Love Again

I realised I had forgotten to take a fresh set of clothes with me when I fled from the bed, so I wrapped the towel firmly around my waist, made sure I was properly covered and returned to the bedroom where I found Trisha in her nighty, bent over, searching for something in her overnight bag. The nighty was just long enough to not reveal any of her treasures but it was a close call, my eyes lingered maybe a moment longer than they should have before I turned away regretfully and cleared my throat to make sure she knew I was back in the room.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?"

She didn't straighten but looked over her shoulder at me.

"Wonderful, thank you. I had some very nice dreams."

"What about?"

"That guy I've told you about."

That hurt. Despite my earlier decision. She had been in bed with me, cuddled up and dreamed of another man. I realised how right my prior resolution was, it was the safest for all involved.

Trisha went for a shower and came out fully dressed. I had also dressed and packed our bags in the meantime. I wanted to skip breakfast and get home as fast as possible to get over what had to be done but came to the conclusion that skipping breakfast might not help with proving that I had sufficiently recovered to start working again. Therefore, before checking out we went to the breakfast buffet, then packed the car and started our journey home. The two-hour trip was rather silent with both of us lost in our thoughts.

We entered the house around lunch time, were almost bowled over by our dogs when they rushed to welcome us home. Trisha whipped up a quick lunch for her friends and ourselves and we thanked them for their help. Afterwards, they left and Trisha and I went on an extensive walk with our two companions. We remained rather uncommunicative, something we had never experienced before but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. I felt that she was brooding over something and I myself tried to come up with the best way to broach the subject of me going back to work and thereby ending our common time.

After we came back from the walk and had given our dogs a chewing bone each I asked Trisha to sit in the living room. I served us mugs of coffee and sat down on the other end of the couch.

"Trisha, we need to talk."

"I know. You're about to tell me that you've recovered and want to go back to work."

I was surprised, how did she know?

"Right. I want you to understand the immense gratitude I feel for what you've done for me. You've been the best friend anyone could imagine and, to be honest, I think I owe you my life. I don't think I would have survived much longer. I will forever be in your debt and I really hope that we don't become strangers but keep seeing each other regularly."

"That's nice of you to say. I'm glad I could help, I got a small glimpse of how much you suffered and I really enjoyed spending time with you."

I slid a little closer on the couch and took one of her hands in mine.

"Do you remember our deal?"

She cast her eyes down, "Sure."

"It's time for you to call him. I'll give you some privacy," I said as I started to get up from the couch.

She didn't let go of my hand but pulled me back down to sit.

"No, please. I'd appreciate if you stayed."

Ouch. Sitting by her side, giving her moral support while she threw herself at another guy in whose place I wanted to be would hurt, but I owed it to her. So I set up a smile and tried to look supportive.

"Sure. If you want me to."

She picked up her phone, unlocked it and with a few taps found the contact. She took a deep breath and pressed dial.

My own phone started vibrating on the coffee table. God dammit. Whoever it was, couldn't they wait for a few minutes? I quickly opened the protective cover to deny the call and saw the caller ID. Trisha. What?

I chuckled and showed her my screen, "You dialled the wrong number, Sweetie."

"No, I didn't."

I opened my mouth to say something but my brain had put up a sign 'Processing new data. Please wait', so I just sat there with my mouth open, trying to come up with a comment.

After I had sat there motion- and speechless for almost a minute, she whispered, "Please say something."

"I can't. I'm totally confused."

"I'm leaving."

Now that was definitely not what I wanted.

"No! Don't!"

She looked at me for a moment before sitting back on the couch but she sat on the very edge, her legs pressed closely together, her hands on her knees, ready to flee. My brain had finally caught up.

"Since when?"

"Honestly? About a week after we first met. The way you treated Ann, your devotion to her, the openly shown love. How you treated her as a partner but never failed to respect her as a woman. But I would never have acted on it. You loved her so much, I wouldn't have had a chance anyway. I don't know if you remember but we were at a nightclub maybe a year after we met and you went to get us some drinks. While you were waiting at the bar, you were approached by a real bombshell, hell even I got hot looking at her and I'm as straight as they come, and she really put on a show for you, rubbing her barely covered tits all over you. And what did you do? You brushed her off like an annoying insect, took our drinks, came back to the table, served my drink, sat down next to Ann, gave her a little kiss, and said, 'Here you go, Love.'

That slut wasn't even worth a second glance. She tried again later when you were dancing with Ann but I don't think you even noticed her."

She stopped talking for a few moments, obviously collecting her thoughts.

"I mean, come on. That's what women read about in those corny romance novels. That's what every woman tells her best friend when they discuss the type of man they want. Everything else is garnish. Height? Money? Success? Cock size? Stamina? All irrelevant when you find that man who treats you like you're the only girl in the world."

We sat there in silence for a few minutes, both trying to grasp the consequences of what Trisha had just told me.

"So when you told me this morning you dreamed of 'that guy we had talked about'..."

She smiled weakly, "Yes, I dreamed of you."

"I'm really confused right now. You don't know but when I woke up, we were laying together, spooning. I had a hand on your breast and a raging hard-on."

She laughed.

"Of course, I knew. Who do you think initiated that position? I knew you were about to tell me that you wanted to go back to work and if all else failed I wanted to at least once have been held by you all night long. If you had slept just one minute longer, I would have reached my peak only from feeling your hard cock in the crack of my ass."

"I was jealous when you said you dreamed of that guy."

Her eyes shot wide open and she turned her face towards me, "Jealous? That would mean..."

I hadn't thought about it so far but yes. That's probably what it meant.

"I'm not sure if it's love but after everything you have done for me, I'd be a horrible human being if I didn't at the very least have strong feelings for you."

"Would you hold me tight if I sat on your lap right now?"

"I'd hold you tight if you tried to run from me right now."

It wasn't really comfortable when she launched herself at me and grabbed me sideways, burying her face in my chest. We sat in that position in comfortable silence for a long time.

"Would you take me to bed?"

I felt a dark cloud move over me. That was something I hadn't thought about so far. Intimacy? I wasn't ready for that yet.

"I'm sorry but I can't. It's too early for me and I'm still far too confused about the whole situation," I replied but not letting up on our embrace in the slightest, hoping to convey to her that I didn't reject her but only asked for more time.

I felt her enforce her hug, interpreting this as comprehension.

"I'm sorry. I'm a couple of years ahead of you. Take all the time you need, I'll be here waiting for you."

We spent the rest of the afternoon cuddling on the couch until it was time for dinner. We went to the kitchen together and prepared a plate of pasta and a side salad each. When I commented on the uneven distribution she just smiled.

"You still need to put on some more weight but I don't. That's why you get a pasta with a side salad and I take a salad with some pasta on the side."

"It's not as if you need to diet. You have a great figure. And you know that."

"True. And I want to keep it that way. But thanks for the compliment."

Over dinner, we discussed the future. I would start working again. When I did so, there was no reason for her to not do the same. I invited her to officially move in with me. My logical argument was to pool our resources, the real reason which I didn't even try to hide from her, was to keep her close but we kept separate bedrooms for the time being.

I started working part-time, under very close supervision by the entire staff but they soon came to the conclusion that I really was over the worst of it. They enquired about Trisha and I replied quoting a Facebook relationship status. It's complicated. Some of my co-workers noticed that the word 'relationship' was in there.

After four weeks of part-time, I increased my work time to normal again. Physically, I was almost back to where I was a year ago, even though I was still missing a bit of strength. After consulting my doctor and asking Trisha about her preferences I bought some equipment and we converted one of the smaller unused bedrooms to a workout room. Trisha and I moved steadily along with our relationship. We had moved from cuddling to kissing to making out on the couch. Trisha was very attentive and alert. She never pressed me for anything but as soon as I took a small step, she mirrored it. When I started to stroke her back during the cuddling, she mirrored it. When I started kissing her lips, she replied instantly but didn't attempt to lure my tongue out until I initiated that step. She made sure her breasts were within reach for me to feel up but never actively demanded my attention to them. On the last weekend before I started working full time again, I invited her to move into my bedroom. I didn't think about intercourse but admitted that I would appreciate her being there. It took Trisha five full minutes to move her stuff over to the Master bedroom.

We had finished our nightly preparations by washing up a little and brushing our teeth and I dressed in the boxers I had gotten used to during my recovery. Trisha came into the bathroom wearing a translucent nothing, giving me a clear view of her dark and erect nipples which contrasted so beautifully with her skin. Her sex was equally visible and it didn't escape my notice that she was well trimmed but not totally bare. She knew the path my eyes would take when she came into the bathroom and was grinning widely when I finally managed to force my eyes up to her face.

I was sure she was aware of the spectacle she provided as she bent over to rinse her mouth and her nighty, already short when she stood upright, rode up and revealed a glistening pussy lodged between two wonderfully full but crisp butt cheeks. I understood then that inviting her to my bed and thinking we might not make love was ridiculous. She had shown great patience and respect for my feelings but this was where she drew the line. Or rather didn't let a line be drawn.

I was in bed first. I didn't even try to put up a resistance when she slid under the covers and directly connected her lips with mine. We teasingly kissed, savouring each other's freshly cleaned lips and mouths, lying on the sides. After a few minutes of wonderful build-up, she pushed lightly to turn me on my back, pushed my boxers down far enough to have them out of the way and slid on top of me removing her nighty with one fluid motion before reconnecting to my lips.

Without saying a single word or breaking our kisses, she grabbed my erection, placed it at the entrance of her hot and wet folds and impaled herself, letting out a loud, affirmative groan. She took my hands in hers and placed them on the pillow either side of my head and started to slowly ride me, not giving me a chance to speak or comment by keeping the kissing going.

I was totally out of my depth as I had always enjoyed going through a long and thorough foreplay with Ann or the few girls I had been with before, making sure they would reach at least one orgasm before I entered them. It didn't take long until I found myself fighting my impending release, but I was determined not to leave Trisha unsatisfied. I knew I wouldn't last much longer and my groans showed that when she dropped down on me hard and her entire body started shaking vigorously. The vibrations broke the last of my self-control and I let go and let myself fall over the edge, releasing several months of built-up energy deep into the womb of my new lover.

I recovered first and resumed kissing the lips and the face of Trisha while she still shuddered through a few small aftershocks of her own climax. She soon joined me in the exchange of endearments.

"I understand you well enough to know that you wouldn't have made that first move and I've really tried to give you all the time you need but I couldn't hold back anymore. I hope I didn't overwhelm you."

I took her face in my hands and moved her so I could look into her eyes, "You've been wonderful. You are wonderful. I'm grateful for your patience and your insistence today."

She turned her head to get out of my grasp and came down to kiss me softly.

With a small chuckle, I added, "I was expecting a bit more foreplay, though. I almost failed to wait for you in the end."

She answered with a laugh, "I had a month's worth of foreplay. Today was about fulfilment, not satisfaction. For me, the climax was optional, the connecting was mandatory. I know we're still not on the same level in our relationship but I've been hoping and waiting for this for almost five years now. I know you can't reply to it in kind and it really doesn't matter to me right now but I love you, Tom. I've loved you for years and I've felt horrible and guilty for loving the husband of one of my closest friends. But today I feel great. I haven't stolen you from her, I haven't hurt her by trying to take you from her but I have followed in her footsteps. I know she would appreciate our relationship. Because she would want you to be happy and I intend to make sure you are."

She slid her arms under my shoulders and laid her head on my chest, sighing contently. I lay under her, thinking. One thing I thought about was that we had just had unprotected sex. While I wasn't worried about STDs, I was concerned about the possibility of a pregnancy but didn't want to spoil the moment. I would bring that topic up in the morning. The other thing I thought about was love.

I knew for sure that I didn't love Trisha the way I had loved Ann but I had deep feelings for her. Not because she had nurtured me back to life, not because she had been a doting and committed nurse, not because she had given me a kick up the ass when I had needed one, but because she had cared enough to do all these things. And because she had been a good friend to Ann and me since she had come into our lives almost five years ago.

April 2016

It had taken me roughly half a year to come to terms with my feelings for Trisha and the sense of guilt for finding a new lover, only a year after the one big love of my life had died. I had followed the logic that Trisha had outlined the day she had started my rehab. Ann would have wanted me to be happy and Trisha was a source of happiness. Ann would also have wanted Trisha to be happy. So why not kill two birds with one stone?

Another half a year later, Trisha had brought up the topic of children. That was a critical time in our relationship because not only had Ann died carrying my child but my mother had died giving birth to me. We discussed the topic for several weeks, sometimes calm, sometimes heated. In the end, I caved in.

"Ok. You're right. I agree. You want a child and if I'm honest so do I. But I'm scared, so I have two conditions and they are both non-negotiable."

She threw herself around my neck and kissed me.

"Don't celebrate before you know the conditions."

"I agree with them."

I raised my eyebrows.

"One. When, or maybe if, you get pregnant, you will be under surveillance twenty-four seven. The day you find out that you're pregnant you will tell me and we'll hire a nursing service to watch over you."

Her mouth dropped open.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

She shook her head.

"That's crazy."

"I've already lost three women due to complications during pregnancy and birth, my mother, Ann and our daughter. I will not lose a fourth."

She looked into my eyes and must have seen my resolve because she nodded, "Ok. If this is what it takes to put you at ease, then so be it. What is the second condition?"

I looked at her for at least a minute, unblinking, not saying anything until she started to fidget on the couch. Then, right before I lost my cool and started laughing, I slid off the couch, onto a knee and looked back at her, smiling.

"Marry me. We will not raise an illegitimate child."

February 2017 (again)

"... until death do you part?"

"Yes. I do."

"Then I hereby declare you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

I leant over and took her face in my hands and kissed her. Not a tonsil-cleaning kiss but a kiss into which I put all the love I felt for this woman that had saved my life. Silently, I spoke another vow. I would make sure that she never felt as a substitute or a lesser copy of Ann. I would show her the same devotion, the same respect and the same love that I had shown my first wife. That was the least she deserved.

THE END