All Comments on 'Losing Han Ch. 04'

So is Han officially pregnant? Will Han find out about what Dave did to Jack? Will Jack get help at getting Han back? At some point, I think he needs help. How bad of a whore mother will Han be? Will she neglect the child? Will she give it up for adoption because she can't take care of it?

I like how Han is going going down the rabbit whole and starting to fall for Han but when will she wake up? At some point she has to. And she can't completely forget about her husband since it wasn't her will to divorce and leave him. She has to wake up at some point. Sorry for the all questions. This is a great story. Keep it up!

Han won't be allowed to become pregnant until Roland does the deed.

Jack, well there is a question. Does someone slip him one of the wonder drugs that put him on an even physical footing with Dave? A full recovery plus!

Jack has to get his Han back, but what about all the babies she's going to have. I figure one per year over the next 3 years - two by Roland one by Dave.

And Dave - please give him a very nasty end, he's earned it.

Great story, hot story. I really wanna see Han pregnant now. Question is: how deep will you take Han and many kids will she before she gets rescued or reuinites with Jack. I'm surprised that Han hasn't asked about Jack in this installment. I mean, word has to get back to her. Will she also realize just how evil Roland is? I know she's feeling different emotions for differet people - her emotions of lust and maybe love for Dave, her emotions for Roland, and her still remaining emotions Jack - but will this result in polyamory for her? Will you go that route? If Han reunites with Jack, what will become of her kids? I feel at some point she'll start to wonder what the hell happened to and feel remorse maybe even regret. She knows Jack fucked up but putting him through this kind of punishment is a bit much for what he did. I'm hoping that this all is resolved somehow because right now it looks like she wont get back to Jack.

You painted a very vivid picture of Han's character changing. But these two paragraphs from the bottom of page 4, I think, say it the best.

She loved cum and the sex was addicting, but ... too much of a good thing, assholes? Annoyingly, the men's enthusiasm seemed to delight Dave to no end.

But the worst, the worst of all of it, was how she hoped to do it again. Whatever darkness was in her soul had feasted on the debauchery. Though now satiated, she knew it would yearn to for more. She was losing herself, faster and faster.

Now I'm reminded of Curious2c's The Assignment series.

Please take the following as honest thoughts on the story progression and not a rant.

I like that you are not making it predictable. I see it that Han never knows what she is going to end up doing next as exciting. Also, keeping the reader guessing what kind of torture (Jack), humiliation (Jack and Han), sex acts (Han with everyone), etc. is a good idea too. Your descriptions of the sex going on is great. The bits with Han struggling with old Han vs the new drugs improved Han is good and could be developed out more. I.e. Is this new darkness inside her a separate personality, a part of who she is but has never dealt with, or an unexpected side effect of drug interactions?

Ok, the things that I find not so good. I'm losing interest in the story because at this point, you've pretty much killed off our hero character Jack. Han's character can't keep this going forever and the bad guy wins just doesn't appeal to me. So I don't see the great good vs evil conflict now and you only have Han carrying the story.

Thank you for your work,

A lot of questions, but I'll focus on one. Jack is not being punished, he is being tortured. So how far that goes for Jack (and Han) depends on how twisted Dave is.

As for how deep will it go. Probably pretty deep. Sorry for being vague, but I don't want to promise anything and then back out because I think something else would be better. But I do listen to feedback and suggestions and I have incorporated changes as a result of the feedback. So keep it coming.

As for criticism, I like it a lot, especially what doesn't work for some people, because it gives me a different perspective. Like I said before, I am not aiming for a bad guy wins story (Dave getting his comeuppance is something I would like as well), but the story has expanded a bit to allow plausibility for that to happen. Also, any bad guy wins story I'd spin off in an alt-version that some people have asked for.

I've really enjoyed this story, but less so this chapter. What has made it has been the fucked up situation between Dave and Jack with Han at the centre of it. With Jack out of the picture this episode it loses its edge. I'd like to see Jack return but certainly not to win, he's well suited to his role as hapless victim. I'd like to see the story remain focused on those three, but with a resolution that does not require some happy-ever-after crap between Han and Jack. Perhaps Han finds a way to use Jack and Dave against each other to escape herself, or Jack stares too long into the abyss and becomes it himself...

Since Han is becoming more and more open to the idea of having being bred and having kids, what if she got addicted to it? Like it became one of her kinks? As the dark, slut side of her takes over she wants to be bred.

Maybe while fucking someone, she can say something like "knock me up please. i promise i'll be a good mother." and she can say it in slutty, perverted, horny way because we all know she wont. She'll probably, in most likely hood, neglect her kids.

Which leads me to wonder how many kids she'll have before the story ends. I think it would be hotter if she had a lot of kids. Maybe after her first, she gets knocked up almost immediately again and then proceed from there. But I think she should have a lot of kids before the story's end.

But from my take on the story so far...

1. Han and Jack are never getting back together.

2. Jack may or may not try again to find Han, but he is certainly out of the picture for now. Even if he wakes up, he has brain damage. And if by some means he is able to recover from this, psychological trauma does not go away!

3. Dave looks like he's loosing control not only Han, but his projects as well. Whatever this next phase is, we don't know what the purpose of this "breeding" is. But it sounds sexy as hell! But Han is now going to be completely adrift from anyone she knows now.

4. Roland seems the be the new bad guy now. What are his interests and intentions, hmmm? And what is this mysterious organization or groups of various power players? I see Roland using Dave for his own agenda, but what it is...?

4. Last, and for the author, I want to point out the axiom of Chekhov's gun.

Chekhov's gun is a dramatic principle that every memorable element in a fictional story must be necessary and irreplaceable, and any that are not should be removed.

Remove everything that has no relevance to the story. If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it's not going to be fired, it shouldn't be hanging there.

— Anton Chekhov

Thank you and that's my 2 cents,

The Critic

What about a scene of Han being photographed as a speciman once she gets knocked up? The first pose could be a naked profile her arms wrapped around her her stomach cradling the child, her growing milk filled tits on display as well as her pregnant fat ass. One leg is bent at the knee offsetting her weight. The next poses could be more and more sexual.

As she is being photographed as a speciman, that could be a part of losing herself and her humanity. And she could photographed every time she gets pregant almost like a record of her progress as a slut, slave, and brainwashing.