Marion's in Love

"Clara Belle! Here girl. Come on. Good girl. Hop in your baskey. Good girl."

And with Clara Belle happily curled up in her basket set in front of the heater the attention turned to the two models and the new artist although not quite in equal measure. Kirsten had stripped off with no qualms and now stood with her left buttock against Bronwyn's right, their arms entwined above them fully extended.

Mrs. Kent, ever resourceful, had used ice cubes to "promote the nipple" and both girls sported organ stops as a result. Their feet were spaced with the front view unimpeded. Over at the side Rosemary had her new sketch pad and was trying to develop the stick figure she had sketched so diligently into something that might look like a beautiful young woman- choice of two. She was failing dismally.

It depressed her utterly. For all the excitement and sexual tension of the day she had harbored the belief that she could paint, that she had a natural artistic talent and look at this? She had to face facts she decided. She was no better at this than she was at anything else. No wonder she had lost Robert- she was hopeless in the bedroom too.

Kirsten saw her, the others watching Kirsten, turned to where she was looking. Margot, who was standing slightly behind Rosemary, put her brush down, scarcely believing her luck, and drew her into a compassionate hug. The others, seeing straight through her little ploy, stared at her with narrow eyes but none wanted to risk upsetting Rosemary and so they gathered round nodding appreciatively at something a seven year old would have torn up in disgust while managing to find words like 'a bold new perspective', 'an almost primitive yet somehow worldly approach' and even 'strongly linear in concept'. None of which made any sense to Rosemary but they seemed to like what she had done so maybe it wasn't so terrible after all.

She looked hard at her sketch; yes it was.

"I really can't paint for nuts."

The undeniable truth of her statement stopped them all in their tracks.

"So?"

"I want to. I want to paint. I want to be good at something."

Margot, having received a glance from Marion let Rosemary go and in a flash Marion took her place.

"We can teach you how to paint Rosie," Mrs. Kent told her", there are tricks to it so just relax. Here you just cuddle in to me and the girls can go back to posing while the other girls carry on painting."

And so Rosemary did as she was told cuddling into Marion and got cuddled back. They had moved away to the rear of the group- or at least Marion had moved them there and Marion was cuddling her very affectionately indeed. It felt wonderful and now she knew why she was so tense before; she hadn't come for the painting at all- she had come for Marion.

She had wanted, the instant she walked through the door, to be noticed and doted on and flirted with by Marion but she had just been polite not loving. That had crushed her. Now though, now was different, now was lovely and it would get even better if Marion felt like inviting her upstairs so they could be alone.

She glanced at the stairs and back at Marion feeling like a shameless flirt for doing do but Marion didn't seem to mind at all and next thing they were climbing the stairs to the lounge room. It was beautiful with expensive furniture and ornaments, all of which Rosemary took in and all of which spoke of a level of affluence she could only dream of but their owner was holding her hand and leading her through the dining room to the kitchen. And it was there, for the first time, that Marion kissed the woman who had tormented her thoughts since she had seen her that Saturday afternoon.

"I so hoped you'd come," she told her just after she kissed the tip of her cute little nose.

"Did you? I was on cloud nine from the moment you spoke to me. I would have signed up for guided tours through hell if you'd wanted but you didn't seem very interested when we got here tonight. Oh and what was that crap about Kirsten can get in free but its twenty bucks for me?"

"Would you like a refund?"

"No. I want another kiss."

"Expensive kiss."

"Worth it."

It was too and after they stood in each others' arms neither feeling particularly inclined to want to do anything else- for the time being at least.

'lovely outfit" Marion commented half a dozen lengthy smooches later.

'Did it myself, I wanted to tempt this gorgeous woman I met on Saturday; I wasn't sure she'd notice."

"Oh she noticed all right, don't you worry about that. I haven't been able to get you out of my head from the moment we met."

"Really?"

"Oh yes, and being hopeless me I didn't ring you or anything like that. No I just stewed and by the time this evening came round I had managed to convince myself that I had imagined the whole thing with us clicking and decided you had come for the painting."

"In a dress like this?"

"Well, no but by then me was so deep in my shell. Anyway you're here now and you're just as wonderful as I remember- better even and God I'm rambling aren't I?"

'I don't mind. My husband doesn't ramble on about me., in fact right now he's doing horizontal calisthenics with his PA I would think after taking her to dinner somewhere."

"Mine died and I do miss him but we either goes on with life or it carries on and we get left behind."

"He's carried on with his life and I need to as well. Is that what you're saying?"

"That is exactly what I'm saying. I'm kind of hoping I'm the one you want to carry it on with but I'm biased."

'Nothing wrong with bias. I've never had feelings for a woman before. Not an actual specific individual woman but I've been thinking for a while now I guess that maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing...and then you come along."

"Glad?"

"Very."

"So am I. I've been female only for about ten years now and for about ten years now I had waited to meet the right girl. I've got lots of dear close friends and had the most amazing sex too but that special one, the soul mate, I hadn't met her before. Look all I'm saying is go with it. You can't hurry love, like the song says, you can't compartmentalize it or calculate it or anything else it. Love is love and you either feel it or you don't."

"Wow."

"I go on a bit, don't I?"

"You're deep; I like a gal with depth."

"Stop teasing. Love me?"

"Of course. I loved you from the moment we met; I was just too scared to think it."

"I love you- from the same time too."

From downstairs voices floated up to them.

"What are those two up to?" Was asked very loudly.

"No idea. They're very quiet though," came the reply to much ribald laughter.

"We're coming!" Rosemary called out to a pause followed by shrieks of laughter.

She blushed bright red as she grasped her unintended double entendre.

"My goodness! And such nice respectable ladies too."

"We're not doing anything." She called down to them anxious to dispel any incorrect notions they might have about what was going on, or rather not going on, upstairs.

"Nor are we! Can we come up?"

She was in a state Marion was surprised to note. She took her in her arms and cuddled her.

"Hey baby, they're only having fun with us."

"No. No they think I'm a slut. They do. They think I'm a slut and I'm worthless and I dressed like this to seduce you. I'm not. You know, don't you? I'm not. I'm not a slut."

She had tears in her eyes and the sinews in her neck were standing out.

"Of course I don't think you're a slut and nor do they," there she thought, that should sort it.

"Yes they do. I think maybe I should go home now and maybe we could talk on the phone later on in the week."

"Really? You want to go home, now?"

This was unbelievable; seconds ago it was all systems go and now it was go home.

'What about Kirsten?"

"She can come with me - or stay- she's old enough to make up her own mind."

"But how will you get home?"

"I will walk thank you, we brought comfortable shoes and I will need my coat I expect."

In horror Marion stood and watched as the love of her life walked to the stair case and descended to the basement.

The cheers that greeted her appearance faded to silence as they realized she was leaving.

'Are you coming or staying?" she heard Rosemary ask her daughter coldly then "right" which Marion took to mean Kristen had decided to stay. A few seconds later the door closed and she had left.

"Oh thank you all so fucking much!" Marion shouted at the bewildered artists from the landing with a look of absolute horror on her face.

"What happened?'

"You happened. All that 'what are you two up to' rubbish. She thought you all think she's a slut. She wanted me to be proud of her and who can be proud of a slut. So now she's been humiliated and I don't know what to do and I'd just like you all to leave please. Not you Kirsten darling. Good night every one and sorry."

She was in tears. They were running down her cheeks and what the hell had happened? She couldn't have gone home, surely not. Meantime twelve sombre faced women slipped quietly out to their cars and drove Home.

Bronnie waited while Kirsten got her clothes then the two of them went up to Bronnie's bedroom where they both got dressed. They came out to join Marion for a coffee. She was on the deck, a cigarette in her hand and two stubbed out already in the ash tray.

Bronnie made the coffees and brought her mother's out to her. She put it on the table as her mother's hands were shaking too much for her to hold the mug without spilling it.After a long drag Marion exhaled and spoke, her eyes looking into the distance.

"I love her. I knew it from the moment I saw her. I told her, just now how much I love her, how much she means to me and she loves me too or at least she did ten minutes a go. What the fuck do I do?"

Neither girl was silly enough to answer such a question and shrugged in support. It was embarrassing sitting there with Marion and besides they had some major snogging to do.

"Would you like to offer Kirsten a nightie or pajamas to wear darling?"

"No. I'm sorry about Rosemary but we are going to have sex and then we will shower and fall asleep in each others naked arms and I will run Kirsten home early in the morning so she can get ready for her course. And you should go to bed."

"I guess. Thanks guys for joining me but you run along now and I'll see you in the morning."

They left and all three knew as soon as she was on her own she would start on the bourbon. When Bronnie popped her head out three hours later after neither of them could get into the mood for sex her mother was fast asleep with the once full 40 ounce Jack Daniels now half empty. She got a rug and put it round her mother, kissed her on the cheek and went inside.

It had been one hell of a day.

The light woke Marion the next morning. She was still sitting at the barb q table, or slouching to be accurate with the blanket round her. She thought of Kirsten when she realized she had the blanket over her and smiled at the thought of her caring but then her mind went to the subject of Rosemary and she was miserable again. Still, she had to get moving and so she got to her feet and went in to use the bathroom. Some time later she was in the kitchen preparing breakfast, showered and dressed for work while the girls slept on.

She left them a note and headed away at ten past eight. It was promising to be a very long day.

Rosemary had walked home, her coat pulled tight around her, feeling utterly miserable. They had been laughing at her, implying she was a slut when she wasn't. They hadn't even done anything, just kissed and cuddled, and here was them all saying, well as good as anyway, that she was a slut. Well she wasn't. Not really, she might have just wanted to let her hair down maybe but she wasn't a slut. Not that it mattered; she wasn't going to see Marion again and now there was going to be nothing at home. Not with Kirsten at the other place and Robert bonking his PA was all she deserved she decided as she approached the house.

The home of her dreams when she first saw it. Everything a young wife could hope for then. And now? It held no fond memories, or at least none she could remember. She put her key in the lock and the memory of those high hopes she had walking out flooded back and she slumped against the door. Only for a moment; she was all she had in the world and she had to be strong. No place for self pity when you're on your own. Face set she went in and locked the door behind her.

Briskly she went to the kitchen to make her sandwiches for her lunch the next morning, got her clothes organized then found her dullest nightie and cotton knickers to put on after her shower. That its self was quick and businesslike with no pleasurable moments. She dried herself quickly too put her sensible pajamas on and went to bed.

There she lay with eyes closed tight quite unable to sleep. At two o'clock she heard the garage door open; Robert was home. He normally slept in the spare room when he got home late but this time she heard Kirsten's door open which meant Bob was checking on her, then his quick foot steps to her door.

"Where's Kirsten?"

"She's having a sleep over, at Bronwyn Kent's place."

"On a Monday? Have you met the mother? Will Kirsten be safe there?"

"Yes, she seems sensible enough. Work goes well Robert? You must be tired. Can I get you something to eat?"

"No. No that's fine thank you. Look Rosie there's something we need to discuss."

'Oh yes? This sounds serious Robert, what is it honey?'

"Well it's about; it's about moving on Rosie. I've met someone Rosie and, well I'm not getting any younger and I think I deserve my chance at happiness. She's younger than me Rosie and she wants kids and I'd love to have a chance at a young family too. I was too busy the first time round and we only had the one, a girl."

She wanted to tell him what she thought but she was flat.

"If that's what you want Robert. Would you mind sleeping in the spare room tonight I'd really like to be on my own right now."

"Um. well, you see, what I was planning on doing was getting a few things for a day or so."

"And you're going to sleep with her tonight?"

"Yes. Rosie there is no need for an attitude- it hasn't been easy for me either you know."

"No. Well you take what you want Robert because what I find of yours in the morning I am going to put in a pile on the back lawn, douse it in petrol and set fire to it. Good night."

She went to sleep in Kirsten's bed while he cleared his things out and when she woke from what was a deep sleep all Robert's personal belongings were gone.

Nearly all and she didn't burn anything in the backyard that was just her trying to hurt him. The news was a relief. After all those months of clinging to false hopes it was out in the open. Marion was supposed to have been her door opening but after last night, well that wasn't going to happen.

Kirsten had nothing to wear she remembered. On the verge of ringing she remembered Kristen had made the choice to stay there so she could face the consequences and anyway, she had a key.

Her shower and breakfast were quick and the drive to work was too. The others wanted to know all about last night but she fended them off; not my scene she had told them came home early in fact. Something terrible had happened. Of that they were convinced. She refused to open up and by day's end they were none the wiser. She drove home to the empty house slipped her shoes off, lay on her bed and howled.

What was the point? Sleeping pills or was it sleeping pills and bourbon. It was a matter of swallowing enough down to do the trick. She only had a few left so that wasn't going to work. Maybe she could get a double lot tomorrow? Tell the doctor they were going away so she would need more to tide her over? Yes that would do it. She felt quite cheerful after that. It was all worked out so no need to worry about a life ahead of feeling like this because, she thought, thrilled at her own cleverness, there would be no life. She was making herself scrambled eggs when the phone went.

"Don't hang up," it was Mrs. Kent.

"Oh, hi?"

"Rosie!"

"Rosemary if you don't mind Mrs. Kent. How may I help?"

"You can come right back here and stop me feeling miserable Mrs. Pearson. That's what you can do."

"I'm not a slut Mrs. Kent although I fear I may have given you the wrong impression and naturally I apologize if I did that."

Oh for goodness sake! Grow up Rosie. Oh shit! No, no I didn't say that. Rosie darling please come round. Please? I promise I won't make any improper advances."

"Well only for a little while. I will be about forty minutes- presumably this won't take too long?"

"No. No, not too long. See you when you get here."

"Yes."

"Well," Marion thought, trying to find something positive from that awful exchange ", at least she's agrees to come over. That has to be something."

She made two more phone calls then went to choose her clothes. Nothing sexy, nothing over powering but not too casual either. She ended with a Designer top in lilac, worn loose over her dress jeans and the favorite Jimmy Choo boots. Her hair she wore up and she went for the barely there look with the makeup.

Her friends arrived a few minutes later and took over getting everything ready- so Marion could do some quality fretting.

Ten minutes later they heard a car stop outside, the sound of heels on the path then a faint knock. Just two taps. Marion, who was waiting at the other side of the lounge crossed the room into the foyer and opened the door. She tried a smile but Rosie simply nodded and looked at her inquiringly.

For all her frostiness Marion noted, looking to find more positives in a pile of darkness, Rosie had made an effort with her clothes- it was important to her too. Maybe that was something.

"Oh, this way Rosemary please. I hope you don't mind but I asked two of the ladies from last night to join us."

"Are they looking for a bit of fun with the slut Marion?"

"I don't see any sluts here Rosemary and I think you'll find they don't either. Come through please."

Rosemary walked tensely through to the dining room where the two women waited. She remembered them vaguely from the previous night.

"Rosemary may I introduce Diana and Jacqueline. Diana and Jacqueline may I introduce the woman I love Rosemary."

The words sent a flush through Rosemary who was just holding on. She hated herself, hated what she was doing but it was her lot to live a miserable life so get this over with and she could go back to being alone- as she deserved.

The chill she gave off stopped Diana and Jacqueline from hugging her and they ended up just nodding back then went to get the things for the supper glad to be out of sight of that stare. Marion meantime waited until the other two were seated before pouring.

"Every one helps yourselves to milk and sugar," she added in a voice which sounded a lot more confident than she felt.

They all put the milk in their coffees, Rosemary had a teaspoon of sugar in hers and Jacqueline, who never had sugar, put a bigger one in hers. No one spoke and Rosemary kept her eyes down. Marion could feel it all slipping away and sat looking dejected.

"Rosie," Diana had had a guts full, " Rosie what the fuck are you doing? Marion told us you thought we were laughing at you last night and we thought you were a slut. Is that right?"

The stare rose from the table top to Diana's face. She stared into her eyes and held them while she nodded.

Diana, fuming, stared straight back.

"Well did you ever think to do us the fucking courtesy of asking?"

Before their very eyes the impassive face crumbled and the sad eyes filled with tears. She looked down at her coffee which she stirred for the sake of having something to do.