All Comments on 'Lumberyard Miracle'

good story maybe a second chapter

You need to write the story from one perspective. It become a hard read when you change the scene descriptor from one paragraph to the next, and it is especially hard to read when the perspective changes from one to the other and back in only one or two short paragraphs. Consider collaborating with one of the fine editors on this site to get the perspective right.

Sweet story, yukonnights! Once again, you made me feel intrigued, at ease, and sympathizing with people so different from myself.

I love the way you brought these two people together, and how you made them come close to each other; it's so realistic and believable. Although I consider myself plain-heterosexually oriented, your descriptions never make me feel uncomfortable; on the contrary. I felt connected with both Erika and Dan, and loved to read even the details about how they experienced coming close to each other. Your descriptions of the acts of love and caring feel just like that; acts of love and caring, and gender and orientation have nothing to do with that. Great work!

Just a thank you for the comments so far. I appreciate those who take the time to offer some thoughtful input. In regard to the Point-of-View style; This is helpful feedback as I am currently experimenting with this 'close first person' approach. On the stories I've done like this, the reception is mixed — some like the immediacy (more like a movie script or real time dialogue/thoughts/action, etc.) — some prefer the more distant story telling style. It's an intentional technique, so the perspective is as intended. All my stories go through edit/review by others, so any faults are mine. Any other comments on this will also be greatly appreciated ~ yukonnighs

I usually do not care for changes in perspective mid stream in a story, but the way you did it was brilliant. Do not listen to the guy saying that you should consult an editor.

The constant changes in perspective in this take only helped to draw me in and make the story a bit more whole. Knowing what is happening from both sides makes it easier to get lost in the romance. Brilliantly done Yukon.

Thank you so much , the story built so well and I found myself buying into Dan and Erika . Well done xx

Just dropping in again to thank Dawn and Annon for the very helpful comments. Being able to "buy into" the characters, as Dawn describes it, is a much needed goal for all who write a story — it's so relieving when someone let's me know it worked for them. And the question of perspective/point of view; I know this is a personal and individual thing — every person has preferences. I respect them all. Every comment helps me to try and be better on the next story ; )

The only criticism I can give is regarding the shifting perspectives. Other than that it was wonderfully written and a beautiful story! I almost didn’t read it due to the title but so glad I gave it a chance!!

You understand. What a rare and lovely flower you are. xxx

wonderfully told. I had a bit of trouble with the shifting POVs , but got it after a couple of times. great character building. keep writing!!

Thank you so much for your wonderful story!

I am breathless and as a feminine being I want this!

Just want to say thanks again for all of the comments. I've also been contacted in private messages from others who have told me how much this little story meant to them. To be honest, I had some doubts about the story before publishing it — you've all proved those doubts were misplaced. Truly, your love sent back to me more than pays for my time in writing this! ~ yukonnights

PS: For those who enjoyed this one, you might want to check out 'April Can Be So Foolish'. It's a mtf transgender who falls in love with a cis-female lesbian.

Loved the story! I will say that they were both a little too like-able, everyone has their moments. Also, the person changes threw me at first, but after that I got used to them and the story was so well written otherwise that it was only a mild distraction. I was able to paint a mental pic of both Dan & ET, it was a nice, romantic, erotic tale. Please continue, bet she turns a little sluttier in a couple of years😈

I love this story, it's such a great love story. The sex is secondary to the love, but it does make it so much more fun to read.

It only took one time when the POV changed for me to figure out what was going on. You always pointed out the person doing the talking and I think it worked out perfectly. Plus, it was much more interesting, like standing there listening to them.

I guess I identified with Erika pretty much, as I sit here wearing a dress over my panties and bra, because their dialog after they first met really hit home for me.

I don't care what some Anons think, I'm so glad you took the time to write and post this masterpiece, thanks.

Femme-ish guy here. I’m wearing my hair in French braids today, wearing my Carharts and a Covid mask. I was at a local lumberyard, loading my truck and got approached by a yard employee. “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Lol! It reminded me of this beautiful story.

-Love. Alex

Absolutely Beautiful Story so in love i wonder if the Anasazi Spirits watched over them

Love the romance, with the erotic descriptions mixed in. It is hard for an author to do alternating first person writing, but yours was so seemless and smooth. This was a great read.

Finding ones soulmate is extremely hard when it's just a man and woman. I was extremely lucky to actually met and marry mine. The fact I grew up in New York state, my family moved south in my early teens and had spent most of that time in the upstate which included a first marriage.

The fact afterwards I got a job in the Midlands after my divorce and worked retail.

Was how I met my dear wife, that was from the lower end of the state. TheLord/ universe had a plan.🥰

'Nicely done again, yukonnights. The alternating 1st person narrative is more smoothly written in this story. Romance and insecurity are well described.

A lovely story very near to my hopes and dreams. Aren’t we all looking for love and acceptance of who we are deep down inside our souls? Thank you so much sharing your story with us who appreciate and desire love like this.