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I walked through the front door, seeing my dad throwing on his jacket, ready to head to work. "Drew? Shouldn't you be at school?" He asked, shocked at my reappearance at home.
"I did it dad." I said.
"Did what? You're soaking, god you need to have a shower before you catch a cold."
"I broke up with him." I said, giving a sad chuckle. "I'm going to try to be straight. Like how you wanted." I said, my face twisting as more tears threatened to spill. I pushed past my dad, heading up the stairs to my room. Halfway up, he spoke, stopping me on the steps.
"Do you want to talk?" I gave yet another sad chuckle. Of course after I do what he wanted, he wants to console me. Maybe now we could go back to how things were. Maybe with the love from my father, I could forget about Nick.
"No, you should get to work." I said, continuing my way up to my room.
"Okay well, I'll call your school and tell them you're not feeling well." He said.
I closed my door, leaning against it, sliding to the floor. I heard the muffled sound of his jeep rumbling and drifting further away into the stormy morning. I sighed, putting my head in my hands. Maybe now I could get on with my life, finish high school and get into a good college, preferably far from Nick. Forget about him and life goes on.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, pulling me from my thoughts. I fished my phone from my wet jeans, seeing it was Travis on caller ID. I rejected the call, not wanting to talk to anybody at the moment. My phone vibrated once again from a text message this time, also from Travis.
"Dude what the fuck. Nick just told me you guys broke up? Why? Call me when you see this."
I shook my head, turning off my phone. I didn't want to deal with any of it at the moment. I got up, taking off my wet clothes and walking to the bathroom. I filled up the tub with warm water, hoping a long soak would calm my mind and get me in control of my emotions. As I sat in the warm water, I took deep long breaths, telling myself that I was okay, but I wasn't.
Each breath gave me this weird feeling of emptiness within my chest, like a void was left and what it was filled with was sadness. Each breath made me feel suffocated instead of relieved. I felt my eyes water again.
I got out after thirty minutes, the soak doing nothing but giving me prune fingers and making me feel sadder than I already was. I dried myself, walking to my dresser to pick out some clothes. On top of the pile was a t-shirt I had totally forgotten about. I held up Nick's t-shirt, the one he had let me wear at the botanical garden. Looking at it brought back so many memories of Nick, of our visit to the botanical garden, our trip to his mom's and about that amazing night we shared together.
I pulled the fabric to my face inhaling, his faint scent still infused within the fibers. I controlled my emotions as the tears threatened to flow once again. I pulled on the shirt before climbing into bed, settling into a fetal position, hugging my pillow tight for comfort.
I tried not to think about Nick but still he made his way into my mind without inhibitions. I tried focusing on the reason why I did it. I did it so I wouldn't lose Nick. I repeated that in my head over and over.
I did it so I wouldn't lose Nick.
I did it so I wouldn't lose Nick.
I did it so I wouldn't lose Nick.
But the fact of the matter was, I already did.
- COMMENTS
CocoPop1about 2 years agoI feel bad for Drew as his behaviour and extreme thought process reflects signs of poor mental health. I don’t think he handled the death of his mother properly and that really showed in this chapter especially with his overwhelming desire to mend his relationship with his father. I’m not saying he didn’t wanted to before but those feeling may have been intensified by the obvious lack of a parental figure in his life. I mean his mother’s presence in the house has been highlighted by the author (I think more emphasis would have been nice tho). I have a friend with OCD and she sometimes goes through periods like this where she’ll be stuck in her thoughts so much that reaches a conclusion that makes no logical sense to a third party but because she’s spent so much time fixated on the issue, it’s harder convince her that her thought process is flawed. She’s has a good support system and often realises this a few days later when she can view things from a new perspective instead of making decisions while her emotions are high. We’ve had fights where she’s gone too far pushing people away because she’s overthought certain situations. I just hope Nick can forgive Drew. I mean I know it stings to hear some of things that were said but I want to see them end up together. And Drew needs to go to therapy and see a psychologist, maybe a psychiatrist too.
Anonymousabout 2 years agoEven some grown-ups choose to rather not love than risk loosing. Or try not to loving while they actually do.
Heartbraking, anyway.
Casualnagaover 2 years agoTerror is a supremely powerful emotion. The fear of what will happen is subtly corrosive.
justanotherspectatorover 2 years agoI guess every important events feels like the end of the world for a teenager ay? I love your stories and understand how you came up with this but still, Drew is a bit out of character for me in this chapter.
dnsontnalmost 3 years agoAnonymous below is an anonymous fool. Love this. I'm dnsontn: First name Dan, from the South, live in Nashville TN. Anonymous comments rile me and nothing Anonymous, below, beneath, lines up with my reading of this novel
Anonymousalmost 3 years agoHated this not because it was sad, not because Drew is young and full of fear and makes mistakes, but because of these indisputable facts:
1. He is not alone - everyone he’s loved haven’t left. Dean is still his friend, still giving him sage advice and support. And Nick was right by his side.
2. He chose a 100% probability that he loses Nick by his actions instead of courageously facing the SLIM possibility that Nick may die so young. That’s an illogically stupid choice.
3. Drew faced the actual death of his loving mom much more bravely and courageously than he’s facing the fictional “possible death” of Nick
4. He broke up in the cruelest possible way, playing on what he knew were Nick’s vulnerabilities (his guilt), lying directly to his face, using his words as torturous weapons to tear Nick’s heart out to get the outcome Drew “wanted.” And he was completely aware of what he was doing all the way along and still saw it through. One who intentionally hurts someone they love so deeply deserves a special type of hell.
5. Even if Drew tries to reconcile, he can’t take back his words, his purposeful cruelty. What’s done is done. Drew bullied Nick with that break-up in a brutal way that Nick NEVER did to Drew. He tainted their love in a way that can’t be undone, even though Nick will likely forgive him it can never be the same.
This decision shows Nick is a much better man and caring partner than Drew is capable of being. Really ruined the lead character of this story.
Hutchison12over 6 years agoNo Drew , no!
If your father doesn't love you for who you are, then he's not good enough to be your dad... Yes Nick will die, we all do, but we only get one shot at this buddy, get back into the game, enjoy what you have today, tomorrow and the day after will take care of itself:)
Pleasepleasealmost 8 years agoMusicFreak, I must confess that when reading this chapter I was so moved that I could not possibly have foreseen the backlash you received! Shit people, hostile much???
I'm with you mfreak on my Drew would react the way he did. Frankly, when my one true love died after battling numerous deadly illnesses over far too many years of suffering... Well, let's just say I get the whole drawing back thing. I had absolutely no one else nor do I still and as awful as some might find the idea and difficult to understand, pulling back is a very real psychological action many exercise to survive events that are so devastating that there are no words, thoughts, etc. which can bring comfort.
Is this a sad chapter? Yes but guess what all you nah-sayers, life is harsh sometimes. Do you really want to read only stories that keep your heads in the clouds of lah-lah land? Damn, anyone trying to hang on to some semblance of sanity in this life needs a good cry sometimes. Enough of the Beaver Cleaver Fantasy Family myths... life is NOT like that!
In case it's not already obvious, I am not only annoyed but disgusted by some of the harsh comments on this lovely little story. The big thing I don't understand is why, given the world in which we live and traumas and challenges we all must face throughout our lives, that anyone would find it necessary to pass such harsh judgments and lever unnecessary hateful criticisms. Absolutely NONE of that is productive!
So MusicFreak, you just keep up the good work. - I hope you're still writing and if it's on a different site, I'd appreciate a private message advising such.
Meanwhile, I wish you well and will thank you in advance for understanding my intolerance of bullies.
Anonymousover 8 years agoThis chapter isn't working - the breakup is far too contrived - even from a teenage perspective, it makes no sense.
Petef52about 9 years agoYou really are inside our hero's mind...reminds me how bad (and good) it was over 4 decades ago.....
