All Comments on 'Mary and Me'

I like the bobby sox-as-sign-of sexual rebellion trope you pulled. In many ways, I agree with the quasi-free-love idea you've got for kids to understand what sex really can be if people play nice and fair.

However, learning sex technique's a lot quicker and easier than learning how to be with s/b as a good partner, not just a playmate.

I get your point that folks have no idea how to be good playmates in HS, much less partners yet. The guidance of Mom and Dad helped Mary and Ryan understand that.

It'd certainly improve on how 99.99% of us started our sexual lives if we had parental figures that were straight-up and cool with sex as they were in your story.

Thanks for sharing your fantasy of HS sex done better.

Ryan should realize his goal is to make merry,oops, Mary. Developing a relationship

based on what they have both experienced would make a good sequel.

so what happened between Ryan and Nola? I read through the whole thing just to find out and then....THE END ...more please!

Except for the business at the end with Principle Grimes, this was a wonderful moral tale. And FUNNY! As it should be. Hardly an incest story, since Mary and Ryan only talked about sex, as any siblings should feel free to do. And if they want to try things out with one another, that should be fine too, with precautions. Long, but I loved it.

PLEASE tell me the REST of this story is coming SOON!!!!

It isn't NEARLY finished......so many ways to go with the twins & their love lives.

LOVE the comdemnation of the "do gooders" that want to tell everyone how to live their lives.

WAY to much of that goin' around.......just sayin'

You can't... ermmm I mean shouldn't let it end here. Please continue this awesome story. Long? not even, I was looking for the next 8 pages, when it suddenly ended. Thanks for the great read.... Rigatony.-

I liked the story but why did the parents'/grandparents' name change at the end of the story?

Excellent job, well written. Hopefully, there will be many more chapters of this enlightened story.C5A6

There has to be MORE to this story...sure hope this is NOT the end...as it says!!!!!

Well it just had to happen. At last sex story from another prospective. A really good read and the instilling of taking care of your partner needs before your own, well done. I really like the way you brought good morals into the story line as well.

You really should not end the story here, it requires, nay, begs for further chapters.

Thank you again.

Len

This story is absolutely fucking amazing I must of cum at least a half dozen times. You really need to write more of this. I love the way that you didn't just make this story about sex and that you brought morals into it as well as telling people who haven't had sex before what they can expect from a first time.

I only have one tiny, tiny problem with the story and this may just be me but I did get a little lost on the last page with the talk between Maurice, Vivian and Joe. It was a little hard for me to tell exactly who was saying what. So I might suggest adding in something to the dialogue that tells you who is speaking or actually telling the reader who is actually talking. Other then this tiny, tiny problem it was an absolutely fantastic read.

I would love to read more of this story and find out if Ryan and Mary ever end up having sex (Seeing just how good Ryan's reputation is first hand) and finding out more with Ryan and Nola and her first time and reading how all that ends up. I beg and implore that you continue to write this series!!

Interesting story. Unfortunately it reads like a Brit trying to write a story set in an American high school. The students' dialogues and choice of words is just too unrealistic to be believable. Also hard to place the time frame. What decade did this supposedly occur in? The general level of sexual naivete suggests '70s or '80s, yet references to Victoria's Secret, thong underwear and the boys showing their ass crack by wearing loose hanging jeans suggests a more contemporary era. If the twins adoptive parents were in high school in the 1950's they would be in their 70's today.

Perhaps this story should have been submitted under First Time category rather than Taboo/Incest. There was very little in the way of actual taboo activity between the twins, and both Mary and the parents made it clear that would stay that way. Ryan, despite showing strong inclinations and desire for Mary, seemed all too willing to acquiesce. And the Ending ... what an abrupt disappointment. The Author leads us down the path for eight long pages, building anticipation of some sort of sexual resolution for Ryan - with Nola if not with his twin Mary - and then nothing of the sort! Poor Ryan doesn't even get a descriptive blow job. The girls upon whom Ryan performs foreplay and oral all rave and sing praise to his superior talents, yet we get little in the way of descriptive to enlighten the readers and support the author's premise.

I would give this story 4 or possibly 5 * except for the above. Spelling, grammar and general composition were all quite good (far above the par for literotica submissions). Also the premise and storyline were interesting and innovative, otherwise I would not have stuck it out for 8 pages just to be let down at the end!

Came for porn and this ain't it.

Not one Cock sucked, no cum, no wet pussy, no dripping cunt, wasup?

No throat gags, no loads swallowed, no eating out sister, or sucking brothers cock so he can learn how to fuck on sis's horny wet cunt.

Try again.

Roy and Kate or Maurice and Vivian. Authors started with one and changed names in middle then back to the first at the end. Too much jokes about people killing themselves. Don't think twins would like that after their dad committed suicide. No incest. Ok story tho. Think grandparents would be in their 80's. Don't think they would be that casual about sex

Forget the 'Anonymous' nay-sayers who do not have the nerve or temerity to leave their real names alongside their vitriol. This was a well-written and carefully-crafted story - albeit with a few minor flaws - that absolutely cries out for a sequel. Please accept my thanks at least for the enjoyment received from all 8 pages, and I look forward to seeing where you take these individuals in the future

look forward to the next installment. Really think Ryan should be the one to take his sister's virginity. Perhaps do both Mary and Nora together.

big time.

So many things I didn't like about this story

No incest

Pretentious

Preachy

Unplausible character develpment

Crappy dialogue

Too bad I can't rate 0 stars.

Started this story with Nola Sue and nothing happened there.. Nothing really happened with Mary.... Too long with no punch...

interesting concept. and as for not being good, if i start a story and don't like it, i stop reading it and find one here that i do like.

if they didn't take pleasure in trying to cut someone down, they would of found a different story.

there is constructive and non constructive grips. pay attention to the ones that can help you, and ignore the rest.

more please.

I enjoyed it very much and feel that it was well thought out and had a good pace to it. Yes, it had some errors in it, but the quality of the story made those errors easy to overlook. The one thing that did jump at me was that Max revealed who Jane's secret lover was, but how did Max learn who it was?

You get five stars from me and favorited story and author.

THANK YOU!!!

How can that be the end of the story Nola is still a virgin and so is Mary. I would love to see where the story goes from here besides being 'The End'

Good story, hopefully it will continue.

I really liked this story, hopefully you'll give it a few more chapters this long.

Total rubbish by a wanker

Boy oh boy, I just wish someone had talked to me, as Ryan and Mary's parents talked to them. If I had had the knowledge, and the forethought brought to me as an intelligent conversation. instead of," we know you know what condoms are for, so use them like you should." and that was the extent of any conversation I ever had with my parents, my first wife and I may have done it correctly. and waited until married or at least with protection.

Thank You for an excellent story sir, intelligent and funny, wow. I appreciated everything about your tale. INCLUDING THE SEX

This story contains no incest, is non erotic..wasted my time..and yeah, i have right for a sex ed. class too. poor read.

It's a real shame that all 'rents aren't as enlightened, and that educators don't, as a rule, do what they are paid to do. excellent "tail" (:)

Today I read two stories on Literotica that were both entertaining, thought provoking, and caused me to reflect back on my high school and university days.

This one took me back to review the lives/divorces and years of marital unhappiness that many of my high school/university friends experienced. This story has a very interesting sociological/societal lesson in it. Sadly, many of my/our generation have lived with unjustified unhappiness because they didn't step into their first long term relationship with the skills and knowledge they needed to make the right decisions in choosing that partner.This story is one I would want my teenagers to read and talk with me about afterwards.

The description of "under the bleachers/backseat sex" and how young women and men are so lost in their path to find true intimacy and love because of a misguided combination societal and hormonal pressures really hit home with me.

The paragraph describing the erroneous expectations that fathers are expected to have of their daughters suitors was refreshing, especially when it flip flops to their sons and how they relate to girls was well written. Simple sentences, yet significant societal/moral commentary

I would like to read more.

Crap. Your arrogance shows by your not being able to bring a story to an end sooner. A good read is not a forever read. Don't write again please.

When i looked this up, i was not expecting a whole novel. Even so, i enjoyed it. However, i am vastly disappointed in its ending. Ryan never got to fuck the girl who educated him in the first place. Not only that, it leaves too many unanswered questions. This story needs to be contined. Until then, i only give it a 2 star rate. It was good, but in the end, disappointing..

This is only the second time in years that I have rated a story or offered feedback. This is a work of literature. Commentary about educators was spot on. I hope you will publish a lot more.

Wow, on a scale of 5 I would rate this as an 8. So enjoyed this story and the build up was great. Thank you

Such a wonderful story, but it is so far from being over. I gave your wonderful work 5 stars, but considered less. There was so many ways to handle the principal that didn't have to be aggressive and filled with threats, although most school administrators are quite like you describe.

Anyway, here are humble questions/suggestions for you to consider to give us a revised submission.

1. Although Ryan and Mary only messed around a bit, consider allowing that relationship to blossom a little more. The new found love they have developed for each other shouldn't be an afterthought so that the story could be put in the Incest/taboo section. Perhaps not intercourse, but maybe a little more with the petting and oral stuff.

2. Allow the snitch to find out Ryan's newly found prowess. That will shut her up for sure.

3. Nola is such an important character. Shouldn't she be allow to be deflowered? After all, a significant part of the story was Ryan learning from "Annie" how to do it and make this a great experience. Mary didn't lose her virginity either. It is inferred.

4. Robbie got his just rewards for being a bully. Maybe a little redemption with Sue Ann, where he learns whats going on sexually.

There are many more possibilities.

This is such a well written story, great plot, well developed characters, etc. If you felt like it was getting long and just wanted it ended, its sad for the readers. In a way I feel conned into spending my tme reading only to be left wanting. To be honest, I don't read erotica just to get a nut...I read for the artistic value of the story and to get motivated to get that orgasm. Most of the time, I shut down after I find out the story is not edited properly, or if the structure, plot, and character development are improperly handled. You suceeded to do everything well, but the ending. It was like really getting emotionally into a television series only to have the network cancel the series and doing a wrap-up that doesn't make sense or ending it at the end of the season with a cliff-hanger.

I haven't submitted a story on Literotica yet, but have written more than thirty stories that have been published either on the Alt.Sex.Stories news threads or other erotic story sites.

I appreciated your effort, but I knew something was amiss when mom and dad went into the principal's office.

I plan on reading other submissions if you have written any. Good luck in the future.

I'm not going to give you a line by line criticism because it isn't merited. Geesh!! This story clearly needs to go on, and I'm sure it will be excellent.

The first four pages were excellent. Then you went off on a tangent and did not really finish the story. This is why a lot of people are asking for a part 2. The second half of the story didn't wrap up the first time story or incest properly, It was kind of bad. I gave it a 3 because the first half was at least a four so I averaged it out. .

I enjoyed what you have written in anticipation of you building towards some incest and a possible romance between Mary & Ryan. You did promise the story was to be continued and I would love to read further chapters. Do you think you could get your mind to work on keeping your promise?

Where's the continuation?

Don't you think that a 9 year hiatus is a bit much?

Not bad, silly at times