All Comments on 'Law of the Heart: Balls to the Wall'

A rush conclusion and contrary to your norm without any explanation said wimpish in lieu of nothing else.

Closings mean as much as what preceded it.

It almost seemed like you tacked on the last 2 paragraphs later - doesn't fit with the rest of your story. I think it would have been stronger to either not have the last 2 paragraphs at all or add more congruity between the story and your ending.

Up until your last 2 paragraphs, though, your story fit your title very well (except I'd have like to see the other twin brother bear some punishment too).

I did not appreciate this ending to the story because the author ignored the character established for the husband in the original tale and "revamped" him to fit with the "new and improved" ending. The effect leaves one confused as to the character's motivations and that character's actions strain credibility.

The writing is distinctively average and the prose needs the careful hand of a good editor as there are several grammatical blunders and typo's that are annoying and distracting. The plot is escapist and makes no attempt to deal with the marital problems the couple faces, except for the supposed macho man running away to Canada. I'm sure Jake Jr. grew up well in a broken home.

The reconciliation after twenty years apart is not credible. No woman alive (or dead, for that matter) will wait patiently by the phone through an entire generation in the faint hope that her asshole ex-husband will graciously accept her back, especially after he dumped her in Little Cuba so she could be gangbanged by mucho beeg deecks belonging to gentlemen of Hispanic descent. I don't mind fantasies but I do have problems with idiocy.

Excellent fiction this is not. This naught's for you.

He may be a tough guy, but still a fucking wimp! I'm sure Jill kept him in twenty good years of creampie (101 different flavors).

Come on, this is stupid!

To much hate in your story's.. And it's sick hate not clean..Clean is a bullet between the eyes and no regrets.. But this put you at a worse level than the perpetrator... Cheers Yoron.

After two years he let the slut wife who betrayed and belittled him back into his life. Where are the mentions of her testing for STDS and AIDS after the Mendoza brothers then the barroom gangbang? Let me see, good old acetic acid, might have burned a bit for a while but no real or lasting damage. Exactly what revenge did he get? One might say none at all. The Mendoza's didnt know he was there. The wife in keeping quiet was probably afraid he would kill her. Run off to Canada to work. Where are the papers, work permits, and such. He would have been to easy to find by professionals. Nope this story isnt to tough or to hard, in fact it has all the realism of a total fantasy.

I liked it, because you said enough is enough. not that it is really well thought out , but I felt the same angry feelings maybe with all those others who writing about the so bad circumstances and you have to consider this and that... well done

You may not stay true to the original characters but I really get a kick out of your alternative endings. If only.......................... Keep em coming, there are a lot of stories that need rewriting

Since I liked most of your ending I feel that I am justified in addressing my deeback to you and not as you requested to the Sultan of Brunei, His Majesty Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah Mu'izzadin Waddaulah!<P>

All I am saying is that I liked the humor i liked the husband's guts and mostly I liked the essential common sense in the husband's logic (following the wife to the room rather than accepting her fairy tales as we have read in the original). Now, if he can live with the pictures of her doing it with those skunks, he is a much more forgiving person than I could ever be...

the woman was a whore in the original and is a whore here. Leaving her in Miame would have caused her to be shot up with dope and then sold by some pimp as a whore. After a few years she would worn out, drugged up, and wasted. There is no real use for worn out American whores except in the bordellos of South America. More than likely she would have been dead within two years of him leaving her. You dont reconcile with trash, you throw it away.

The original story was'nt too bad but this sorry piece of bad writing is just plain crap

for what he did for Cuba) First he emptied out the jails and all the inmates came to Miami shouting about leaving the dreaded communista. Bull shit. They got federal money to start over. I was working my ass of and wanted to go to school but first I needed a GED. I went to Miami public education to take a course and the first day a Cuban motherfucker told me that the class would be taught in Cuban and was only for Cubans. I hate Cubans and I get even every chance I get. Cuban's suck...in this case Jill sucked the worst cocks in the worls CUBAN COCKS

Adultery is a very serious offence and it is sad to see that Western society has degraded so much the institution of marriage that adultery has become trivial. Any man who accepts his adulterous whore of a wife without beating the shit out of his whore wife and her lovers is a WIMP. Love the revenge story except he should have tortured all concerned a lot more. like liam neeson in Taken

that made no sense at all. Besides after what he did to her she would be infected with so many nice bugs she probably wouldnt recover anyway.

I think the terms "a complete flop" would describe this as well as any.

why in the fuck would any man take this whore back. she probley got fuck by half the guy in little cuba

Time does heal wounds, even if they're badly scarred. A couple years of her searching would go a long way towards him forgiving her. Ultimatley, it's up to him if he wants to take the chance

good story till he took the slut back

Brilliant until the pathetic cucky end.

Why did they get back together - what could she have said or done to fix it - what could he have done to make her willing to stay with him????

The dude is pure dumb fuck. Kidnapping the kid and taking him over the border is a good way to get the feds to drag your ass right back into the USA. Local friends my ass, that's a serious offense. That, and he actually took her back after having her gangraped? Fucking gross.

Que Paso answers itself. TK U MLJ LV NV

Took her back???

Are you fucking nuts???

You have decided to end these stories in a way designed to annoy and irritate the most people. Intentionally. The Sultan shall hear about this! I assume Big Jakes best friend is either called Duke or Dudley Doright.

just to yank the chains of your readers.

-1*

This is the worst. Just laughable. Top 5 POS on this site.

she came alone to Canada, she disappears in the back woods of Canada who would care?

This was the worst. A total piece of shit story.

All of a sudden she shows up and everything is OK? Time heals all wounds? This really sucked!

Have displeased readers send comments somewhere else.

Too much time taken from keeping harem happy cleaning out my email

Good of him to finally grow a set, but find a creative not n DV way to punish her.

I've read some of Incoming stories

and, as other readers, thought

the writer went over the top.

But not here!

I read Headhuntertales first

beautifully written 4 chapters,

but gave up shortly after that.

This guy loved his wife with

absolutely everything he had.

She repaid him by forgetting

her marriage, the first chance she got!

Leaving her rings on the boat

was just the first proof of that.

This is no one mistake.

This is series of actions worthy

of the perfect slut.

I found Incomings solution

just perfect.

Rigth up to when the guy

let the slut find him.

Few of us readers liked that, lol.

Even though Incomings part

of this story is short,

someone managed to

misread it.

Saying the guy couldn't hide in Canada.

The writer told us our guy had

sleazy friends.

Why would he tell us that?

If not to get a new name and identiy

for him and his son?

So no reason to let the slut find him,

unless he wanted her to.

Thank you writer for saving this story!

A pity you chose to end it this way.

All the same top ratings from me.

No need beating around the bush some times. (Grin)

I won't say all reconciliation stories are garbage. But this one is.

Why would you write a reconciliation new story ending to a story that originally ended in reconciliation? WTF? Useless as tits on a boar hog. Now if you had written a BTB story ending as another option that would make sense. That aside, I don't have time to write about the unlikely and no way inconsistencies and choices in this story.

Pretty much the worst of the alternates.

3 stars as I don't know why

Juan was punished

Jill ? Y

Slut and you added to it and then took her back?

Why Would any Man take this Slut Back ..

The story left so many unanswered questions that would have been fun to explore. It was a good outline, but it was worth several times over as much story.

I have to agree, why would he want a willing slut back?

Just another pathetic RAAC story!

Could there have been more? Sure, but then it wouldn’t be s Flash story. 4-stars

Lousy conclusion Why Bother ???(jaybee186)

WACC with a RAAC…

Good story til that RAAC ending so Im not sure why the beginning started out that way..

Amost a good revenge on Juan but why didn't his balls get destroyed?? Some vinegar up his noseand in his ears would have been a more complete use of it.

What a stupid story by the writer…he seems to hve left any semblance of common sense under his ass!

A bit more depth/description would have boosted your score. I don't understand the reason for reconciliation.

Just another shitty cuckold story from another shitty writer. Give it up and find a hobby you’re good at.

Thanks for the reminder, ANONY. Vinegar into the ears is a more thorough way of causing damage. Almost as much as vinegar administered to the half of penis remaining attached.

Just another cuck story!

It is a pitiful shame when some of these stories, written by children who assume that adding drugs to the stories will ensure they are considered adults. Sorry children, but you accomplish just the opposite. I read ANY drug, I STOP reading and move on to an ADULT writer.

Well, it had some promis in the beginning, but then dropped of fast, no credible thoght processes, no finesse, .... and the ending?? Why whould that happen?

Waste of time for everyone.

Could have been a good BTB, turned into a garbage RAAC with no point. -10 stars

So, his solution to her being fucked is to have her raped, then steal from her, then kidnap her son?

Yeah, real upstanding guy she married there.

I can understand violence in the moment, like if the husband kills her, but the sheer inhumane cruelty a lot of you sick fucks seem to get off on, makes me glad I'll never meet any of you in person.

dumb