Love Note Pt. 01

It was a terrible idea.

Not protesting his solution -- well, barely protesting; watching him watch her as she wove her long twists into a thick plait that fell over her shoulder; climbing into the bed once he'd drawn the covers back; staying despite the thudding of her heart once he'd killed all lights but one lamp and climbed in beside her...

Moving to the far end of the bed -- but then letting him draw her back towards him.

All parts of the worst idea ever.

"Two things," he murmured behind her once the room was dark. "One: I've never crossed this line with a colleague before -- in case you were wondering -- I want you to know that; and two: no games, no expectations. I was really shitty to you when we met -- and you've proven me wrong ever since. I only want to make up for my initial madness, so we can get back to work on better terms. I don't expect this weekend to lead to anything neither of us wants."

He was warm behind her, but not really touching her.

"I'm never going to fall asleep like this..."

Leo shifted. "Of course you will."

He pushed her gently, encouraging her to roll onto her stomach. Then Ana felt his fingers lightly trail along her back. Free-flowing back tickles.

"I always reminisce in winter

With the rise of the first flame

At dusk, alone, I miss her

Midnight is her name..."

Ana's brow furrowed. "What is that?"

"One of my songs." He leaned closer. "My plan is to bore you to sleep."

She laughed softly, her pillow cushioning the sound.

It wasn't Leo's fault that she felt... something... that often made her hairs rise around him. The kiss had been a moment of madness, as he'd said -- the rest of their relationship didn't have to be. It didn't have to be anything neither of them wanted. She would be home suffering alone if it weren't for this genuinely good man with the surprisingly poignant lyrics.

Ana hugged her pillow and dared to close her eyes. With a faint curl of her lips she noted his fingers resuming their journey all over her back, and focused on the soft touch.

"She has a home now

She has a life safe from harm

But I didn't build it, I'm not in it

She's not in my arms..."

***

Before her eyes opened and before even her mind could stretch and awaken, Ana's body woke to Leo tickling her back. At first she thought him still here, but soon realised it was merely a memory, one too vivid for her own good.

She was alone in his bed, the plush duvet on the floor and the pale sheets tangled around her. The room was still rather dark, but she could make out the expensive furniture, hints of morning light... and the bottle of argan oil on the bedside table.

Remembering the foot massage had her wondering about his personal life. Thandi had stressed that he was a very private man, but surely there should have been evidence of a woman by now? If he had one.

And if he didn't, why didn't he?

She looked around the spacious room.

Lord knew the man wasn't easy to understand -- and definitely no pushover. Stubborn, stern and intense were words that readily came to mind... But he was also beautiful in the most unconventional of ways.

So, why did he spend a night with her instead of rubbing some fair-skinned nymph's feet last night?

She immediately got out of bed on a quest to pursue easier answers.

Where was he? What did the rest of this stunning house look like? Why were her clothes still missing?

Leo was in the kitchen, glasses and slippers added to the outfit from the night before. "Hey, snoozer. Breakfast is nearly ready."

"Why is it so bright down here?" she squinted irritably.

"That is called the sun, oh, feisty one. And it always looks like that at 10:30."

He calmly continued chopping up fruit through her exclamation.

"We were meant to be in studio two hours ago, Leo!" She wasn't even wearing shoes. "The weekend is the only time we can really push day and night."

He arranged cubes of mango, pear, kiwi and strawberry in the bowl and added blueberries on top. After leading her to one of the tall stools at the counter, he placed the bowl in front of her.

"How are you feeling?" He asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee and pulled the newspaper closer.

Ana gaped at him.

When he saw the flames in her eyes, he sighed. "I called everyone and told them Thandi had called to let me know you weren't well, that you'd spend a day or two in bed and see the doctor if you still feel the same on Monday. I had to go through your phone for the numbers -- hope you don't mind."

"That doesn't matter nearly as much as wasting a weekend when we have so little time left to finish producing this music so everything can be rehearsed in time."

"You need to take it easy, d'you know that?" He sipped his coffee. "And this isn't me talking -- it's your body, the one that might put you through worse if you don't figure out some sort of balance."

Ana pulled back at that.

"Now. You still haven't told me how you're feeling."

"Still a little discombobulated... but good," she admitted. "Thank you for being there when even I wasn't."

"You're welcome." He glanced at her, he eyes tracing the shape of her in his clothes. "If we take good care of you now, you'll be far more useful for the of the project's duration. We've had a good week, Anaïs -- good enough to start rehearsals on time. The guys and I will put in a few more nights next week to finish the last of the backtracks."

"With me."

He thought about that. "Yes. With you. Everything will be fine. Now finish your breakfast."

Ana sat and ate in silence. The fruit -- definitely not what she would have chosen -- was delicious, juicy and sweet. She eyed her silent companion as he read the paper.

The glasses were black and the thick frame had a bold, rectangular cut. Those along with his hair now tumbling across his forehead and dark, dark stubble gave him a look that swept all sense from her mind. She watched his lips as he sipped his coffee and his eyes as he read.

It was mesmerising how fully he gave his attention to all that he did.

He spoke suddenly, startling her, though his gaze remained on the paper. "Your clothes are in the wash and your phone is off. It's a lovely morning if you'd like to spend some time in the garden. I do, however expect you back in bed, resting, before lunch."

Ana made a face at him, but she didn't argue.

Leo smiled into his mug.

"Can I at least have some coffee if I am seriously to forgo my chocolate milk?"

He poured her a glass of water and slid small white bottles towards her. "Supplements -- take one of each... and this is a mild painkiller. Finish your water with those and I'll gladly make you some coffee."

Ana downed the glass without hesitation.

***

After her shower her clothes weren't ready yet, so Leo handed her another t-shirt and a pair of shorts that reached past her knees. Ana grimaced, but the outfit was a small price to pay for some sunshine. Besides, it wasn't as if her own clothes were haute couture.

Leo surprised her by following her out the front door.

She knew that he'd arranged for her to take the day off, but hadn't expected him to spend the entire time with her. She'd thought he'd ignore her for the most part and do... his stuff... whenever she didn't need him.

Instead he was strolling by her side in what he had (laughably now, she realised) called the "garden". The estate was more the size of a small suburb. Houses in various beautiful designs stood tucked along the foot of the hill and across the lower planes on the other side of the lake. The water itself was surrounded by neat lawns which were in turn encircled by majestic trees that separated the park from the roads leading into each residential section.

Leo pointed out the private schools in the distance and told her about the restaurants and other amenities. Enormous organic nurseries and a horse-riding school were set up too far for her to see from his house. It was a sublime slice of heaven, right in the city. Ana didn't even want to know what it cost to live there.

When Leo took her hand and led her down toward the water, she was glad to have him there. Partly because she was getting more out of a guided tour than she would have getting lost on her own; but mainly because it was disconcerting coming across a few of the other residents and having to steel herself against their curious double-takes and occasional blatant stares.

Of course it didn't help that Leo's grip on her hand tightened when she tried to tug free.

They sat on a bench near the water and talked. Ana couldn't remember the last time she'd just let herself just be like that.

It had to be the way that he quietly told her silly and significant things about himself that eventually had her talking about the death of her father when she was fifteen. She didn't speak about her father anymore -- because his death had torn her apart... and what she learned after had crushed her. So, it was strange to say his name with genuine neutrality for the first time.

Leo's attention was on her twists, his fingers loosening the plait she had woven the night before. "You two were close."

It wasn't a question, but she nodded anyway. "I'm an only child and he doted on me. My mom and I were the centre of his world. When he died I just couldn't see how the earth could continue rotating and revolving... how days and life would go on."

"Not many get to have a relationship like that with their fathers."

"I should hope not," she said wearily. "A few years later, right after my eighteenth birthday, I found out the truth. He'd been cheating on my mom for years. She'd put on an act the whole time, faking happiness so I could grow up happy."

His fingers never left her hair. Maybe that was why she couldn't resurrect the anger she was so accustomed to when thinking of Andile Kem.

"Ag, it's all done now," she concluded, "and I got to learn some valuable lessons along the way about secrets and trust --"

"And love?"

She didn't answer.

So, he spoke some more. About himself.

It was relaxing listening to Leo who was so comfortable with his own background and story. Tales of struggle and strength from his mother's side of the family; and ones of passion and humour from the Greeks on his father's side.

"Greek -- that makes sense," she said. "Boreas."

"Not many pick that up," he smiled.

"Well, it isn't a common Greek surname, is it?"

"It isn't," he conceded. "We're not quite sure how we ended up with a deity's name, but here we are... Impressive, Anaïs."

She shrugged. "I like mythology."

"And passionate writings?" He leaned in, his arm behind her. "I don't know why you insist on calling yourself Ana when you embody your namesake's fire so perfectly."

Ana shook her head. "Nah, not me. I'm nothing like her."

"Please understand," he quoted, "that I am in full rebellion against my own mind, that when I live, I live by impulse, by emotion, by white heat."

Ana stilled. When she turned to him, his expression was unwavering, his golden gaze direct.

"She wrote that, you know." He ran his fingers through the tips of her hair, making her shiver. "You've been nothing but passion, emotion and heat since I met you, Anaïs."

She'd never seen herself that way.

She'd been told she was stubborn, aggressive, difficult... hard, flawed, different...

But passionate? Fierce? She'd never been taught to see herself like that.

"I don't... fit in." She frowned thoughtfully. "Not that I want to -- it's just had to miss how different I am."

"Anaïs Nin didn't either," he murmured. "In fact, she said if she hadn't created a world of her own, she would have died in the worlds of others. Hate to break it to you, but that's true for everyone. What makes you different is most people are too scared to show themselves."

She would not let Leo make her believe the fire in her was beautiful in any way. She was quiet all the way back to the house. And he let her be.

As promised -- threatened? -- he tucked her back into bed upon their return. Then surprised her by bringing her a few books to read, Henry & June at the top of the pile. She finished both the juice and water he brought her as she read.

When she fell asleep, she noticed neither the book that slipped to her lap nor the man who stopped to watch her slumber after he'd retrieved it.

***

Lunch was chicken broth in the lounge. According to Leo, one supremely miffed restaurant manager, chef and waiter had all assisted him with packaging the meal after he'd insisted for twenty minutes straight that he deserved a once-off takeaway policy. Ana shook her head admonishingly.

But she couldn't be mad at him, not really. Not after the trouble he'd gone through to make her comfortable on the couch with pillows and a comforter from one of the guestrooms. He flicked through the tv channels until her breath caught at the sight of Perfume -- then surprised her yet again by joining her.

Afterwards they argued about chocolate milk and cigarettes. If "arguing" could be defined as her threatening darkly... and Leo ignoring her.

In the afternoon her headache threatened to split her skull in two.

Leo brought her stronger painkillers and stood over her until she finished her water and juice. Then he ordered her to stretch out on the couch and began massaging her head, neck and shoulders. She might have moaned a few times.

Again, he talked while she listened. His hands never stilled and slowly the pain was beaten back. She was sound asleep within an hour.

At one stage she surfaced briefly and saw him as she was rolling over. He was sitting in an armchair, his feet on the coffee table. His glasses were on again and he was tapping away at the Mac on his lap. She wanted to apologise for being in the way while he had so much to do, but sleep reclaimed her before her tongue could wake.

The sky was filled with champagne and flames by the time she was done napping.

They watched the rest of the sunset together out on the patio, sipping coffee. Leo's phone rang, but he made no move to answer it.

By the time he asked her what she wanted for supper, Ana knew she would be spending another night at Leo's. Upon arriving, all she'd thought about was leaving. But somewhere along the way she'd come to appreciate and really accept all Leo was offering. Not just because she was worn out and needed the attention. But, rather pathetically, because she'd never let any man take care of her before... and was finding that she quite liked letting go a little and letting someone else be strong for her.

Fresh pyjamas awaited her on the bed by the time she stepped out of the bath.

Again Leo sat with her at the counter as they shared a meal. He told her more about Anaïs Nin when she demurely asked about the writer. Sensing her restlessness, he wrapped her in an oversized robe and took her for a walk through the violet night gardens. Went past the park and all the way to the gym and beauty spa. When she felt tired enough to sleep, he held her hand and led her to bed as he had the night before.

In the bed, he tucked her head on his shoulder then waited to see if she would protest. She didn't. So, he tickled her back again with one hand, reciting song lyrics until she drifted off.

*** IV ***

Ana slept late again. And this time woke to an empty house.

Her body was already so much better, stretching gratefully in the morning sun. She lined up bacon, coffee and a muffin -- but then pondered her choices guiltily. Birds out on the window sill cheered on her conscience.

With a huff she retrieved a bowl instead and diced up some papaya. After adding some Greek yoghurt to it, she snuggled on the couch and watched a chirpy woman cook all the things she'd love to feast on. Well -- maybe not pork sausages baked in grapes...

When it seemed her loneliness would stretch on indefinitely, she raided Leo's closet. Dressed in fresh shorts and a vest, she took a deep breath and ventured out the door. She headed in what she hoped was the direction of the stables, but found herself at a small complex of shops an hour later instead. The bookshop was closed, but the coffee shop and bakery made her stare wistfully.

"They have wonderful quiches."

Ana nearly jumped out of her skin.

Two blonde girls were smiling enquiringly at her. They wore tennis outfits and carried brown paper packets with the bakery's logo on them.

"Sorry, my sneaky ninja sister didn't mean to startle you." The taller one held out her hand. "I'm Mandi and this is Nicki. We're your neighbours -- sort of. We live in the same section, just a few streets down."

"Ana." She shook hands warily. "How do you know where I... am from?"

"Your clothes," Mandi grinned. "Ninja-stalker over here wants to marry Leo and have his babies. Apparently the first step to getting there is memorising his entire wardrobe... amongst many other creepy practices."

"I'm not creepy!" Nicki's was outrage wrapped in an apology.

"Yeah, well -- how much you wanna bet Ana didn't have to stalk him in order to get him?"

Ana couldn't believe what was happening. The day before she'd eyed everyone with caution, thinking they'd attack or at the very least run her off the property if they found her alone. Now, instead of being treated like a trespasser, two sweet girls were actually making her laugh. In the middle of horrifying her.

"Oh, I don't have him at all," she corrected emphatically.

Both girls stopped squabbling to eye her with the suspicion she'd initially expected. Ana laughed at their matching expressions.

"You're telling you me the man who never has anyone over just did God-knows-what to you for days and has you wearing his clothes all because, what? You're such swell buddies?"

"We're colleagues."

Mandi giggled. "You're such a terrible liar. Obviously you two are into each other -- we saw you over by the lake."

"No, really. We've been working too hard and I eventually got sick." Ana's hands, unaccustomed to anxious gesticulation, floundered through her earnest argument. "He just felt bad and brought me here because I don't know anyone else. Nicki can still, er, have his babies..."

They weighed up her story.

Finally Nicki spoke. "Well, you should try out those quiches sometime. Probably not while you're... sick. Want a lift back? We're supposed to be on a breakfast run for the family and they must be starving by now."

What the hell. Ana got into their deluxe cart with them. After the heat of her walk it was nice to feel the wind lift her hair as Mandi drove.

She turned to her. "You don't believe me, do you?"

"I'm not saying I don't," Mandi grinned. "I'm just saying this: if that man releases any new love songs, I know exactly which face will come to mind."

Nicki giggled in the back.

"Not yours, Creepy Spice."

Ana laughed. It felt good.

The rest of the day was peaceful. Leo came back with lunch and shook his head when she mentioned the blonde neighbours. What interested him more was hearing about her walk and noting the happiness in her eyes. He drove her over to the stables before sunset where she got to meet the instructors and a couple of the horses.

There was curiosity in everyone's faces, but no one asked awkward questions or mentioned her attire.

Afterwards they picked up supper at one of the restaurants that allowed takeaway and enjoyed the vegetable wraps down by the lake. Leo told her about his morning. Her breath stilled as he spoke about an argument with an annoying distributor -- not because of the disagreement, but because she found she liked having him lean on her a little by confiding in her.