Love Thy Enemy

Amber didn't say a word. She just looked at me, I guess trying to figure out whether I was just angry or fully enraged. I was somewhere in between those two levels.

"I tell you what, Amber. When you get better, you go home and you tell your friend that I've considered what she's asked of me. And that I have declined it. I won't stay married to her. I don't want the slut. And to me she is a slut of the worst type. She had her chance to approach me and ask if I'd cheated. We could have worked it out at that point. Instead, she chose to side with you and your mistake. And for both of your information, I have never cheated on Shela while we were still together as a married couple."

It took a long moment before Amber caught on to the phrasing of my words.

"What do you mean you never cheated on her while you two were together? You're still married to her! Have you been with someone else?"

"What I've done or not done since Shela's fuck fest is none of your's or Shela's business. As far as I'm concerned, Shela and I are divorced, we are just waiting on the legal end of it to catch up."

Surprisingly, Amber didn't say a word, nor did she get angry. Rather, her face grew sad.

"I have to get back to work, Amber. I'll see you later."

I stood up and left, while Amber stared at me, looking even sadder.

~N~

I just spent the last month backtracking myself and explaining to everyone that I'd previously bad mouthed Joe to, how it was all my fault. That he hadn't cheated on me. I even told them what I'd done in revenge, although not in detail. My parents were incensed with me. They never cared for Joe, and they'd been pretty obvious about it, but now, with the betrayal of my marriage vows, they felt they'd been played for fools by my mistake. My mother was more understanding, only because she knows my temper. My dad was as red-faced furious as I'd ever seen him. I left with a better understanding of Joe's plight whenever we had come to my parent's home to visit. Of course, Joe complained, but I, knowing better, always dismissed his complaints, insisting that he just needed to try harder to get along with them.

My friends, I should say my former friends, were worse. They looked at me with growing disgust as I explained what had happened. I'd hoped for compassion and instead I received castigation and the treatment of a pariah. I was more alone than I'd ever been or felt. I didn't even have Joe to comfort me. I was beyond anguish. I thought I knew what real emotional pain was when I thought Joe cheated on me, but in knowing what my family and friends thought of me now, was worse than that. I saw what I'd done to Joe in a new light.

What I wouldn't give to turn back the days to before my betrayal. I'd do so many thing differently. I'd be a real wife to Joe, not just give lip service. I'd listen to him and offer him comfort and understanding. I'd make sure he was happy with everything in our marriage, most especially, me. I'd even limit my time with Amber and never take her word as gospel ever again. But, I couldn't go back in time. The past was the past and what was done was done. All I could do now is to hope that Amber somehow would get through to Joe and that Joe will listen to me and give me a chance to be the best wife a husband could ever have.

To add further insult to injury, John, my tool for revenge, had become hurt, then angry at me when I refused to see him anymore. I thought I had let him off easy, but he took it hard. In return he began to brag about how he'd fucked me and had video taped our fuck sessions. He told all of his co-workers and his friends. Although we lived in different cities, we both worked for the same company and company policy had it as a big no-no that there was to be no fraternization between co-workers, especially married ones.

In his great wisdom, John told the wrong people, which then made it up to the big bosses. It was the next day, following that heads-up, that he and I were both served with termination papers. Now, I'm out of a job, out of family and friends, and out of a husband.

I would be okay financially for a few months,what with the severance pay, but what good was a job and a home with no loving husband to share it with?

I truly felt lonely and totally alone.

~N~

Amber was released after a few days but she had to wait until the wound had healed a couple of weeks before she could fly. It was something about thrombosis. In a moment of insanity, I told Amber's doctor that she would be staying with me until she was able to fly home. He seemed satisfied and hastened to release her into my care. I didn't really want Amber staying with me, but strangely I also felt guilty about what had happened to her, so in order to assuage my conscience I took the high road. Okay, not really the high road, for something inside me needed to show Amber that she was wrong about me throughout all those years. I really wanted to rub her face in it, forcing her to swallow her own wretched bile for once.

Naturally, Amber rebuffed my offer, which I'd expected. I calmly told her, as she loudly argued, that it was either stay with me or stay in the hospital for the next two weeks. Which would put her at the mercy of the doctors and nurses twenty-four hours a day for the next fourteen days, all at her own expense. The company executives, those above me, decided that because Amber had been there uninvited --essentially trespassing-- they would not cover her medical expenses, and in the same breath stated as long as she didn't fight that decision, they wouldn't file criminal charges against her. Amber's health insurance might reimburse her medical bills, but it would take time. She could also have stayed at her hotel but that would have been nearly as expensive, and all for nothing but for recuperating. Grudgingly, she gave in.

"Where am I going to sleep?" Amber asked with suspicion as she walked into my home.

"You'll be using the spare bed room. I had it readied for your use. So go ahead and make yourself at home. I have to head back to the office, but Lucia, the housekeeper, will get you whatever you need. If they're any problems she can call me at work."

Amber looked a bit lost as I left. I'm sure it wasn't the vacation she'd expected and I certainly hadn't planned on having her stay with me, but we never know how things will work out until they are a done deal.

I lost myself in my work, quickly forgetting about Amber and the reason she was here. The day went by quickly. The cleaning crew had been in the following day of Amber's accident and had brought my office back to its original condition. They must have replaced the rug, washed and painted the walls, and whatever else, as there were no signs of what had happened. Certainly, all the blood and its particular iron oxide odor were gone.

That evening as I walked home, the idea of Amber staying with me hit me like a barrel of warm shit. What was I doing allowing Amber, an admitted antagonist, to stay with me? It had been a good idea before it became a reality and now, I wasn't so sure. There wasn't much I could do about it now, but to grin and bear it. It was my own fault and I'd own up to it.

"Hello, Mr. Pleasent. Your dinner is in the oven and I'm going home now. I'll see you tomorrow. Have a pleasant evening." offered Lucia as I walked in to my home. Her joke was as old as the Italian hills, from where she originally hailed, and she said it every night, but I didn't mind as she never used it in a derogatory way.

I gave her the obligatory smile.

"Okay, Lucia. I'll see you tomorrow. Oh, and by the way, did my guest give you any problems?"

"Not at all, Signore. She was very polite and even tried to help me with my house work. I told her she had to rest so she can get better. She...infine...how do you say? Oh, yes! Finally she listened to me and stayed in her room. She is a very nice lady, Mister Pleasent."

"I see. I appreciate your help with this, Lucia. I know it's not part of your job, so I'll make sure there's a bonus for you this week and every week my guest stays here. Good night, Lucia."

After Lucia thanked me and left, I checked the oven to see what she'd made for dinner. Since being in France, rather since I'd hired an Italian as my housekeeper my weight had become a problem. Lucia made everything from scratch and the taste of her cooking was something that not even the finest American restaurants could approach. I ate not just to satisfy hunger but to appease my taste buds, and it was beginning to show around my middle.

I was delighted by the aroma wafting out of the oven as I pulled open the over door to peer in. It was carne pizziola with pasta! One of my favorites! At least, it was one of my favorites since I'd hired Lucia.

I was so engrossed by my gastronomic desire, that I didn't hear Amber walk into the kitchen until she spoke.

"Hi, Joe."

I can't deny I was startled, as I'd momentarily forgotten about Amber.

"Hello, Amber." I replied cautiously. "How are you feeling?" I asked as I straightened up.

"Still in some pain, but not as bad as it was. The pain medication helps."

"Good. Are you hungry? It looks like Lucia made enough for both of us."

She nodded her head before she answered. "Yes, I could eat a bite or two. That smells wonderful. What is it?"

While I replied to her question, I grabbed place settings for two. I was going for a bottle of wine, but decided that it might be easier on Amber if I drank something else. Although Lucia detested iced tea, she usually made me sun brewed tea. Two pitchers sat in the frig.

We ate for a few minutes in silence before Amber spoke up.

"You've a great housekeeper and she's also seems like a wonderful person. She cooks like a dream and cleans like she means it." said Amber around a forkful of pasta.

"Yes, I was lucky to find Lucia. She came highly recommended. She had other offers but she took mine. And I'm mighty glad she decided to work for me." I said around my own forkful of pasta.

"I can't believe how wonderful this tastes! I've never had anything like it before." exclaimed Amber in savory awe.

"Yeah. I know what you mean. Back in the states, we can't get this level of quality food even in the finer restaurants."

Although we spoke about the food and the weather and a few other inane things, our level of amicability with each other remained strained and distant, and definitely uncomfortable. I guess years and years of mutual antagonism takes its toll.

After eating, I cleaned up and headed to my study to do some work before going to bed. Amber had said she was going to lay down. I find it easy to get involved with work and in no time, I was deep into it. When it was time for bed, I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

It went on like this for the rest of the first week of Amber's convalescence. We ate, spoke about generalities and even enjoyed some time together. I was utterly surprised and somewhat disgusted at myself that I could so easily enjoy the company of such a bitch.

During the second week, we went sight seeing, although Amber didn't last too long, as too much movement caused her arm to become painful. Still, we both had a good time. We even shared a laugh or two at some of the things we saw and heard. We didn't get to the Eiffel Tower, but its promise was always in the background. Paris is a city for lovers, and as Amber and I spent time together, some of the city's romanticism made itself felt. We never kissed. We hardly touched, but something began to change between us.

This change really confused me and caused no little amount of discordance with what I felt for Amber's treatment of me for all the years I was with Shela. Perhaps, her experience with her own morality had changed Amber. I don't know, but the Amber that accompanied me on our outings was not the Amber that I'd known. We had fun. We laughed. We entered into deep discussions. We even argued, but it was only in our differences of opinion about such things like politics. I truly began to look forward to going out with Amber and I even began to develop amicable feelings toward her.

The day finally came when the doctor declared her fit enough to fly. During her time with me not once had she brought up Shela. I was grateful for that, but I had expected her to at least try once or twice, so although I was on edge at times, when she made ready to leave back to the states, I was also a bit disappointed that she hadn't mentioned Shela. It isn't that I wanted to discuss Shela, only that it gave me a perverse pleasure feeling righteous in those kind of arguments.

I wasn't accompanying her to the airport, as I had a important meeting to attend at work, instead, I waited at home to see her off, as she awaited a taxi's arrival.

"Joe, I know I've not been the nicest person to you since we've known each other, but I want you to know I do appreciate you putting up with me these last couple of weeks. I apologize to you, Joe. I figured you for another sort of man. I'm glad to know you are who you are, and nothing as I thought you were. I'll never be able to forgive myself for what I've done to you and Shela, but if there is anything I can do to make it right- I will. I promise!"

Surprisingly, I winced at the mention of my wife. I had begun to put aside my memories of Shela, but now, they came back with a vengeance. Along with the anger I felt at her cheating.

Amber must have seen my reaction to what she said because her eyes took on a startled look and her mouth formed a small "O", which she covered with a small hand.

She glanced at her watch then looked back at me.

"Joe, please let me say this. I know you don't want to hear it, but I have to tell you. Please let me get it out before I leave. Okay?"

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. I know I didn't want to hear what she had to say, but I also knew that I was either going to hear it now or hear it later, so I figured to get it over with.

Taking a deep breath, Amber began her tale.

"I was the one who saw, someone I thought was you, with a blond haired woman. At first I couldn't believe it was you, but then I felt vindicated because it supported and proved my previous opinion of you. I didn't tell Shela right away. I waited until I saw the man with that same woman twice more. I also took photos and video each time, and later I shown them to Shela. At first, she too couldn't believe what she saw. But, the photos and video were damning. Then she became angry. I'd never seen her so angry. What Shela did to you wasn't something I agreed with, but she was angry and hurt, and afterwards she felt she needed revenge."

I stood listening, and some things Shela had said in the video made more sense. I know it wasn't me with the blond, but the mention of a blond headed woman was an odd point of fact. Curiously, I felt an icy calm descend as Amber went on with her story.

"The last time I saw this man with the blond woman, I called Shela and she raced to the hotel I work at, to confront you." She stopped to draw a quavery breath. "To make a long story shorter, it turned out it wasn't you. That's when Shela and I realized the horrible mistake I'd made. I felt so bad. For both her and you. I feel responsible for everything and I know Shela is feeling even worse. So if you will please speak with her and let her explain, then maybe...I don't know...Maybe you guys can find some way to patch things up."

I knew there was no way to "patch things up". What I'd seen on the video left me unable to feel anything but hate. I wished Shela hadn't done what she had. I wished she would have come to me. I wished- Now, it was too late and there was no option but divorce.

"I'm not going to talk to her, Amber. There is nothing to say and you've told me all I want to hear about it. What she did can't be undone! More so, what about the next time she believes I'm I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing and allows her temper to get the best of her? I'm not going to live like that. I don't need to. I could put up with her attitudes and temper for the most part, but not when it leads to her committing infidelities, because she feels she needs revenge. So you can tell Shela what you want, but I'm through playing with her. I'll be pushing hard for the divorce from here on out. She really needs to get an attorney. It would be in her best interest to do so."

Amber nodded sadly, and made to get her bags.

"By the way...Who did you mistake me with?" I asked out of idle curiosity.

She froze, looking like a deer caught in the beam of a car's headlights.

In a small voice she said, "Hank Pleasant. Your cousin."

It had been two decades since I'd last heard that name, and it wasn't with the best regard that I'd last heard it. Not that there was bad blood between my cousin, Hank and I, but his attitudes changed after he began medical school. He began to look down his nose at those he considered inferior, which meant most people.

"He and I look that much alike?" I asked Amber disbelievingly.

"Yes, you do. There are differences, but they're minor ones. The biggest differences are the eye and hair color. Otherwise, you two could be identical twins."

I didn't know what to say, not that it changed anything between Shela and I, but it did cause me some wonderment.

"Amber, thanks for telling me." Her face lit up and a small smile began, but quickly disappeared as I continued. "I wish I could say that it makes a difference, but it doesn't. Bottom line is that Shela cheated on me and did it with malicious humiliation. I'm not as angry as I used to be, yet, she crossed a bridge that no longer exists."

Amber looked like she was about to argue, until I continued on.

"Could you live with a man that cheated to get even with you, whether you cheated yourself or not? And did it in such a way as to rub your nose in his infidelity, until you choked on it?"

She looked at me with a pleading gaze, but in the end dropped her eyes, uttering a single word, "No."

We heard a car horn blaring, typical of all taxi cab drivers everywhere, and I helped Amber with her bags. In a couple of minutes she was ready to leave. The driver seemed impatient so I opened the door for Amber, expecting her to get into the cab. Instead, she turned to me and gave me a hug and kiss on the lips that was far from virtuous. I felt something stir deep within me that had lain dormant since Shela's cheating. What was more surprising is that it was caused by a woman who I'd not liked very much since I'd known her. Flustered, I stepped away from her, putting the open car door between her and I. She gave a small pout that had my heart and crotch doing things they had no business doing because of her.

"I guess this is goodbye, Joe. Thanks again, for everything." She looked like she was going to say more, but turned abruptly and entered the cab, closing the door behind her. The driver tore out. I looked on and Amber never turned her head to look back. For some reason I felt disappointment at that.

~N~

Amber had returned with her news and it wasn't good at all. I was beside myself with the thought that Joe was going to divorce me. I know it all was my fault. I know that, but I felt resentment building towards him because of his refusal to speak with me. Amber tried to cheer me up, but I was too deep into self-pity that she finally quit trying. Why wouldn't Joe give me a chance? I know I was wrong with what I did, but it was a fucking mistake! I didn't do it because I needed another man in my life!

Amber even tried to tell me that what I wanted was the very same thing I denied Joe, before I went and fucked another man and rubbed it into my husband's face. I should have talked to Joe, asked him why he was cheating on me. I know that now. But, couldn't Joe tell how much I loved him? How much I needed him? How much I missed his gentle loving ways?