All Comments on 'Lori, the Cable Girl'

Aleta is believable. Lori talks too much like an adult for someone as young as she. But bar the few dialog issues, a good story. Keep writing!

the dialog sounds kind of weird.

Lori doesn't realize that she likes to be submissive and told what to do.She even helps restrain herself so Aleta can sexualy use her.At the same time Aleta starts out writing an article about making a straight woman into a lesbian by personal use and ends up falling in love!They make a great pair!What started as an attempt at lesbianism turns out to be real love and security for both women.Nice story!!

I really enjoyed the story and wished I was Lori.

It ws disgusting nd a big sin I hate it I feel like barfing

The dialogue was rushed and awkward. Made a good premise difficult to read. Had to stop after two pages.

5 stars . very well done