Love Note Pt. 01

Ana sipped her juice, ruminant.

That night she asked him about the years after he retired. He skimmed over his reasons and that time in a way that told her how serious a transition that had really been. Leo had parts of himself he couldn't share yet. She understood that. So, she asked him about the six month before his return instead.

He had his arms around her -- no tickling tonight. And the whole experience felt far more weighted with meaning. He spoke about his family in the Western Cape and his trips out of the country. As sleep snuck in she imagined that his tone and the gentle breeze outside were one and the same.

And she imagined more. Imagined that when she grew too tired to talk, he whispered her name a few times... then leaned in and inhaled the scent of her before drawing her closer and drifting off.

***

Monday morning felt different.

Or Anaïs did. In a way.

She woke to find her clothes neatly folded on the ottoman at the foot of the bed. The silence of the house was soon broken by the front door opening downstairs.

She made no comment upon finding Leo on his way upstairs, back from the residential gym. Seeing the new definition in his arms and the brilliance in his eyes made her feel many things, but she didn't want to ruin the simple camaraderie he'd worked so hard to cultivate all weekend. So, she said nothing.

He passed her with a smile and his scent left her reeling.

For the next ten minutes she sat curled up on one of the bedroom armchairs, listening to the shower run and Leo adlibbing a deep, smooth version of a Musiq Soulchild song. His singing... His recorded music was beautiful, even she had to admit that -- but listening to his voice live was so special it shook her.

She hurried out as soon as the shower stopped.

Breakfast was her treat -- omelettes that made him grin at her until she self-consciously thumped him on the arm and walked away. She was feeling a little vulnerable and sensitive after hearing him sing; and deflated at being back in her own clothes and on the verge of leaving the little bubble they'd created.

All the more reason to get the hell out of there.

Leo drove her back to the office to pick up the car. It was just after dawn, quiet and unrushed as dawn tended to be -- and Ana didn't know what to say to the man beside her.

In the office's basement parking lot, he walked her to the car -- then stopped her before she could get in.

His lips met hers gently. "Thank you for this weekend, Anaïs."

"I, er..." Her surprise slowed her brain. "You did so much for me -- I should be thanking you."

His lips met hers again and this time it was no platonic peck.

It was strange that she remembered his taste so well. The moment his tongue met hers, something at her core tightened then slowly uncurled and blossomed. They had only known each other a week, but there was something in the kisses they shared that was timeless. She recognised his heat and the feel of his hands on her hips.

She moaned when he started drawing back and pulled him closer to her.

The weight of his body pressed her to the car, her tightening nipples crushed against his chest. His hips pushed into her, fitting against her; his hands traversed the curve of her arse, pulling her to him... and she gasped at the excruciating intimacy of the contact.

She'd stopped him from pulling away. She'd asked for him and now he was giving her everything.

Her arms locked around his neck when she felt him lift her. Being at eye level with him almost felt a little too high, a little too dangerous. All the while, through the hush of desperate breaths and this unexpected blaze, Ana was aware of the deliberate rocking of his hips. He held her to him and watched her as he pushed up into the apex of her thighs. He made her hate their clothing and fear her need for him. Because he was getting her to confess her desire with undulating thrusts of her own.

His erection felt fit to cut through his pants and fill her. And though she wanted him to, she wasn't sure she could handle all that came with that. She'd be a fool not to acknowledge that this man was nothing like the ones she'd slept with in the past.

This one...

Leo saw something in the way that she looked at him that made him plunder her mouth with his tongue. He was trying to convey something to her... or seeking something... she wasn't sure. She just knew that they were locked in a significant storm. She just knew that she wanted him to remember her shape and... her fire.

She put everything good and beautiful that she had ever been into that kiss... and gave it all to him. He made her believe that she could. Slowly, deeply.

And then it was over.

He pulled back and this time she let him. He slowly eased her down to her feet and leaned his palms on either side of her against the roof of the car. Ana used her fingers to comb back his hair, watching it tumble forward again.

When she moved to step out of the circle of his arms, he let her. One hand on the driver's door, she turned back to him, looking for a way to explain that this would be their last kiss. Because of work, but also because she didn't want to feel things.

Especially things that could go nowhere.

He read her eyes and quickly stepped forward to speak before she could. His words never formed, however, as the sound of the boom mechanism at the entrance disrupted their spell. A car entered, but headed to a different section of the lot without its lights ever reaching them.

Ana opened the car door, got in and drove off.

Leo let her.

***

Ana sat at the kitchen table. Condensation gathered on the open bottle of chocolate milk in front of her. Next to it was a new pack of smokes.

She put all her focus into combatting the silence around her, tapping aggressively at her phone's screen and glowering when her efforts produced no sound at all. According to Thandi's email that morning, Ana had two more days of muted reflection to look forward to. Two more days of pastel walls, questions and yearnings.

"Bloody hell..."

She got up and went to open the fridge for the fifth time. The cottage cheese remained unfazed, stubbornly refusing to transform into something she might want to eat. The lemon beside it watched on in pinched approval.

She slammed the door shut.

Her skin felt hyper-sensitive, and not in any understandable way. No matter what she concentrated on, she could feel Leo pressed against her. Her phone beeped a few times, messages popping up in response to the ones she'd sent. The cheerful pinging was almost a nice distraction -- but it also stopped too soon, as if it wanted only to remind her of how truly alone and silent she was.

And that was the problem.

Thandi's apartment had never bothered her before because it was simply an apartment. It was beautiful and sturdy and untroubled. It was peaceful.

She was the one who was different. Restless in her aloneness.

Unfinished.

More beeps, just in time to cut off her urge to curse.

She picked up her phone and checked the messages. At least the good news was that the whole band had 'punched in' at the office and would manage without her for the day. She trusted Eric to keep everyone in line. The drive that he and Leo displayed almost had her feeling sorry for this new crew on their first day of practice.

Will sent a meme that made her smile, wishing her a speedy recovery. She felt bad for lying, but chose that over admitting she was much better. She wasn't ready to be near Leo again, not with her heart tripping and her skin this hot.

The trees outside rustled. Damn tomb of a building.

She marched resolutely to the bathroom, unbuttoning her pants as she went.

The shower helped massage the heat in her skin all the way into her flesh. Ana couldn't decide if this was a good thing. Her bun, tucked into a cap, left her neck bare and the water pelting the back of her neck felt wonderful for a minute. But then in the next minute, the hushed patter had her remembering what it felt like to have Leo's heat behind her as he whispered lyrical spells into her ear in perfect darkness...

There was a new message on her phone when she padded back into the kitchen, refreshed but still restless.

Leo.

If you really aren't feeling well yet, you should have told me. If, however, this is all just a ruse to avoid me, you needn't worry: I'll be home all morning then in Fourways all afternoon. Do what you want.

Ana bit her lip. The restlessness was humming through her bones, making the heat on her skin ripple. She looked around but no answers appeared; no company but the rustling of the tall trees.

Do what you want.

She marched into the bedroom and didn't stop moving until she was dressed in jeans, a strappy vest and black pumps that sported a pattern made up of little white bones. She grabbed her tote bag then was halted by the glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her skin seemed to glow and there was a proud straightness to her spine. It was her own eyes that had made her stop, though. There was fire in them.

"... I live by impulse, by emotion, by white heat."

She left without a second thought.

***

"Ungangena, sisi."

It was her third time in a week stopping at these gates and the guard with the neat goatee was now a familiar face. No doubt his smile meant he recognised her too, but that did not make sense of his words.

Ana cocked her head. "Are you sure? I've already dropped in unannounced once before and... got into trouble."

"Very sure," the young man nodded confidently. "Mr Boreas cleared you to come and go as you please. We won't need to call up to the house or escort you. Go on in."

As if in agreement with him, the gates slowly slid open. Ana tightened her grip on the steering wheel as she drove in.

Why would Leo leave special permission for her to come and go as she wanted? Had he known she'd be back? Was he really that cocky about his effect on her?

It took ten minutes to reach his cul-de-sac and drive up to his house -- nowhere near enough time to figure out the man's motives. Not surprising considering she could barely read her own. Grim humour twisted her lips as she parked in the empty carport.

Soft music was playing inside. This she only heard when she reached the door and knocked.

Her hair was still up, a realisation far too late to help -- so she settled for quiet cursing. It only served to show how good she was at what she was about to do. The last thing she wanted was to arrive looking like a schoolmarm, but what were her options beyond that, really? Inked renegade? It's not like she was anywhere near being the nothing-but-a-trenchcoat-and-heels kind of woman who just --

Leo wasn't wearing a shirt when he answered the door. Again.

His feet were also bare and he held a sheaf of papers in his hand. Dark, dark locks tumbled forward, touching at his glasses. He seemed inordinately surprised to see her -- so much so, Ana started wondering if the guard at the gate hadn't been mistaken after all.

"What?" she demanded when a minute passed without a word from him.

He blinked then straightened to his full height. "You, uh... Hi."

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You're not wearing your usual makeup."

She instinctively touched her fingertips to her lips. "Shit..."

"No, not shit -- not shit at all actually." A tilt of the corner of his mouth. "I was kind of preparing myself for distance and platonic professionalism -- and the reconstruction of your walls."

She held his gaze. "Why did you tell the guards --?"

"Because you're welcome here. Always. In whatever ways."

She couldn't face that any longer. She turned and swept her eyes across the sunlit estate. Puffy clouds hovered in the distance. The breeze had followed her all the way here, was still whispering to her... but had done nothing to cool her fervour.

Honesty. Be honest.

She turned back to him. "I don't want 'always', Leo. And definitely not all ways."

There it was: gold flowing into his narrowed gaze. He turned and headed into the lounge, leaving her standing in the open doorway. Ana sighed, stepping over the threshold.

More papers were piled on the couches and his laptop was on. Ana felt bad for interrupting his work -- only to reject his blatant vulnerability.

"I'm sorry..."

"Bullshit."

Her hands shot to her hips. "Excuse me?"

So much for vulnerability.

"Bull. Shit," he repeated with surprisingly casual humour. "I don't believe you don't want any of this."

Oh. She took in the width of his shoulders, remembered snuggling in his arms and forgetting her pain.

"I don't do relationships, Leo." She spoke softly. "I tried once and it... didn't work. But that's okay -- I'm just not a forever-girl."

He tossed his papers on top of one of the haphazard piles. His glasses followed seconds after. Ana had expected an arrogant comeback, some kind of challenging dare. So, it surprised her to see him weigh up her words seriously.

A moment later he pinned her to the spot with his lion's gaze and one simple question. "Then why are you here?"

She still had time. She could fabricate something about work then step out into the sunshine and drive off. She could go back home and drink the fucking chocolate milk she'd left on the kitchen table. She could put her makeup on.

He was watching her, reading her mind.

She knew he'd sensed the words before she said them, but she said them anyway. "Because I do want you. I want you, Leo, and I don't know how else to stop this."

Her feet left the floor before she could steady herself.

"I've got you."

And he did have her.

Leo locked his arms around Ana's waist until her legs had no choice but to wrap around his. He looked into her eyes as he walked, carried her upstairs without ever breaking eye contact.

She hadn't been celibate all year, far from it. She'd fucked a guy or three and it had been fun -- when they weren't annoying. But what Leo's eyes were saying now looked forebodingly like a promise to make love to her -- and that was different. She lowered her gaze.

He wasn't having that, though.

"Hey." His fingers gripped the knot atop her head and he pulled until her neck strained back and she was forced to look into his eyes again. "Stay here. I expect you to stay connected for every second of this."

His bed was neatly made, everything else in its place.

Ana tightened her arms around Leo's neck at being in that familiarly intimate space. The music was still playing downstairs, faintly seeping through the walls. A man was singing soft promises in Spanish.

Ana was naked.

Leo had slowly removed her clothing and made her watch him do it. The only time he'd broken eye contact was when she undid the knot of twists and her breasts lifted with the movement of her arms.

There was something to be said for looking absolutely nothing like the girls in the music videos. She'd long ago quit even hoping to match them in any way. The best part of that was that she was freer than most women she knew. She didn't use her looks to get special treatment or ever assume any man would be arrested by the sight of her nudity.

Until now; until she got to live exactly that.

The heat in Leo's gaze agitated the sizzling along her skin. He was looking at her as if he'd never seen a woman before. And his touch, when he cupped her full breasts, spoke the same.

"Since the day we met this is all I've been able to think about -- seeing you, all of you." His eyes were on her thighs, her navel, then back on her breasts. "You've been tormenting me, beautiful."

Ana's nipples tightened instantly. "I wasn't trying to..."

"You didn't have to try." He ran his thumbs over her eager nipples. "I've never seen anyone stand out as much as you do while trying to hide in plain sight. You don't even realise how remarkable you are, do you?"

Was she meant to speak? And say what? With his lips at her earlobe and his words mesmerising her, was she really expected to maintain coherence?

"You will always be impossible to miss, Anaïs." His teeth grazed her earlobe. "For as long as you walk and move the way you do, men will wonder about your hips and skin -- no matter how practical you think your jeans or how baggy you believe your tees are. Each day you've arrived with smoke around your eyes and berries on your lips, I have gone through fucking hell trying to concentrate on work -- instead of constantly thinking about your kisses and the fire in your eyes."

Her head dropped back as she succumbed to his words. "I'm not like other women."

"That's exactly my point, sweetheart."

She was used to furtive fumbling and dark beds. Standing before the most beautiful man she'd ever met and letting him study her flesh was unnerving. Letting him say things to her that made her yearn for his words to be true... that was ripping the very seams of her reality. She was telling him, showing him, who she really was. And he was agreeing -- but in a way that made her wonder if she was beautiful.

He wasn't even naked yet.

The tip of one finger lowered and touched the tip of her biggest tattoo -- just inside her hipbone. From there he traced the flock of birds -- some whole, some partial, all uniting to form swarms of music notes -- up the edge of her tummy, around her waist and up to her shoulder blade. From behind her he reached forward to cup her breasts again as he put his lips to that first note right at the top.

She didn't think much of the repeated paths he kissed up and down that tattoo. Mainly because she could barely think. The last thing she expected was that he was reading the music.

"This is from his... first ballade." The conclusion was whispered against her skin as he knelt to kiss the last of the flying notes on her pelvis for the hundredth time.

No one ever recognised the artwork for what it was.

Ana swallowed so she could speak past the lump in her throat. "Yes."

"I used to play this... a long time ago." He stood and lifted her in his arms before walking over to lay her on the bed. "I wouldn't have guessed you to be a fan of Chopin."

His hands were on her thighs, large and sure. He made her feel delicate.

"I love Chopin."

Leo smiled at her words. "You give yourself away."

"I don't know what you mean," she lied.

"This ballade... It has no exact form that one can pinpoint." His fingers raised goosebumps as they played the notes on her skin. "It plays with the idea of form, switching themes from intimacy to triumph... It doesn't simply fit in with the classical norms."

The birds were on fire now, spreading the heat of his kisses through the rest of her. Leo pinned her to the bed when she tried to roll away, when she needed some distance between them so her mind could work again.

He braced himself over her, his lips a breath from hers.

"It's been described as melodic, soft... sensitive, mesmerising..." His lips moved along her jaw and back again. "Yet it's also brilliantly majestic... It's a romantic rebel."

Ana's breathing accelerated. She knew what he was getting at but didn't say a word.

His eyes met hers. "It's you."

He saw too much.

She rose up to kneel before him, pushing him down into the position of defencelessness in her stead. Except he continued to look strong and unafraid even on his back. He continued reading her, seeing more than she would ever admit to or willingly show.

Even as she'd stripped him and wrapped both hands around his erection, he held his power. He continued to pour golden lava over her breasts and the width of her hips. He bathed her in it with his eyes, watching her touch him.