All Comments on 'Lauren's Beach Trip Ch. 02'

A rewrite, using 3rd person, past tense might score it a lot higher!

I tried, I really did, but it's so badly written I gave up.

There are several resources "Elements of Style" and "Elements of Grammar" are great sources for anyone who is even thinking of writing. Hell, literotica has several resources.

When does the story start.? It seems you´re describing a dream you had where you want your wife to be a slut.

You knows what you wants, but what I wants is not a cheesy , first person cuck story.

I can't read this kind of writing garbage. Learn how to write a proper story. How the fuck do you know what he thinks, she thinks, one more fucking"I" this and that I'll scream. Fuck off, learn how to write, there are people here that will teach you. On second thought forget it, the contents suck as much as your writing.

Why not skip the middle woman and just suck their dicks?