All Comments on 'Making Good Friends'

okay I've read a lot of far fetched stories but this seems more than a little beyond the pail. But at least grammar isn't noticably poor so good for you.

This story in and of itself isn't bad... it is just that the flow is so awful and that it is somewhat hard to get into because of the lack of realism. Try adding more descriptions, not just more adjectives. Increase the depth of your character's dialogue. And as was said previously, try to have a more believable situation.

Nonetheless, it is a starting point :) You'll become better with practice.