All Comments on 'Little Slut Ch. 01'

Why does this shit need a cliffhanger and multiple chapters? There is no plot and it sure isnt non con or even reluctant. Fuck off.

Love the emotion. Keep writing !!!!

This is a terribly written story. There are so many mistakes I cannot continue. I got a few hundred words in and gave up. FYI it is "should have" not "should of". It's like this was written by someone educationally subnormal.

Unlike some of the other folks here I will try to be both considerate and constructive.

The story a bit non-con, unlike what another poster put and is ok here, I'm unsure what the other person was looking for exactly but since she is at least afraid of what will happen that qualifies. The writing itself is fine though could use an editor; I've read much worse. The story moves along quickly so pacing is good, but if this was going to be more than one chapter, you probably should have fleshed it out a bit more and made it longer.

Finally, keep writing and posting, much like anything else in life the only way to get better is to practice.

Yess defanitly countinue

You have terrible grammar and spelling. Pathetic plot. Do something about it!

BigBadBrian1, excellent! Sexy! Had me in a trance, but you are no longer no.1, but no.2, as you hung up at the very moment that half of your readers were starting to touch themselves indecently. No worries though, you can easily regain your status by continuing with this narrative, which will, of course, hopefully dear god, start off where you stopped. Remember to barricade the doors and booby-trap the alarm, or the wife might walk in mid-coitus. Check the cupboards for cameras - oh, you write the story - you're good at it. More and more please. It's very sexy.

I don't usually comment on stories here especially if I don't have anything good to say, but I feel like you could actually make something of this concept if you fix some problems.

The spelling and grammar seriously take away from any enjoyment one could get out of the story. The misuse of "ironically" at the beginning almost lost me completely. I don't say this to be offensive, but I feel like you never learned how to write a cohesive, flowing story. For example, the way you throw in "I have a thing for petite women ok?!" is so nonsensically jarring that I feel like you never learned to communicate your thoughts clearly. You would really benefit from an editor.

I can see why some argue this isn't non-con - there isn't sex. Sure, there's the implication at the end, but chapter 1 should probably be more than just the exposition.

As a final note, perhaps you should have titled it "Little Bitch" since that's what she gets called in the story.

slow down take your time and flesh out the details. you want your readers to care about your characters.

for example if he was in love with his wife, and he was going to do this merely out of spite where would it lead? He is using his rage and she is somewhat naïve. Is she a virgin? He obviously respects his wife and is taking responsibility for his actions.

Was he abused as a child? Did he see his father treat his mother shabbily or was his mother in the picture at all?

hope this helps

When is the next chapter? I am in need of the next chapter. Give me the next chapter. You said you would consider writing the next chapter, so where is it? You did say so, you did! Go look for yourself! It's been 2 whole days and still no next chapter. I know it's supposedly too soon, but that's not my problem. Neither is it yours, but you haven't been around long enough to know that yet. So where is it?

PPPPPLLLEEAAAAaaaassssssse.

I'm dying here.

I'm not addressing the ones that tried to be helpful with feedback. Perhaps instead of making a generalization though, just point out a couple areas he could have improved. This was his first story.

This guy took a risk posting this and then asked for feedback. Doesn't mean you have to insult him and what he wrote. Where's your award-winning erotica?

BigBadBrian1, keep on writing. Do it for yourself and screw anyone who needs to belittle others to make themselves feel better.

to help your score because I'm sure the asshole of LIT gave you a 1

Hey all.

Ive submitted the second chapter but Lit seems to be taking ages to approve it.

its been four days now already...

Good story, I can't wait for the next chapter. I think you are talented & have a solid start with this. I will be checking back to see if you have continued. Fingers crossed ! Thanks .

And you left the story at this cliffhanger,you tease?!;))Complete it please!! ;))