by Nightchild27
Two lazy privileged bitches who couldn't even carry the stuff from the Jeep into the room
A story that promises to be interesting ...
I hope the following chapters stay that way, with little sex and lots of romance.
At the moment, 5 * for you.
I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.
This is shaping up to be an awesome story! Can't wait to read more
...but spoilt by numerous typos and grammatical errors. Try running future instalments past one of Lit's volunteer editors before posting.
I sincerely hope you continue this story, so much potential! Nice beginning and leaving so many directions to move towards. Good luck and hope to see more soon.
I should have mentioned that in my first comment - your fine pacing for what I hope will be a compelling story.
Other than some needed editing, your story intrigued me enough to where I look forward to your next installment. As I writer myself, I read for style as well as content. Had I edited this story, I would have supplanted some of your words with ones I felt were more appropriate. For example, the heroine wonders if her friend's dad gave her a "dirty" look. I would have used "suggestive." That said, I could picture the characters, at least my conception of the way you sketched them.