All Comments on 'Marie and John'

The story itself, while contrived, wasn't all that bad. However, the spelling and grammatical errors throughout the entire story made it impossible to focus and truly enjoy it. I found myself devoting a lot of mental energy to deciphering every tenth word- major buzz-kill.

Before submitting your work to the public I would wholeheartedly suggest that you put it past an editor and let them clean it up for you. Also, don't be afraid to put it through a spell-checker.

I also criticise the story-telling. The narrative was largely oblique and lacked nuance. Smell, color, taste, sights, sounds... don't be afraid to use them and describe them to the fullest extent.

Errors aside, Had me thinking that Mark was a VERY lucky dad.

Great story. To those people who have to read it and complian about grammer and spelling errors, FUCK OFF. Just read it and enjoy it, if you want to grade it go be a fucking teacher.

Thank you, I thought it was a great read.

It was great. I started reading and playing with my clit. By the time i was done reading i had four fingers in my pussy and was soaked. Bravo.

Wow! I was cumming so hard before he even got his daddy cock inside her pussy. I loved it.Keep writting their story.

this has got me sooo wet, i was bringing myself off as i was reading it, if a lovely hard cock had appeared in front of me i would have jumped on it

two humans past the age of consent....a very viable situation.

Despite the errors, this story is one of the best on this site. Definitely top ten.

You write very well - you don't spell well, but you write VERY well.

Hi, I didn't look as to when you wrote this story - a couple of thoughts: there was an excellent story within the bounds of the title; it became over-complicated when you introduced the gangbang/orgy part. The other thing, as someone else has noted is that you have multiple spelling and grammar errors. Many of the words are correctly spelt - just that they are the wrong word for the context. Never use a word processor spelling checker to proof your work - get an editor. Even the best authors do! Cheers.

The author was in his early 20s when he wrote it, and I sincerely hope that he turns his creatively filthy mind to further stories of the best, most intimate and exciting kind of fucking there is--family fucking. All kinds of fucking within the family are great--a boy sticking his stiff young prick up his mother's mommy-hole, a big brother ramming his fat brotherly cock up his kid sister's sweet little slit--in this story it's a father, John, who loves his Little Princess to bits, looking over his darling baby girl Marie and thinking, "My little girl's got an adorable little coochie there between her legs that could really use a good reaming out." He grins. "And who better to do that righteous job than her own daddy?" Then John takes his stiff fat veiny daddy-dick and shoves it up his daughter's cute little twat, fucks the shit out of her as she cums like crazy, and he finally blows his big daddy-balls up his baby girl's cunt, shooting her a great big twatful of the same sperm that made her. Love within the family is so beautiful.