All Comments on 'Lesson from My Sister'

Great story add to it

U might want to fire your editor. Lousy job. ***

It's difficult to come up with something that differentiates a story from the thousands of others in a category. You didn't quite make it with this story. I read it without enough immersion to notice something like this:

"stick your finger in me as far as you can with your palm facing up...yes, now curl your finger toward yourself"

How else would you curl your finger with your hand in this position? Away from yourself? Sideways? Bent backward? I know it's a silly question but it's representative of the banal writing of the story in general. You didn't take enough time to set up their relationship. She just comes in and plops down on the bed as casually as taking her seat at the breakfast table and five minutes later they're having sex.

Nice try but no cigar.

There were far too many glaring errors for this story to have gone before an editor. It really ruins it.

need another chapter good job

Fun read right through the grammar police issues. The "curl" was a quote from a girl who has a finger in her cunt -- "yes, now curl your finger toward yourself" is what she said. I've heard similar before and it makes no difference whether it is anatomically correct or not. That what's she said. A quote is a quote.

So a fun and goes to show, you can learn a lot as a freshmen... although from my very limited experience, I doubt many do. Thanks.

Punctuation errors in this story are rife and make it difficult to read - sometimes making nonsense of what you are trying to say. Suggest your editor seeks some help in making your story more readable.

My friend it wasn't bad but I caught myself stop by the sentence in which she pushed back her hair...but the word hair wasn't there...other than that the wording of that sentence and really the whole story was fantastic

I sometimes wonder who writes this crap. You have a guy supposedly telling a story we are supposed to believe. He uses the word cunt, the most disgusting thing you can call a vagina, then calls it a pussy slit. It is like he wants to find the most graphic words he can to describe her. Then he acts like a super straight dude who wouldn't take advantage of a girl and doesn't have a clue that his sister is a cum gargling slut. When I start reading a story that is as ridiculous as this, I never even finish. You would think that in the 21st century we have evolved somewhat from what our grandparents thought was acceptable porn into something a little more sophisticated.