Love's Strange Course

"On the floor," she said lightheartedly, "we can sit by the fire."

"That sounds like a plan, our own private little picnic."

"Wait, first turn out the light. It'll help with the ambiance."

He quickly complied, the light from the kitchen and the heater were the only illumination in the room. Carrie sat down and refilled their glasses, as he joined her on the floor.

"It'd be nice if this were a real fireplace, wouldn't it?" She took a bite of her cold pizza and washed it down with a sip of wine.

"This is fine by me. Cold pizza, warm fire, good company; couldn't ask for more."

"Agreed," she said simply as she ate. When she finished the crust, she screwed up her courage.

"Eddie, I think I'm falling in love with you. Am I being silly, or is it too soon to say it?"

"No," he paused and looked at her. "I think it's only silly if you don't mean it. If you do mean it, it would be silly not to say something."

"I do mean it." Another pause, then, "It's just that I thought I was in love with...him, but this feels different somehow. I can't explain it, but it's different; so different. I don't want you to think I'm some sex starved middle aged tart running around with her heart on her sleeve proclaiming love for everybody who slips it to her. Oh, please don't think that."

He moved over behind her and put his arms around her. "I never thought such a thing, never. If I did, I'd never have tried to warn you about Jimmy. I've been more worried that you'd think I was like him, just out for a quick fuck."

She winced at his use of the word. His vulgarity surprised her, but more than that, it reminded her that that was all she had been to Roselli. It was a sobering thought.

"You don't think of me that way, like he did, do you? The truth, I have to know." She still needed reassurance, it had only been days since her break up. The feeling of betrayal was fresh in her mind.

"No, of course not," he hugged her firmly. "I told you, I didn't get much sleep last night. I spent a lot of time thinking about this and about you. I couldn't wait to get to work this morning just to see you, hoping you still wanted to see me. But it had to be your choice. We could only take the next step if you wanted to, and apparently you did. Remember, I told you at the bar, if any woman could restore the feelings I had back when I was with my first girlfriend, I was hers. Those were the type of feelings I had last night. Look, did you ever here the theory that love and hatred are basically the same emotion?"

"No," she responded, "that's a new one on me."

"Well, think about it. They're both obsessions. The difference is in one the intellect finds it pleasing, love, and the other it finds unpleasant, hate. Indifference is the opposite of both."

"OK, I'm following you so far."

"It occurred to me that I always did like you. But we wound up as competitors, so my mind turned it into a negative. Every time we bumped heads, I acted out of frustration more than any distain I had for you. The negativity's been removed and here we are."

Carrie twisted herself around to face him. "So, are you telling me what I think you're telling me?"

"What I'm saying is this, you say you think you love me. I want to believe you and I'm willing to trust you're being honest about it. I feel the same way about you, and I'm asking you to trust me, I'm not here to hurt you. I also believe I've had these feeling for a while, but I've been suppressing them. I'm tired of doing that."

Carrie thought for a moment before replying. "But, I don't THINK I'm in love with you though. I am in love with you, I knew it when you kissed me in the bar."

"I love you too. I think I have for a long while."

She leaned forward and kissed him. "Two fools, and it took one crummy son of a bitch to open our eyes. I'll never figure this one out."

"I guess it's best not to try. Just accept it and be glad it sorted itself out."

She turned back around and leaned back against him. Looking to the window she could see the snowflakes falling.

"It's still coming down, you may be snowed in here tonight."

"I think I'll be able to get home OK."

She mimicked his words from the night at the bar. "Maybe you can, maybe you can't, let's not risk it."

"If you insist, my love, who am I to argue? But I have to get out tomorrow, I've got to go shopping."

She looked over her shoulder and smiled. "What for, more condoms?"

"No, well maybe, but mainly to buy the stupidest half assed bastard in the office a bottle of single malt, a little thank you."

Carrie turned around and kissed him. "Make it from both of us, we'll split the cost."

She returned to her original position with her back against him. As he put his arms around her, she looked towards the window watching the snowflakes falling. She was content; it had been a good week.