All Comments on 'Lil's Visit'

I have goosebumps!

I love the narration of the fantasy, and then switching to the current action.

I'd love comments and critiques, it's the first story I've published so feedback is appreciated

Hi,

Likewise I started posting recently so I know comments are really helpful.

I have to say this is really well written. I like the way you pace it by alternating between the fantasy and 'real life'. You describe the reactions and little details nicely.

Can't wait to see what else you post in the future...