who was Peter? Was he the future ex-husband, or the paramour? I'm chuckling as this was probably your intention all along. Good work, and keep it up!

Ugly, pointless non-story.

I got that she was cheating right away. I just also as I kept reading hoping it was her husband as that would make it extremely hot. But the divorce being served while being unfaithful was justice. I actually thought Peter was both the lover and the server. But after reading it I think Peter was her husband. He was quick to get her served this time. Good flash story. And for all you out there complaining really check out his other stories. Then you would understand more. Not every author is a cuckold in the making swingerjoe. How many of your stories have I read? Not many. How many of this authors. All. Vandemonium1 all. Laptopwriter all. Get the picture? Write what people truly want. Not cuckold stories.

. . . it distracted a bit from a basically good flash story. Problematic, as 'smirking' is often associated with arrogance and situations a bit different than described here. My opinion, anyway. Not bad, though.

This is more of a writing exercise than a story. Flash or other.

3*s . Because I'm kind,lol.

Should've kept it in your pants err, I mean harddrive. HA, Ha, ha....

AMerryman

I saw enough clues to suggest husband - the revenge BJ fer one, but a bunch of the characterizations before.

I was distracted by the scene enough to not have the title in mind for the end... good job, but you might try another title for the less easily led astray.

Green-something

They were in "their home." The husband, not her lover, was getting one last revenge fuck. He timed it to coincide with the arrival of the process server. The title also suggests she was with her husband. Worth a "3" for the honest effort, and the surprise ending.

I guess I always want to know a little more about who these people are, why she was cheating and what happened in the divorce.

Could see it coming as one of the possible ends. But nicely done.

Perhaps you could have added that , “...she saw two of the photos with red circles and arrows, the not necessarily easy to see unless pointed out, of her with her lover’s dick in her ass. And one, just as happened moments ago, with semen dripping from her lips and chin; though she was looking up with her eyes glazed over, adoration and pleasure obvious, versus the disgust she just minutes ago showed with her rightful partner.”

This is a solid 3.5-stars for me.

Still no epilogue to “Stephanie”? Big demand, though honestly, I think the end was fine. It’s a short story for God’s sake. Have to leaving something out. And this is Literotica, so can’t leave the sex out. So it’s got to be something else. I suppose it might as well be the end ;-)

to fit that much into so few words. Keep writing this stuff instead of the incest perverted crap.

Peter was her husband, getting a final revenge BJ/cum in mouth/facial before having her served.

I don't get all the angst at it not being a "complete" story. The back story is obvious, she was cheating on Peter. I know that some want to know "why" she cheated, but that's not pertinent here.

Thought this was going to be a sequel to Stephanie. FeelsBadMan.

AB, there's some one at the door for you with a big manila envelope. Wipe your mouth and go get it.xoxoxoxo

Petite . Bishop

Thanks.

This was one of the best Burn the Bitch pieces ever. Great Job!

He had been cheated on. Wanted to make her do someting she said she did not like... Used her, Abused her , then said "SAYONARA" 4*

short and sweet

She’d told him she didn’t give head until he came in her mouth, but he wasn’t surprised she could deep throat without gagging. That meant he’d seen her do it to some other guy, but denied it to him. Being served just as he served her dessert? He had to have arranged the timing.

There’s just enough for our imaginations to fill in the blanks. Great effort.

The first sentence says it all. They waked inot "their home."

anon.1

"'Yes, it was a fun night, and the fun hasn't finished yet.' he smirked back at her as he led her straight to their bedroom through the dark and unusually echoing house."

"The fun hasn't finished yet?" - Yeah, the fun of him getting his forbidden sex with her, and serving her the divorce papers.

"He smirked" - He's smirking because she's going to get hers!

"THEIR bedroom" - Nuff sed!

"Unusually echoing house" - Has he already had things removed?

Of course it's her husband!

Enjoyed by others who’s wives left them.

It's worth reading over again to see how the pieces work together.

"Enjoyed by others who’s wives left them." - I have been happily married for 44 years, and enjoyed this.

If you didn't care for the story, fine, but you have no standing to analyze either the author or the readers.

All your negativity towards authors and readers who enjoy stories of slutty wives with other guys and you make THAT comment? Where is your comment when other commenters call people sick or the stories garbage? Nowhere. Because you are the loser troll posting those comments. Get a life.

Nicely done flash story, lots of little and not-so-little hints at the back story of a cheating wife caught out, like the echoey house stripped of half the contents while the couple were out for the last time, new underwear for new dates, using the safest orifice for a vengeful bareback blow-off. I thought Peter stripping off his shirt was unnecessary but, hey, it was a steamy night and maybe he, too, wanted to show off the benefits of his new gym membership. 5*

You wrote...."Thanks for reading. It was never intended to be a full story" I say, "then why bother?" Just another "writer"....with a brain fart who wrote it down and submitted it for publication! A good writer would have taken this story line and developed it into a real story with a pre scene buildup...this part in the middle and then an aftermath! I did give you a *2* for at least writing it down...

I think I have a thing for how process servers leave. Here, he walked briskly out of the room. Not bad I guess, but my favorite is "he turned and walked straight out the door"...he didn't zigzag, didn't do a pirouette, didn't skip, nor did he flash like a ninja or tug on the rope to signal the operator to winch him back up to the helicopter. He totally sinned by smirking, though.

Damned good comment. My cynical mind works the same way. People say the stupidest shit and then take offense when it's pointed out to them. Fuck'em. If they'd just stop saying stupid shit, we wouldn't be pointing it out to them. Why's that so hard to figure out??

I wish you could finish a story. You have great ideas and good starts, but.never closure.

"That'll leave a mark" was a strong clue

that another man was in the picture.

A good idea for a story,

but too short to really impress.

4 out of 5 from me.

A whole new spin on a much used story line. My hats off to the author for his/her creativity. I think the story ended in just the right place.

As a reader, I don't need to be spoon fed every detail. It's clear why and he knew. He found a particularly clear way of telling her. Well told.

Flash story, it could easily be turned into multiple chapters to flesh it out but it stands as is very well. You left just enough little clues to show what was and what was going to happen. Not bad, not bad at all for a beginning writer. Don't be one who starts out getting our hopes up and then disappears. Signed: BTW

Reading again, more carefully, it's much clearer this time. I see the story completely and a damn good one it is too.

Husband enjoys what she was doing for another.

Only drawback what happened to one or more she was cheating with

Very unique way to have a cheating wife served. Well done.

A nice little burn, bet she felt it too😂🤣😂

BTW scores 5/5

One of the best BTB stories ever. Thank you

“Not intended to be a full story” - precious few, if any, of your stories are full stories. They are all good stories don’t get me wrong, but, they all fall short of the finish line story wise

If it's not intended to be a complete story, why the fuck write it?

3 stars - standard BTB - Although, getting 'SERVED' immediately after being freshly fucked was a novel ending

And? ⭐⭐⭐

Good story.

OOH you are so dark and nasty, hope you are not like that in real life, three very dark almost black vengeful tales but that's 15 stars so far.

Needs a little more length. Great job. 5 stars...

Great Story from a Great Writer

Cute revenge fuck story. 4 stars.

The good stories are always too short, the bad ones always too long.

My second story of yours that I’ve read. In both, this seems to be a recurring theme.

I give it a 3 only bec. it’s written the before/ after wasn’t intended. But that also lowered what I might’ve given. To me, if you’re going to write a story- even a short one, make it complete, & definitely with an ending. On this story, the beginning could stay.

Goodbye Fuck. Story has no epilogue so 4stars

Made her give him one of the kind of blow jobs she was giving to her boyfriend (s)

Short and to the point is good .

Didn't want to write a complete story? Then why write it. At least give an idea from the start how we got to what's happening... until the divorce papers. Yeah, she's probably not with her husband dancing. Yeah, she's fucking this other man. Why? How did it get to here? Not a complete story, even tho decently written, 2 stars. Bob

I like short, short stories occasionally. This is a good one.