All Comments on 'Man of the House'

I like this story. I just had a hard time with the grammar and spelling. But I'll be waiting for 2

I hope if you decide to write another chapter to this HORRIBLE story, that maybe you can learn to write, and then find an editor to correct all of your mistakes.

The punctuation and lack of sentence structure made it impossible for me to tolerate until the ending. I "think" I would have enjoyed the story line if only I could have managed to stay with it. I agree, find an editor or, at the very least, someone to proofread your story.

Please get someone to edit your stories. People will at least give your story a chance. They won't skip over it like I just did after reading the first paragraph.

The start was confusing, as to who's who and what was going on. The story is great and deserves a ch 2, but I agree, you definitely need an editor!

Good luck.

Great story. Love the story line but good lord PLEASE find an editor, I'm sure there's a ton of other people here that would help you out.

Appallingly badly written, find yourself an editor, quickly! It detracted from what could have been a good story.

Grammar, spelling, punctuation were dreadful. The story was unreadable as a result

What a garbled mess. If you resubmit an edited version, I will read it then. Otherwise, forget it.

Seeing the title and description I was looking forward to reading this. However, after the first paragraph I knew it was going to be a tough read. I gave it a chance but after 3 or 4 paragraphs I had to give up. At a minimum it needs to be spell/grammar checked. Then dialogue fixed structurally and with quotes. Hope to see it again with a little more work into it.

I agree with everyone in that you need an editor. But, I VOLUNTEER TO BE YOUR EDITOR. Your story has great promise and I would be able to help you through the difficult parts.

One of the most difficult things is to attempt to read a story and not be able to understand exactly what you are trying to say. Most people will read a story and if there are too many problems, they will dismiss the entire story.

You need to have someone go through the entire thing and show you how to develop good writing skills. I am an English teacher and can see that you have promise, but if you don't find a way to improve your grammar, spelling, and content, you will see many negative responses to your writing. Nobody likes to read something that prevents the enjoyment of the story because of a complete inability to make sense of what the writer is trying to say.

Please look for a good editor who can help you. Again, I volunteer. I really feel that you have a good story here, but it is worthless until you find an editor.

It's a good story line, you do need someone to look over your work, but your basic work is great. Please keep writing. I am wondering where this may lead. So more please.

I liked, was once a teacher so bad spelling and grammar while annoying, no big deal.

I would have preferred more sex --STRAIGHT, M/M AND F/F AND 3 (OR MORE ) SOMES RATHER RATHER THEN JUST HIM SEEING THE VIDEOS.

Please get a proofreader. It is hard to keep reading when there are so many typos and grammatical errors. Interesting story line and I am intrigued enough to read more stories.

Dude this is fucking sketchy. Like hot sexually but the Dad is by far the creepiest motherfucker. Like he's insane and I'm guessing you are too cuz it seems like you really sympathize with that character. Incest is hot to all humans who will admit it but like creepy life control and shit wtf man I'm actually scared lol I feel like the dad is the type of dude who would watch me for years and kidnap me into sex slavery for years. You're some kind of freak pal I hope you get the help you need. Probably already in counseling of some sort but seriously you need Jesus dear fuck

great set up and textured characters. the misspellings were a bit of a distraction, but I made it to the end, and am now looking for more.

Nice set up and intriguing possibilities. Then the slide off the cliff to make it about a maniacal egomaniac that demands total control. Sick shit. Not interested. There's enough of that crap in the morning headlines.

What mindless shit. He takes the videos and photos, goes to the police and files a complaint about incest! Neither the father-in-law nor the mother-in-law nor the slut wife survived the public scandal! If he's finished with the lawsuit against the family, they'll be broke, and if I'm not mistaken, in prison. So why should he make such an idiotic decision? Because your imagination completely loses sight of reality and you only write for your horny fans!

Your spelling and grammar are horrible but your idea is intriguing and hot.