Looking at the Sun

Chapter 10: The Reunion (Summer Before Senior Year -- Monday)

"Who's texting you?" Hannah looked up from her phone. Sienna's phone sat face down on the table between them.

"It's Monday morning, which means it's probably Sasha with her 'MMM'."

"M&M? The candy?"

Sienna flipped over her phone and opened the message for Hannah to read, "M-M-M. Monday Morning Message. She's been sending me one every Monday since Christmas."

{SJ} Good morning Sienna. Here's this week's MMM: I miss the way you used to kick my ass when we did the Sunday Times Crossword together.

Hannah raised her eyebrows, "Are they all like this?"

"Uh-huh," Sienna nodded, "Some are downright cheesy. I pretty much ignore them now."

"You don't write back?" Hannah scrolled upwards, skimming over the texts.

"Why should I? I didn't ask for her to send these. It's basically high-octane spam without the promise of zillions from a Nigerian prince."

"For a straight-A student, you are pretty fucking dense, Sienna."

"Don't give me the 'she is reaching out to repair the friendship so I need to be open-minded' speech, okay?"

"Why didn't you tell Sasha about Sydney? Or Alex?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"That has everything to do with everything! Sasha almost drove our car off the road when she found out."

"WHAT? SHE FOUND OUT? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME???"

"Uh, because she lives across the street from you and I thought she would have talked to you about it. I mean, she was shocked."

"She's gay! If she has a problem with me being gay, that's her issue, not mine."

Hannah stood up so forcefully Sienna looked up in surprise. Hannah gestured to their room, "Come on, we are getting you packed. We are scrapping plans for this week and we are putting you on the first train home."

"What? No. This was our week to chill before our internships start. I'm not going back home. Mom and Dad are in San Francisco..."

"All the better. No distractions. You are going to go home, and you and Sasha are going to sit down and talk. None of this texting nonsense."

"I am not having a cheesy reality-show coming out moment with Sasha James. That's the most ridiculous thing ever."

"Yes, that would be the most ridiculous thing ever. This is not about you being gay. This is about how you and Sasha need to sit down and talk about how you each have a thing for the other but you are both too chickenshit to own up to it."

"What kind of low-grade crack are you smoking? Sasha is with Anastasia. I'm just getting to a place where it doesn't make me crazy angry thinking about the two of them together, so just cool it, ok?"

"You like her, right? A lot? You've figured out that much?" Hannah looked at her friend. Sienna shrugged.

"I'm willing to bet my tuition money that she likes you too. This is full-on courtship-by-texting, Sienna. You are just too stubborn to see it." Hannah held up Sienna's phone.

Sienna shook her head, "Nope. Not with the A-bomb in the picture. Bad bet, Hannah."

"Before she almost drove us off the road, she made a comment about how it was almost over between her and Anastasia. I never got to ask her about it because she was so fixated on finding out about Sydney and Alex."

"Almost over? What the hell does that mean? And you didn't tell me that either? What kind of a crazy ass ride was that anyway?"

"Don't know. But like I said, I'm willing to bet good money that she likes you too."

"She doesn't. I'm not all glamorous and super-model stunning like her girlfriends."

"You aren't glitzy, I'll give you that. But I bet Sasha doesn't actually care for that stuff. Maybe all that glamor and drama was a way to block out how she really feels about you."

Sienna tried hard not to love hearing that comment, "You don't know that."

"Maybe not, but I've been witness to the way you two have bickered since god-knows-when, and it's like you've been engaging in verbal foreplay for years."

"No we have not!"

"Yes, you have. Listen to yourselves next time: you doofus... no you dumbass... boobless wonder... you perv... Oh my god, it never ends. It's like you guys argue just to pretend you don't like each other."

Sienna picked up her phone and opened up the texts from Sasha. Her heart started pounding. Suddenly, something started to made sense. She held the phone to her ear after punching in a number.

"You're calling her?"

Sienna held her hand up, "Oh hey mom... oh shit, I woke you... No, I just had a question... You know how you keep asking me to call Sasha?"

Hannah raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah. Is it because you heard from Maria that Sasha and Anastasia broke up?"

Sienna's eyes widened, "MOM! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"

Sienna started shaking her head, "Okay, okay. I get it. Yeah. Okay mom. Love you too."

Sienna lowered the phone, "Sasha swore her mom to secrecy, but of course, Maria told my mom. Apparently Sasha wanted to tell me in person... but I'd been ignoring her, so..."

"Time to head to Penn Station, my friend."

Sienna pulled up Sasha's texts, "First, let's see if she's up for it."

"See what I mean?" Hannah shouted, "Verbal foreplay!"

Sienna smiled and hit 'reply', {SL} So you are finally admitting to being a functional illiterate?

Sasha's reply came several minutes later: {SJ} Hardly. Yesterday's Sunday Times crossword puzzle -- send screenshot of completion time when done. Loser buys dinner tonight.

Sienna grinned. {SL} Challenge accepted. How are you going to buy me dinner when you are all the way in Boston?

Sasha didn't respond for a while, but when she did, her text read: {SJ} I'm not in Boston. I'm done with the first quadrant, by the way.

"What the hell?" Sienna read the last text again.

"What, what?" Hannah asked.

"Quick -- pull up the Times Crossword from yesterday. I think Sasha's in New York."

Indeed, about three and a half miles away in an office downtown, Sasha grinned, her fingers flying over the keyboard as she toggled between the clues. After almost six months of silence, Sienna finally bit. Sasha wondered what triggered the reply, but right now, all she really cared about was getting Sienna to show up for dinner. Sienna always beat her easily, and that was exactly what Sasha was hoping for. She looked at the timer, counting up towards minute 30. She still had about half a dozen clues to go.

Sienna did not disappoint. Sasha smiled and grabbed her phone the moment it bleated out an incoming text notification. {SL} Do I get to choose the restaurant? This was followed by a screenshot indicating that Sienna had completed the crossword correctly in 28 minutes and 34 seconds.

{SJ} Buyer chooses. Meet me at the corner of Perry and 7th at 7pm tonight.

Sienna turned to Hannah, "Having dinner with Sasha tonight. Any ideas for getting cardiac assistance so I don't have a heart attack before 7pm?"

Sasha had her work cut out for her. She put together a shopping list, but she had some other things to take care of first. Time flew as she put everything in place for dinner. At 6:50pm, she looked out of her apartment window, which faced 7th avenue. No sign of Sienna. She checked the oven one last time, re-checked the table, and headed downstairs. As she walked out onto the street, she spotted Sienna standing on the opposite corner, looking at her watch.

Sasha let out a slow breath. Sienna hair was up in a ponytail and Sasha could see the graceful curve of her neck. Sasha's eyes roamed over Sienna's simple white shirt, which crested over her breasts before falling casually over a pair of skinny jeans. Her friend was fucking stunning. Wondering if her heart would be up for whatever came next, she trotted over, angling her approach just outside of Sienna's sight line.

Walking up behind her, Sasha leaned in to Sienna's ear, "Hey Wolverine."

Sienna screamed and landed a solid punch on Sasha's arm, "What the --" Sienna began, but stopped when she saw Sasha.

"You cut your hair!" Sienna stared hard. What used to be a messy mop was now shorter and sleeker. Her eyes couldn't settle on one spot and was roaming all over Sasha's face, which was no longer partially concealed by a baseball hat. Strong, straight eyebrows; sharp, handsome jawline; shockingly blue eyes; a pair of invitingly full lips that Sienna had never really noticed before, now curled up in a shit-eating-grin as Sasha watched Sienna react.

"You said you'd like it short," Sasha began, "Come on, let's head up, the food's almost done."

Sienna followed without a word. Had Sasha always looked this good?

"Welcome to la casa James.... The world's tiniest bedroom through there, microscopic bathroom there, and what I have decided to be the very utilitarian entryway slash guest room slash living room slash kitchen slash dining room here. Sienna? You with me?" Sasha turned around to check that she hadn't left her friend behind on the three floor trek up.

Sienna's eyes snapped up and she blushed.

"Were you looking at my butt?" Sasha teased.

"You wish. You got new jeans -- I was looking at the label," Sienna covered as smoothly as she could, "so you live here now?"

"I do. Got a job with Lowell and Jacobs as a programmer for their portfolio risk management team. Hence the haircut -- no baseball hats anymore..." Sasha moved over to the kitchen and checked the oven.

"Wow, that's one of the biggest banks on the Street, Sasha, congrats."

"I only need two more credits to graduate, I'll do an independent study or something. I'm done with school!"

"And you were going to tell me this... when?"

"When you stopped ignoring my texts, which you did today. Thank you, by the way. Okay, careful, hot-hot-hot..." Sasha opened the oven.

For the second time that evening, Sienna stood in shock as she stared at what Sasha had just taken out of the oven. "You- you made lasagna?"

"Yes, ma'am! You liked it so much the last time I made it that I decided to make it again." The shit-eating-grin returned.

"You made that dinner over Winter Break?" Sienna tried desperately to keep up with the surprises Sasha was hurling at her, "Huh, I did not see that one coming."

"I swore everyone to secrecy -- I wanted to see if you'd like it without knowing it was me." Sasha served up two plates and motioned towards the small table by the kitchen. She placed the plates down carefully and pulled out a chair for Sienna.

"Wine?" Sasha asked, "I have both red and white."

"You pick... " Sienna settled into her seat and leaned forward to smell the food, "Sasha, this smells amazing. Wait, didn't you have to go to work today?"

Sasha nodded, as she returned with two glasses of red, "Took off a little earlier than usual. I can pretty much code from anywhere, so my boss doesn't care, as long as I get shit done. Mangia!"

Sienna dug in, smiling as she saw Sasha watching for a reaction. "Very, very good, Wolfy. Impressive."

Sasha grinned, her stomach churning with excitement. If I'd known how awesome it feels to cook for Sienna like this, I would have done it a long time ago.

The two talked about this and that, skirting around Christmas and Sienna's disappearing act. Before long though, Sasha felt compelled to get to the point. She had been anticipating this dinner -- this moment -- for six months. She'd played out this conversation in her head multiple times since Christmas. She took a generous sip of wine, "This is long overdue."

Sienna raised her eyebrow.

"This dinner. I wanted to talk to you. But you did a Houdini."

Sienna looked contrite, "Yeah. I did."

"And it wasn't because of the weather." Sasha stated bluntly, but with a hint of a smile.

"No, it wasn't. It was Anastasia. She was coming back, and I couldn't find a way to reconcile wanting to spend time with you while she was around."

Sasha put down her knife and fork and wiped her mouth with a napkin. "While you were chugging along on the Northeast corridor Amtrak that day, I was moving my stuff out of her apartment."

Sienna didn't say anything. She couldn't; her brain was trying to battle the conflicted emotions of guilt, glee, and sympathy.

Sasha exhaled and said, "She actually broke up with me at Mrs Reilly's thing. But it was headed there pretty much after Labor Day. Just incessant arguing. She had to go to L.A. for the holidays, so we had to wait until she was back for me to get my stuff. That's why I had to meet up with her that day you stood me and Erik up for lunch."

"Why didn't you tell me before she came back?"

"It wasn't really over yet, and I honestly just wanted to focus on fixing things between you and me."

"So your 'clean slate' comment was really about a clean slate."

Sasha nodded. "I wanted us to be friends again on our terms, with or without Anastasia in the picture. Labor Day, awful as it was, was a huge wake up call. I handled the last three years foolishly. And I regret it very much. I'm sorry."

"Wolfy, you never have to apologize to me. But thank you for saying that: you are forgiven..." Sienna toasted her with her wine glass.

Sasha continued, "My friendship with you should be non-negotiable. That's the deal for all future girlfriends."

Sienna heart broke with that last sentence. Oh, I made this thing up in my head about the two of us and it's not true.... Clinging to the moral upperhand, she stated flatly, "You still should have told me."

"Yeah, like you should have told me about Sydney... and Alex..." Sasha raised her eyebrows.

Sienna knew she had cornered herself. Without thinking through it fully, Sienna launched into her defense, "I didn't think you'd care. And what if I had told you? It's not like anything could have happened, you were with Anastasia! And then it'd be out there, and the possibility of being with you would be real. And the idea of being with you is too big. It's too overwhelming. It's hard to explain..." Sienna scrunched up her face and looked away.

Sasha was astonished. "You want... to be with me?" Sasha shook her head in disbelief.

Sienna felt trapped. She had said too much, admitted too much. Shit. #filtersfail. Sasha's shaking her head. She wants you as a friend, not a girlfriend, idiot. Now Sasha knew the truth and it would all get weird, just as things had a chance of getting better. Sienna got up, "I didn't mean it like that. Just forget I said anything."

Sasha stared at her glass of wine, completely paralyzed with joy. Sienna was saying something about leaving which jolted her back into the moment, Sasha looked up, "Sienna, wait."

Sienna was headed for the door. "Sasha, it's ok. I'll get over it. Just think of it as a stupid crush, ok?"

Sasha's heart was exploding, "Well, you having a crush on me would be stupid. Wait, hang on! Sienna, please don't go."

Sienna fumbled the locks on the door. She doesn't want me to have a crush on her. Oh this really couldn't get any worse. "Jesus, how many locks do you have on this door?"

In five efficient strides, Sasha was at Sienna's side. She planted a hand on the door and turned to Sienna, "I don't want you to have a stupid crush on me. Because I want more than that. I want you to want to be with me. Because I want to be with you."

Sienna froze. Wait, what?

Sienna looked at Sasha's arm braced against the door. Then, she felt Sasha's other hand touch her hip. It slid around until it held the small of her back. Sasha pulled her forward. Sienna gasped. Sasha's face was inches from hers.

"Do you want to be with me?" Sasha whispered. Sienna watched those words come out of Sasha's lips, and looked back up into her eyes.

With a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, Sienna shook her head from side to side, and watched Sasha's eyes register doubt before finally turning the shake into a nod, "I do."

"Okay then," Sasha said quietly, "I'm going to kiss you now, Sienna Logan."

Sienna whimpered as Sasha's lips pressed into hers. Whoa... The union of their mouths unleashed wordless confessions of mutual yearning and years of suppressed desire; it defied expectations and was beyond any metaphor or description that mortals could contrive. In that moment, Sienna understood an emerging and immutable truth: time would henceforth be divided between life before kissing Sasha and life after kissing Sasha. And kissing Sasha was revelatory... beautiful... sexy... and perfect.

Sienna opened her eyes, "More."

Sasha smiled. She wrapped Sienna in her arms and kissed her again. They nipped at each other's lips gently, and then more firmly. When their tongues met, both women moaned, and the kiss grew in confidence as it went on... and on... and on. Sasha broke for air first, "Where did you learn to kiss like that?"

"It's an innate talent. Pity it took you this long to figure it out."

"Me? You were ready to run for the hills just now."

"Details, details. Now what?" Sienna kissed Sasha again.

"Truth?"

Sienna nodded. Warm tendrils of happiness snaked their way throughout her body.

"I want more kissing." Sasha grazed Sienna's ear with her lips.

"Sasha, that's not quite what I had in mind." Sienna raised her eyebrows.

Sasha's heart stopped. Oh no. "Sorry," she took a quick step away from Sienna.

Sienna shook her head and grinned. She stepped towards Sasha, and started undoing the buttons of Sasha's shirt.

"Sienna, what..." Sasha felt herself being herded backwards towards her bedroom. She was too distracted by what Sienna's fingers were doing to really object.

"What I meant was... I had naked kissing in mind. In fact," Sienna's hands shook as she undid the last button, "I'm thinking we should round the bases tonight, Sasha James. But if I take this shirt off and see that you have a tattoo of Anastasia on your chest, it's back to running for the hills."

Sienna pulled the shirt off. She stared at Sasha's breasts, small and pert, with surprisingly delicate pink nipples.

"I've never had much in that department..." Sasha said a little self-consciously as she felt Sienna's eyes on her chest.

"Shhhhhh, you are perfect" Sienna covered them with her hands and squeezed.

Sasha sucked in a big breath, she felt herself shaking with lust. It was almost too much.

"Sasha, have you been working out?" Sienna traced her fingers around Sasha's delts and down over her abs.

Sasha shrugged, "Not really." Oh yes I have and thank you for noticing. How do you like them apples!?

"I want to see more," Sienna unbuckled Sasha's belt and starting pulling her pants down.

"Uh, Sienna..." Sasha was having a hard time keeping up with how quickly Sienna had completely disrobed her.

Sienna pushed Sasha onto the bed and took her own clothes off.

Sasha just sat on the bed and stared, open-mouthed. Her eyes short-circuited as they attempted to take in the sight of Sienna, in the nude, standing before her. "Wha-?"

Sienna's heart was thumping like a jackhammer. She felt glorious, standing in front of Sasha, naked. She straddled Sasha's thighs and started kissing her again, "Shhh.... Sometimes, I think we talk too much... just kiss me Sasha."

"Oh my god," Sasha didn't know where to look or touch first, and it didn't help that Sienna's flesh on hers was stunting her ability to think. Sienna's hands were buried in Sasha's hair as she landed kisses everywhere on Sasha's face. Sasha immediately reciprocated: kissing and nipping indiscriminately: Sienna's eyebrows, along her jawline, down her neck, all over her breasts, full and firm. Sasha pulled Sienna down with her and rolled on top. "You are off-the-charts beautiful, Sienna," Sasha murmured as she made her way down Sienna's body. Sienna couldn't respond, she was struck dumb with the exquisite pleasure of Sasha's body lying on hers: every point of contact (and there were many) screamed with electric sensuality.