by axnt
Premise is ridiculous, no attempt to tell a story, no back story to speak of, just 'I wanted to fuck my sister, I did, I came, it was great, The End'. Absolutely no stars, ever........
as usual here we only get a third of the story no begining and no end just the middle which is way to rushed. if you had written a chapter giving background on the relationship between them before this and a chapter telling what happens after this it would be good.as is this fails big time either do it right and completly or not at all. you wasted your time, our time and the sites space. real shame it could have been a real good story if done PROPERLY.
This could have been a story for several categories. Very sweet and sensual, and erotic. Could have drawn it out a little more to increase the tension, but nicely done! More!
what no lock on the door what guy with a sister doesn't have a lock on his bedroom door and doesn't keep it locked all the time keep it believable please
good but needs a second chapter to tell what happens now that he knows about the potion and do the parents find out if so what do they say does she get pregnant fill uis in soon
There has got to be more! Please tell me this is only the beginning!!!!
Quit while you are winning
What a cute story and so very different . I do hope you continue with them .
Excellent!!! this story could have been about any two longlost lovers & still would have had passion & been wonderous! Perhaps, you should consider extending the original story into a three or more pages mini novel? Considering the sister's point of view perhaps; thus introducing a new twist to the trist?