Love Thy Enemy

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"No, I don't think you did, Bregit. Please, I really want to know what you mean. I want to understand." I said with a gentler tone of voice.

Breathing deeply, she nodded, "You are correct, Joesph. Okay, I will explain." I couldn't help but notice her compact breasts rise up, stretch her blouse slightly, as she took those deep breaths.

Beginning slowly, as if gathering her thoughts off the cuff, she said, "I am a woman, Joesph. As a woman, and I know very many women are the same, we feel our emotions differently than men. We also feel these emotions more intensely and much deeper than many men. Because of this thing, this difference, women are emotional thinkers. Men, from what I have experienced, they do not feel their emotions in the same way as women. They are not ruled as much by their emotions as women. Because of this difference, men are more logical thinkers. Does this- Do you understand what I say, Joesph?"

I nodded, "Yes. I'm with you."

A look of confusion crossed her pretty Nordic features. "Yes, you are with me. We are here, together, Joesph, but do you not understand my words?"

"Yes, we're together. But, I meant, I understand what you're saying."

Her eyes brightened with quick understanding. "Is that another American- How do you say?" Bregit's face scrunched up cutely, as she tried to remember the word she wanted. "Clo- mm..."

"Colloquialism. Yes, that phrase is just one of many of our American idioms." I explained dryly. "But, please, continue with what you're saying."

"Joesph, if a strange man were to punch you, for no reason. You would maybe hit him, too. Yes? But, would you carry a long term grievance against this stranger for hitting you one time?"

"Probably not. Once the fight was over, and I'd won, I'd eventually forget about it."

"Exactly! Even if you had not won, I think you would one day forget about it, anyway. Yes?" I shrugged my shoulders in response. Taking my non-verbal response as agreement, Bregit continued, moving her head about, slightly, as she spoke. "Many women would not. They would brood over the incident. Then, maybe one day, much later, if a woman saw the other woman, who had punched her, then she would take action. Her emotions would control her mind. In the same way, I think your wife brooded for some time, building up- those negative emotions, until they controlled her. Do you see?"

I thought I detected a imploring note in her voice. I guess she'd hoped I'd understand the rationale behind Shela's actions. Maybe I did, but that didn't change how I felt about her actions. It certainly didn't alter the decision I'd made for the basis of my own actions. I simply nodded, rather than to explain anything else of how I felt.

Encouraged by my silence, Bregit changed gears, becoming animated and gesticulating with her hands as she spoke with a growing excitement.

"Women are impulsive because of their emotions, Joesph, but they are also very- I think, the word is cunning. Women can- sulk! Yes, sulk- for a long time, begin planning, and then act when they feel the time is correct. I think, your wife, she waited, perhaps to plan her revenge, I could not know her exact thinking, but I do not believe she behaved impulsively. She took her time, I think, to hurt you."

Her last words hit home. They descended rapidly Into that deep dark recess we hide ourselves in, renewing the intense pain of a previously dull ache. I guess my expression changed to something less than pleasant, for Bregit's face took on a look of sudden alarm. Leaning forward and making a motion as if to touch me, she said, "Oh, Joesph, I am sorry. I apologize for my thoughtless words."

I smiled at Bregit, although I felt more like gritting my teeth and snarling. "No, you did nothing wrong. Remember, I asked for your thoughts on what I'd been through. You're merely expressing an honest opinion and I can't ask for more than that. So, please, don't apologize for giving me what I asked for."

Bregit nodded her head slowly, unsure of my sincerity. "Thank you, Joesph." She quickly glanced around the room somewhat nervously rather than to continue looking at me. "Perhaps, I should leave. I can go now and arrive at the station in time to catch the last train."

Already my pain was dissipating, its reemergence, at Bregit's words, a fading spark of what once upon a time a raging bonfire.

"No. Please stay. It's late and from the sound of it, its' begun to rain." Bregit looked at me with a wistful expression. I could tell she was ready to bolt. "Really, Bregit. I'm fine. You caught me by surprise, is all. I guess I wasn't as emotionally separated from my experience as I thought." I said with a slightly forced chortle.

She seemed to relax slightly, but I could sense she wasn't fully convinced. I wasn't sure why I wanted her to stay. I liked her, sure, but no more than what I would care for a good friend. I certainly had no designs on her. Not that I hadn't thought of her in a less than professional way, she certainly was pretty enough, but those thoughts had been fleeting and easily ousted from my mind.

"Look, let's finish the wine while we talk of other things. Then, we'll head off to sleep. How does that sound?"

"Okay, Joesph. Let us do that. And, thank you."

For the next hour we spoke of her life in Norway and in France, of my business aspirations, and of other prosaic subjects. Until we reached an impasse in our conversational mundanity. I sipped at the wine, my thoughts drifting lazily to nothing in particular, enjoying the shared companionable quiet between Bregit and myself over the last few minutes.

"Joesph- may I say something- of your marriage? If you do not mind."

The question was asked with conflicting tonal inflections. Apparently, Bregit dreaded bringing up whatever it was, but something else drove her, regardless of what it might incur.

"Sure. Go for it."

A quizzical expression appeared momentarily on her lovely face, and just as quickly a soft smile erased it. Bridget raised her head to look me squarely in the eye as she began to speak.

"I do not mean to say that I agree with your wife's thinking. As I do not. I think- I think what she did is a very horrible thing to play on someone else, ear... um... irrespective! Of the reason behind it. Your wife- she made many mistakes. The worst mistake is not trusting you. The second bad mistake is not speaking with you about her- concerns. By themselves, as bad as these are, the two bad mistakes are not what has caused your negative emotions of your wife. I think you could have make- I mean, made your marriage work, if she did not go farther. Yes?"

"Yes. I could have worked things out with her at that point. Probably. It wouldn't have been a easy task, but I think we could have made it. But-"

Bergit interrupted before I could finish what I wanted to say.

"Yes! But- your wife took a man to her bad- I mean bed, and, as you Americans say, 'crossed the line'. Yes?", she exclaimed, somewhat agitatedly.

Okay, so she had spoken the thought I had.

"Yes. Shela crossed the line. And, it's a line that can never be crossed in a healthy loving relationship, like in a marriage. That is, in a monogamous marriage."

"Yes! What your wife did, she made only a small problem a very big problem."

"I agree with you, Bregit. It has only added to a problem she created. I've never cheated on my wife. Never! Sure, I've been tempted –I think every guy has-- but I've never crossed that line. It isn't worth it. But, I don't have a choice in it anymore. What's done is done, and there is no going back."

Bregit gave me a long searching look before she spoke again.

"Are you certain there is not a chance you can forgive what she has done and return to her?" She asked with a curious tone in her voice.

Leaning forward I motioned with my hand, moving it side-to-side, palm down, to emphasis my words, saying, "No. I can't. It goes beyond just the act of sex with another person. It's everything that lays behind it. It's the lack of faith on her part, the loss of trust on both our parts, and the treachery of her act. Not to mention, she never gave me the opportunity to defend myself against her accusations. Shela willfully and gleefully destroyed the basis of our marriage. Even if I could forgive Shela, a relationship with her would be filled with undisguised disgust, uncertainty, and no little distrust, each time I looked at her. Her deed was the ultimate and brutal betrayal."

I stopped to collect myself, I could feel strong emotions begin to build. Again.

Bregit looked at me briefly as I finished speaking, and I swear I saw a slight blush on her face.

Clearing my throat I continued more calmly, "I wish it hadn't happened, but it did and now- It's all about moving forward. Never backward. Always forward, Bregit." I looked at her. I think I saw a glint in her eye, What it meant, I wasn't sure.

The room became uncomfortably silent for a moment, as if we both expected something to happen. A pregnant pause. It was a bit awkward, but then I shook myself, grabbed my wine glass, and stood to open another bottle of wine.

"Would you like one more glass of wine before we head off to sleep, Bregit?"

"Yes, one more glass, please. I will help you."

Before I could respond, she sprung up, but too quickly, for she lost her balance. I reached out with my one free hand to grab her arm and steady her. But, she was too unbalanced and fell back, with her weight pulling me down atop her on the couch. We lay face to face, and without thought, or a conscious desire, I kissed her. She kissed me back, wrapping her arms around my neck, pulling me closer. Our kiss lasted for an infinity, and yet it was all too short. When we finally drew apart, I wanted more. I eased myself beside her, never taking my eyes off of hers. I took her empty wine glass, placing hers and mine on the floor, then I reached over to hold her shoulders as I kissed her again. Her response was a passionate embrace that seemed to fill me with a sense of happiness, stoking some deeply buried passions, and then our lips opened and our tongues raced to touch and danced together, as our bodies moved to the furor of a maddening crescendo.

Bregit's body undulated next to mine, pressing against me, rubbing against my chest and legs. My nether region responded accordingly, my stiffening member pushing and rubbing against her thigh while my hands unceasingly roamed the contours of her hips, legs and breasts. She began to radiate a searing arousal. My mind became a brightly exploding void as her escalating passions engulfed me, filling my body and soul with a wild fire of desire matching her own.

I easily picked up Birget, carrying her to the bedroom. I slowly lay her down on the bed covers, then eased down next to her. Her eyes were closed, her sweet lips were slightly open as if in invitation. She was silently panting. I could feel the warm soft puffs of her breath spill across my face like ghostly caresses. I moved one of my hands to her left breast; it was both soft and firm. She didn't have large breasts, but they filled her sheer bra very nicely. I rubbed my thumb across her jutting nipple as outlined by her blouse. She gave a slight gasp. Encouraged by her sound of pleasure I slowly ran my hand down to her tummy, lightly touching her hot skin as I moved under her blouse and up to her breasts.

She gasped again, but louder, as I pulled her blouse and bra up, exposing her breasts, and began to gently lick and nibble at her nipples while the tips of my fingers caressed her perfectly smooth slopes of her breasts.

Her hands were still clasped around my neck and I could feel her arms relaxing as I moved my nimble fingers along her breasts and over the rest of her supple body. I kissed her again, and my passion exploded as did hers. We went from slow motion, to fast forward. We groped, grabbed, pulled at one another, kissed until our lips bruised, and somehow we ended up naked. Drops of slick perspiration covered our bodies like glistening crystal jewels. I had moved atop her and my engorged cock was straining to move into her. Her legs were only slightly spread, but I pushed slowly against her, until they parted enough to enter her warm wet cavern of womanhood.

I looked down into her eyes as I began to ease into her, and she looked back at me. Her eyes were expectant, waiting, demanding, then...

I bottomed out and my brain exploded with the sensation of being inside her velvety softness.

We began to move, slowly at first, but then faster, as we both gained the rhythm of our bodies becoming one.

There were no loving thoughts, no words of endearment, no lies, no promises, no regrets, as we began to have sex in earnest. Little murmurs of desire and pleasure escaped her sweet swollen lips to match my masculine guttural sounds of wanton desire.

I'm not sure how long we fucked, but when we came, it was together. We irrupted as one. Our universe expanded and contracted repeatedly, innumerable times, in an instant. I could feel our rapidly beating hearts synced in harmonious drumming, I felt the clenching of my belly muscles against her spasming abdominal muscles. Then we were spent. I collapsed atop her with a loud grunt. I tried to roll off her but my arms were too weak to lift and roll me away. We lay there minutes, hours, days- A timeless moment. Our sweat poured off of us and mingled on the bed cover, to mix with the succuses leaked by our furious sexual exertions.

Finally, she helped me move off her. Her eyes were closed as she took great gulps of air, causing her breasts to move up and down like buoys in rough seas . I could feel my cock stirring in response; preparing for another go.

I stared at her loveliness, her near perfect skin, her slightly swollen lips, her small nose, and her slim but sensual neck. I saw the pulse on her neck as it throbbed, and my cock throbbed in time to it. I didn't love the girl but there was something there that hadn't been there before, or perhaps, I just never noticed.

While I looked at her and tried to figure out what it was that now defined us, she opened her eyes, sat up, looked around, until her gaze settled on me.

She saw me looking at her, and a hint of a smile played across her lips. But, something about her had changed. The sadness I had seen earlier, was back.

"Joesph- I am- I am submitting my resignation tomorrow morning."

I was floating in a very pleasant place, but at her words I plummeted to earth; crashing and burning.

"What? Why?"

"I am sorry, Joesph. I was going to tell you Friday, but then I think it would have interfered with our work. Yes? So I waited. I am going home. There is someone back home, waiting on me to say yes to his proposal of marriage. And, I will say yes. I will say yes, and never again leave him or do with another what we have done tonight."

I was beyond words. I didn't know what to say. A fiancé? That was news to me.

"I see you are sad, Joesph. So am I. But, it is what I must do. I will be a good wife to him and if it should happen, be a good mother too, to our children."

"Was I mistake? Was I some kind of litmus test?" I blurted out. As soon as I said the words, I regretted them. I had let my anger form my words instead of my brain.

Her look went from sadness to a warm kindness. "No, Joesph. You are a good friend. I do not regret what we did. It has shown me what love from a good man is like. My fiancé is a good man too. Just like you, Joesph. I realized this as I worked with you. You were kind, patient and very helpful. Tonight you were that and more. Thanks to you, I have made up my mind. I will marry him."

I looked away from her as her words poured over me and filled me with...I don't know. Gratefulness? Anger? Hurt? Sadness? Jealousy? And yes, even happiness? I felt all of the aforementioned.

"Please, Joesph, my time with you was- I did not plan it, but I am glad we made love. I shall never forget this feeling. I will always remember you, Joesph. Always."

With that, she left the bed, gathered her clothes, quickly dressed, and with a chaste peck on my cheek, walked to the bedroom door. I could do nothing, but watch her leave as I lay spent, still in the grip of a sexual stupor, with my mind again whirling in emotional turmoil.

Bregit stopped, turned around to face me, and uttered a final parting.

"Joesph. Even if you do not return to your wife, please forgive her. If you want to move forward, I think, you must forgive her. I wish you a good life. Au revoir, mon ami."

~N~

Monday morning Bregit came in to drop off her resignation with Human Resources. She went to all her co-workers to bid them goodbye. She never came to my office, although I knew she wouldn't, it still bothered me.

A month passed since Bregit had quit when I'd hired a new assistant. She was nothing like Bregit, but then few were. Diane was capable and very organized, but the pizazz I had with Bregit was missing. That was okay, too. I made up for it by throwing myself ever deeper into my work. I even allowed the lower echelons -the working stiffs- to forward their own ideas through their department heads. This improved moral quite a bit. I think some even began to like me. Which was like rain on a duck, their regards ran right off. I didn't care if anyone liked me, as long as they did their jobs the best they knew how.

I had spoken to my attorney several times during that month, he saying that Shela was becoming frantic in her attempt to contact me, and me replying that I didn't care. We had already divided our material and financial assets, so there was nothing to talk about. I didn't care why she cheated, all that mattered to me is that she did. I would never forgive or forget that.

It was a Tuesday night, just over six weeks since Bregit had left, when my world changed...

Chapter Three

I was working late that evening, the staff had already left and I was going over some last minute changes on some of the proposals, when there was a knock at my door. During business hours my door is always open, but after hours, I close the door to prevent the noises the cleaning crew made to keep from breaking my concentration.

I thought it might be one of the cleaning crew, come to ask if they could do my office. My mind and eyes were still on focused on the paperwork as I shouted at whomever it was to enter.

The door slowly opened and I heard the hard clacking sound of footfalls on marble as someone neared my desk. I looked up expecting...Well, not who I saw.

I was filled with mind numbing surprise as Amber stood before me.

I felt my body begin to shake, whether in anger or some undefined reaction to her presence, I don't know, but I quickly found my voice.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

Anger flashed in her eyes, but she never changed her facial expression, which seemed both sad and exultant.

"And how did you get past security?"

"Hello to you too, Joe." she said in her naturally sultry voice.

Amber always spoke like she was getting ready to have sex. She had that voice quality of low smoky tones, with just a hint of a promise. I was immune to it for all I felt was anger coursing through me as she spoke.

"Aren't you going to offer a girl something to drink? After all, I traveled four-thousand miles and that builds up quite a thirst."

I wanted to throw her out, but my anger ebbed enough to be replaced by a morbid curiosity. Why had she come to France? It couldn't be simply to talk to me. Since she had to know I had no intention of talking to her, and that's a lot of money to spend on nothing.

I shrugged, stood up and walked to the wet bar. While my office had a bar, I didn't indulge, it was for clients in case they wanted to relax, in a more informal way. I fixed her a scotch on the rocks. I didn't care for Amber, but over the years, I'd come to know some things about her, like what she preferred to drink. While I made the drink, Amber went to sit on the plush couch that was part of the office décor.