All Comments on 'Led by Fire Ch. 02'

Love the story glad the other women is hopefully not staying but he's still an ass for doing that to her hope he shows some kindness soon

I may be the only descending party - but bringing another women into this story is very disappointing but I don't know the context of their relationship. I was hopeful that after 20 yrs of marriage he was using the other women as a mind fuck and nothing would really transpire - with that said I still disagree with his methods. It only serves to make her feel more unworthy and could effect her ongoing self image even after he obtains the "look" he wants.

Based on the limited information we have -they've been married 20 years. Do they have kids - how would they describe there marriage? Where they happy, equal partners and D/s not working? She asked to bring this dynamic into their relationship - when they talked and negotiated did she/they agree they could play with others? If so, did they need to gain clearance or talk about it before hand or was he allowed to sleep with whomever her wanted? It doesn't appear that way based on her reactions? Without that knowledge I would look at that as a significant breach of trust? Not to mention being cold and calculating to fuck the women in front of her. His words did nothing for me - IMHO he comes across as an sadistic asshole try to change not only how she looks but who she is as a person. There is a difference between being a DOM and dominating and degrading. In my opinion he crossed the line on so many levels.

Finally, did she say he had control over her career/job. There are many women who don't have to work but it is critical to who they are and feeds their confidence. It appears to me that he wants a mindless, robotic partner who will knee and fuck on demand - not a wife or partner. Is that the picture she painted as she was describing the lifestyle she wanted? What is bothering me is that this doesn't seem like he is following the baseline rules of BDSM and based on her internal talk it doesn't seem as if she agreed to these terms. At this point he is beating her into submission. It would be interesting to gain insight on his mindset to understand why he feels the need to act is this manner.

Just my thoughts

1. Break up some of your text walls. They get cumbersome to read.

2. Capitalize firat words in dialogue; there are several instances where this is overlooked.

3. Good continuation, but neess some love in the realtionship conflict. We see her slowly molding to his desire but it feels plastic for both parties. Details, not summary can help.

I've enjoyed the story so far! Hope you are working on the next parts I'm getting impatient lol

I, too, would like to see the story continue. I'm not sure why you haven't continued it; it could be that your imagination ran out of story at that point -- it's certainly happened to me often enough -- but I am concerned that you may have become discouraged by the comments of findingmyway and SimplySilver. Both were clearly well-intentioned, but they may have come across as harsh and unforgiving.

First off, I agree with almost everything findingmyway said about what is and isn't appropriate conduct in a BDSM relationship, particularly for a couple who are beginning to explore those aspects of sexuality after many years in a more traditional relationship. >In real life.< It's clear that realistic fiction is what findingmyway is looking for, but it is not clear whether or not that is the story you want to write. There are many, many stories on Literotica and other sites that take the realistic approach (with varying degrees of success). There are also many, many stories that do not take that approach, and >that's okay<. Only you, the author, can decide what type of story you want to write, and it is not the reader's place to insist that you should make one decision over the other. If you don't care about writing a realistic story, then findingmyway's comments should be completely disregarded as irrelevant. If you do care about writing a realistic story, then you should pay attention to those comments >to a certain extent<, and that extent ends when they prevent you from continuing to write. Writing depth of emotion is hard, and there are plenty of authors with publishing contracts that still haven't entirely figured it out. It is entirely possible that you haven't yet developed your skills as a writer to the point at which you are able to fully realize your vision >and that's okay<. One of my favorite authors has written over a dozen books with rich, realistic characters, but I started reading two of her early books and couldn't finish them. You have to start where you are and keep going until you get where you want to be; if you stop, you won't get there. (Yes, I know, that sounds stupidly obvious, but you'd be amazed how many people don't think about it. Does it sound cliched? Well, a cliche is simply a truth that people have to be reminded of so often that hearing it starts to lose its impact.)

Okay, enough speechifying. Just one more thing about findingmyway's comment: he/she/they/it/whatever would be a "dissenting" party, not a "descending" one, but I don't think one prior comment is enough to provide anything to which one could dissent, particularly when it expresses some similar themes. (I just don't see findingmyway disagreeing with "he's ... an ass".)

SimplySilver also provides some good points, but was very terse, so I'll toss in a little elaboration that might be helpful. (1) Paragraphs do make things easier to read, and paragraph breaks should occur wherever there is a natural break in the thought line. The second paragraph of this comment, for example, is a bit too long. The point where I should have put a paragraph break is right before "writing depth of emotion is hard...", because that's where I make a transition between talking about when and to what extent findingmyway's comments should be considered and talking about writing. (2) The first letter of each sentence (dialogue or otherwise) should be capitalized. Easy way to check: use the find & replace function in your word processor to search for periods. It will highlight each point you need to check, because it's easy to miss a spot when you're just scanning through the file.

Good luck, and I look forward to the next installment.

Can’t understand how any woman would stay this is not BDSM it’s abuse plain an simple did she ask to be abused NO she wanted to be submissive not humiliated an he’s cheated on his wife in front of her with no regard at all if I was her I would wait til he leaves the house then find any way to contact someone an run as far away as possible this is a cautionary tale be careful what u wish for