Losing Han Ch. 03

Yes, a lot of people want Dave to suffer. So do I so I am kind of leaning towards that. But nothing is set in stone (first time writing and all).

As for the internal monologue disagreeing with the wife's actions, in the story, I'm trying to write that Han's will is being subjugated (via Magic! if you will), so the most she can do is internally rage as she enjoys the things Dave makes her do. Even the rage may disappear. As I said before, the drugs are just to get the story going the way I want it.

As to whether Han should feel guilt over not doing the sexual stuff Jack wanted, that's a good point. In fact, I've tried writing Han confessing maybe she should have been more accommodating. But I don't believe she was holding out on him. I tried to outline they had a great sex life and they were both happy. It's just Jack wanted more than she wanted to give at that time (she might have changed her mind later) and Jack did not want to do things she suggested (facetiously admittedly). Rather than communicate further, Jack made a selfish decision and did not think of the consequences of subverting his wife's will. So the apology kind of fell flat every time I tried to write it. I'm coming from a point of view where a relationship is not about what one owes the other sexually but whether the pair are on the same wavelength sexually.

Yes. At the very least Dave should pay. Or Dave should win it all. No in between. Leaning toward pay, because I may revisit the original ending where he wins (a previous version a few people have asked to repost).

As to whether Jack can carry it out is a plot thing.

Well I totally disagree with the no good guy ending.

I also agree with the guy that said that your having her have an internal monologue and yet she doesn't say a thing every time Dave turns on the video cameras.

I get she's mad at him (jake) but she KNOWS she being drugged and often, so she wouldn't just ignore her feelings. She knows he wanted more from her and she was holding out on him, she should feel tons of guilt for not letting jake be her husband and enjoy her body.

A wife should do everything they can do to make their husband happy, and he seems to try to do everything in his power to make her happy.

SR

I think the best revenge jack can have against Dave would be to make him a eunuch, so that he ends up with the cock crazy Han without any way to truly please her himself. For Dave that would be pure torture, and Han would either have to stay with Dave or find someone else to be with/fuck. Of course no matter what Jack does, I don't see him surviving the wrath of Dave or Dave's partners-in-crime should Jack hurt or kill Dave.

Thanks for your observations. The story will be a dark tone throughout regardless of how it ends. I have the ending sort of plotted out, but I am trying to fill in the gaps so it occurs naturally. I am also not wedded to anything and welcome any suggestions.

Also, I've been reading other high rated stories, trying to identify what makes them appeal to others. Most are of course fun to read, but a lot of what works for those stories would not fit with what I'm trying to write. But those that might, I try to understand the guts of the scenes that work and try to incorporate what I've learned I don't mean ripping off though, more like, "that's a cool/hot scene, I wonder how my characters would react if they went through a situation like that" and things usually turn out drastically different but better for my story, from my point of view of course.

Also, it is my first series, and I just want to have fun as well.