Massage Mat Ch. 07

"C'mon," she said, grabbing Beth's hand. "That equipment guy works with our team, too. I know him...I bet we can get him to let us see Jason." She pulled Beth into the aisle. "Dad, I'll text you as soon as we have news."

"Be careful," Mark said as the two women vanished into the crowd.

Beth sprinted to keep up with Leah, who was moving briskly through the crowd, bodying people out of her way. Finally they arrived at a roped-off corridor at the end of the arena. A small crowd of people had gathered.

"This is where they come off the ice and into the dressing room," Leah told her. "He'll come by here for sure." Beth wasn't sure she wanted to see...but she knew that she had to.

"Do you have a pen?" Leah was asking. Beth rummaged in her purse and found one. Leah took out her ticket stub and began writing on it furiously.

"Here they come!" someone called. Beth looked and saw a small cortege of trainers and doctors wheeling Jason off the ice. Soon, they were passing right in front of her.

"Jason," Leah shouted, "Hang in there." Jason looked around, dazed.

"Over here, Jason Miller Ice Hockey," Leah called. Immediately a huge grin flashed across Jason's face. His head was tied down, so he couldn't turn, but he moved his eyes and saw Leah.

"Jason," his mother called, "I'm here too." Jason raised one arm and gave them a weak thumbs-up and a wave.

"Fuzzy," Beth heard Leah calling to one of the long-haired older men. "It's me. Leah—from the lacrosse team."

The older man stopped and came over to Leah.

"Fuzz," she said quickly, "That's my boyfriend. This is his mom. Let us go see him."

Fuzzy shook his head. "You know we can't let no one in the room, Miss Leah. I'd lose my job for sure." Leah frowned.

"Ok. Then can you do me a favor?" she pleaded. "Here's my phone number. As soon as you know something can you call me and let me know how he's doing?" She handed the ticket stub to the man.

"You can take that to the bank Miss Leah, but don't you worry none. That Miller kid is a tough little fucker. I bet he be back out there kickin' some ass next period," Fuzzy said smiling toothlessly. "But I let you know. I promise," he added as he hurried after Jason.

"Fuzzy is the best," Leah explained to Beth as they headed back to their seats.

The next few minutes were an agony of suspense as they waited for word. Finally, just as the third period was going to start, Leah's phone buzzed. She looked down.

"Ok," she told Beth and her dad, "Fuzz texted. He says...what the fuck," Leah broke off, squinting at the screen. Beth grabbed the phone and looked.

"nuthing broke but maybe concusion takeing him to memoreal hospitel for obsurvateon over night."

Leah looked at Beth. "Fuzz was never an English major," she explained unnecessarily.

Beth looked at Mark. "I've got to get to that hospital," she said simply.

"Of course, Beth," Mark said. "We'll all go."

When they arrived at the hospital, they learned that Jason hadn't even been checked in yet. They sat down to wait, but the long day's activities began to wear on Beth, and she soon fell asleep.

"Dad," Leah said to her father, "Why don't you take Mrs. Miller back to her hotel? I can stay here until Jason gets in. He'll probably be asleep until morning anyway. It's not going to do any good for all three of us to stay up all night."

"That's a good idea, honey," replied her dad. He gently woke Beth and explained Leah's idea. It took some persuasion, but Beth soon realized that Leah was right—and thought that Jason could do a lot worse than to have that girl standing by when he woke up. Reluctantly, she allowed herself to be guided into Mark's car.

As they drove away, Mark cleared his throat. "Beth, I don't want to seem too forward or anything, and I'll take you wherever you want to go. But why don't you come and stay at our place tonight? If Jason wakes up or if you want to go back to the hospital in the morning I'll just have to pick you up anyway. If you stay at our house we're a lot closer to the hospital and it would save a lot of time."

Beth was too emotionally spent to object, and the idea of being closer to the hospital appealed to her. In a few minutes, they were sitting in Mark's family room. Ironically, Beth found that even though she was exhausted, she was too wound up to sleep. Mark saw that she needed to talk, and thought he could help.

"Let me get you some comfortable clothes—Leah has a bunch of stuff and I'm sure we can find something for you. Come upstairs and we'll see what we can scrounge up," he said cheerfully. Beth realized that he was as warm and as genuinely good as his daughter.

Beth followed him up the stairs and into what apparently Leah's room, though it looked like it had been uninhabited for quite some time. Mark rummaged fruitlessly through a couple of drawers, then abruptly stopped.

"Hang on a sec," he told Beth. "I know just the thing." He headed down the hall and Beth followed as he opened the door to what was obviously his room.

Except...

She stopped in the doorway, thunderstruck. It was obviously Mark's room...but it looked like the bedroom of a married couple, with both men's and women's clothes strewn about. Mark disappeared into the bathroom and returned with some gym shorts and a t-shirt.

"We just did the laundry today," he said simply, "These are Leah's and they're clean...I hope they fit"

"I'm sure they'll be fine," Beth said, turning away so he couldn't see the suspicious expression on her face. "Where shall I change? Maybe just in the bathroom?" she asked innocently. She had to get to the bottom of this.

"Sure. Make yourself at home," Mark said innocently, "I'll just go down and get us a couple glasses of wine. Do you like white or red?" he asked.

"I usually take red, but either would be fine," Beth said, closing the door behind her.

She changed quickly, and then did a little snooping in the bathroom drawers. She felt terrible for abusing his generosity and openness, but she had to find out. "God forgive me," she thought to herself, opening the vanity.

And then she knew.

There could only be one explanation why shaving equipment, "Just for Men" hair color and boxes of tampons would all be in the same cabinet. There were two hairbrushes with dark and blonde hair in them, two toothbrushes...two of everything. Then the other vanity drawer. Make up, and a small prescription bottle. Viagra. "Take one tablet one hour before sexual activity," the label read. As she left the bathroom, Beth glanced toward the bed, and seeing the Magic Wand vibrator tucked underneath was the icing on the cake.

So. Sweet little Leah and daddy were living together like husband and wife. No wonder it made such good sense for them to have a house together. It all made perfect sense.

She went downstairs and sat on the sofa, taking the glass of wine from Mark. She smiled as he settled into a comfortable chair across from her. "What a long day," he sighed, "and yours was longer than mine."

"Mark," Beth said softly, I think we need to talk. We DO have a lot in common..."

==================================

Fifteen minutes later, a shaken Mark Rubin answered his phone. He listened for a moment, then said, honey, she's right here. You can talk to her now... Oh great, just put him on." He turned to Beth. "It's for you," he said softly, handing her the phone.

Beth smiled and took the instrument. He saw that she was unfazed by their mutual revelations, while he... He quickly downed another glass of wine as Beth gazed at him.

"Hello?" she queried.

"Mom? It's me, Jason," she heard her son's voice. It was a little weak and tired sounding, but it was him. "Leah's here, and she let me use her phone."

"Jason, are you ok?" she asked.

"Basically, yes," he replied. But my head hurts like hell." There was a muffled conversation in the background. "I'm going to let Leah tell you what's up, ok? I just want to sleep right now."

"That's fine, sweetie, you get some rest and I'll see you in the morning," Beth said. She paused.

"He's ok, Mrs. Miller. Scout's honor," Leah assured her. "The nurse let me stay until he woke up, but now they're going to knock him out again, so I'm going to come home. And Jason's going to be out of here tomorrow or I'm going to kick his sorry ass." Beth heard his son laughing weakly in the background.

"Ok. Thanks for everything, Leah. You're wonderful," she said, handing the phone back to Mark. He listened.

"Ok, baby, do you have money? I can pay when you get here, too. Oh, ok. We'll see you in a few minutes, then. Bye." He turned to Beth. "Leah's taking a cab home," he explained. He drained another glass of wine at a single gulp. "Um, Beth," he said, his speech a bit slurred, "Let's keep our conversation just between us, ok?" Beth smiled.

"Of course, Mark," she said, "Jason and I have our arrangement, and you and Leah need to work things out for yourselves. I'm very happy that you agree with me that the kids need to have their own lives too, though."

"Absolutely. This whole thing is just...I mean...I never meant for it to start like it did and then it's just continued. It's so wonderful, but it can be hell, too," he just looked at Beth and shook his head. She came over and patted him on the shoulder.

"Believe me, I understand completely," she said sincerely. "Heaven and hell in one tidy package."

Mark smiled wryly. "I just wish..." he broke off abruptly as the door opened and Leah walked in. When she saw Beth wearing her gym clothes she stopped short.

"Hi," she said softly to Beth, casting her eyes down, "I didn't think you'd be here when I called. I didn't dtell you on the phone, but the coach and practically the whole team came by. They won the game, too." She headed up the stairs, then turned back. She looked ready to cry.

"The nurse said that they'd probably let him come home tomorrow around noon if everything went as planned, she added softly." Then she turned to her father and said casually, "Um, dad, could I see you upstairs for a minute? There are a few things I want to get ready for Mrs. Miller."

"Excuse us, Beth," Mark and headed upstairs with his daughter. Beth sipped her wine and relaxed.

She heard a murmured conversation, ending with an exclaimed, "What?" from Leah. Suddenly she heard a door slam and then heard Leah's voice. It was Leah's angry voice—the one she had heard on the phone, and at the hockey game.

"You fucking idiot. So why didn't you just show her a video of us doing it? How could you be so goddamn stupid as to bring her in here and give her my clothes out of your bathroom?" Mark's voice stammered a soft reply.

"No, I'm not going to calm down. I know this doesn't mean anything to you, but I really care about Jason...and now...now his mother must think I'm...that we're..." Silence, then the soft murmur of Mark's voice.

"Goddamn you, to hell. Can't you see how horrible this is?" Beth heard Leah wail. She heard another door slam, then there was a pause. "And no, I'm not going to be sleeping with you tonight." A climactic slam seemed to signal that Leah had retired for the evening.

Mark came down the stairs. "Leah's a little upset from her day," he said softly. "I think she...well, Beth, why don't you sleep in my bed and I'll come down here on the sofa?"

"I wouldn't think of it," Beth replied. "First of all, I'm going to fit on this sofa a lot better than you, and second of all, I'm probably going to be pacing around most of the night like a worried parent anyway. Please, Mark, go to bed and get a good night's rest. Everything will seem better in the morning."

She got up and pushed him toward the stairs. He went up and returned in a few minutes with some sheets, a blanket and a pillow, then retreated to his own room, clearly the worse for wear.

Beth settled on the sofa. With the covers and pillow it was very comfortable and she knew she could pass the night easily. She turned off the light and settled back. Sleep, however, would not come. Her thoughts raced from Jason to her conversation with Mark to what she had overheard of Leah's anguished cries.

Of all of it, she was the most concerned about Leah at the moment. She knew Jason was getting top-notch care, and that she'd see him in the morning. He had sounded tired, but like his normal self. Fuzzy had been right. He was a tough little fucker.

Mark, well, he had a lot of sorting out to do, but that wasn't her problem. Leah, on the other hand... Beth truly admired and cared for that young woman, and she knew her son loved her. It had pained her to see the guilty look on Leah's face. She knew that Leah suspected that she had divined the guilty secret. If there were only a way to talk with her...

Beth heard footsteps upstairs, padding softly down the hall. A toilet flushed, and there was the sound of running water. Then more padding footsteps, this time with some sniffles mixed in. The footsteps and sniffles continued for quite a while. Finally, Beth made a decision.

Moving to the foot of the stairs, she called up.

"Leah, is that you, sweetie?" she called. Could you come down here, please? I'm really upset and I need someone to talk to."

The footsteps stopped abruptly. Silence, as though the pacer paused to consider options. Then, a decision: the footsteps began to descend the stairs. Beth flipped on the light as Leah came into view. She looked horrible. Her eyes were red, and she sniffled, wiping her nose on the back of her arm.

"I'm sorry. I'm a mess right now," Leah began. "It's been a rough day."

"I know, sweetie," Beth said. "Come and sit next to me." Leah slumped onto the couch. "So tell me what's wrong," Beth said simply.

"It's just been a long day," Leah said. "I don't really feel like talking about it."

"Well, just as you like," Beth replied, "but it always helps to talk things out. Even when it's difficult." She handed Leah a corner of the sheet, and Leah blew her nose. Beth took a deep breath.

"I hope you don't mind that I borrowed your clothes," Beth continued, looking straight at Leah. Leah shook her head.

"No, not at all. I think they might be a little tight—I'm sorry about that," Leah replied a bit nervously.

"Well, it's just that...um, I heard how upset you were with your dad for loaning me your clothes. I felt like I should apologize since you were so angry," Beth continued, seemingly oblivious to Leah's growing discomfort.

"No, no," Leah stammered, "I'm not angry with you at all. It's just that...well...I didn't think my dad should have been dragging you through our house."

"Oh," Beth said evenly, "You were concerned that I shouldn't see something upstairs?"

Leah felt nauseous, and for a minute she thought that she would throw up. She simply sat silently.

"Leah," Beth said after what seemed like an eternity, "Just so you know. I could care less where you sleep or who you sleep with. I think you are remarkable young woman, and nothing is going to change that."

Leah looked at her bug-eyed. "What are you saying?" she asked softly.

Beth cleared her throat. "Well, I'm not sure. Let's see if I can get it all organized. First of all, I know you're a good person." Leah only shook her head negatively.

"No, Miss Leah, I'm afraid I have to go with my gut on that one. You're a good person, " Beth continued. She paused. "Um, second of all, I'm pretty sure you're in love with my son. The 'I'm his girlfriend' line you gave to Fuzzy sounded awfully natural—like you were pretty comfortable with that idea." Leah smiled.

"Ok," she said dryly, "I'll give you that one."

"Good," Beth continued, "Two for two. Shall we go for three?" Leah just stared morosely. "Yes, of course," Beth went on breezily, "Third time's the charm. Well, I'm pretty sure my son loves you." Again, Leah shook her head "no." Beth went on, "Ok. We'll keep that one on the back burner and assume that you know him better than his mother."

Leah stammered, "Oh no, Mrs. Miller, I didn't mean..."

Beth interrupted her, "Like I said, we'll keep that one on the back burner. Now for the big payoff. The $64,000 question..." She stopped and looked directly into Leah's eyes. "Are you in love with your father?"

A mixture of intense pain and horror crossed Leah's face.

"Oh yes, darling Leah, I know," Beth said softly.

Leah began weeping. Suddenly her body heaved and she retched, vomiting all over herself and the sheet. She looked down at herself, soiled, covered with filth. And she knew that was how Beth would always see her.

"Death would be a blessing," she thought, "Why can't I just die?"

She saw Beth looking at her, but with such a funny expression on her face. It was... Why was she smiling? Beth reached out and hugged Leah, pulling her close, not caring about the vomit that covered her.

"Oh yes, darling Leah, I know," Beth repeated softly. Then she pulled Leah close and whispered in her ear, "And I don't care. Not one bit. Not at all. We all get in difficult situations sometimes, especially if we have a great capacity for love. You are #1 in my book, Miss Leah." That was the last straw. Leah's defenses came crashing down, and she wrapped her arms tightly around Beth.

"You can't..." she began. Then she was wailing uncontrollably, her body heaving as she was wracked with sobs. She lost all control, with tears, snot and drool all pouring out of her and covering Beth. Beth continued to hold her and rock her back and forth—just like her mother used to do.

Leah remembered her mother. How could it have come to this? What would her mother think of her sleeping with... The shame and anguish of that thought unleashed another round of slobbering sobs.

Finally, she cried herself into exhaustion and slumped against Beth. Beth kissed her hair and continued to hold her.

"I don't understand," Leah said softly, "how can you say that you don't care about...about THAT?"

"Maybe it's because I can see that there's more to you than that," Beth said into her hair. Then she took a deep breath. "Or maybe it's because I've been down that path, too."

Leah froze.

"So. Now what, Leah?" Beth challenged her. "Do you think I'm a worthless piece of trash now?"

Leah grabbed Beth even tighter and just shook her head "no" again. "You're the most wonderful person I know," she said sincerely.

"Even though I'm an...I don't know the word...an 'incestress?'" Beth finally brought it into the open. Leah pulled back and stared at Beth, incredulous.

"An 'incestress?'...you...incest?" she whispered.

"Yes, of course," Beth said simply. "Just like you."

"Incestress?" Leah repeated.

"Yes. Or 'incestrix.' I don't know the correct terminology for 'woman who commits incest.' But whatever that term is, that's me." Then she smiled and added, "And you, right?"

Leah was still trying to comprehend. "Um. Yeah. Right. I'm an incestr...whatever. You DO mean incest, as in sex with a family member, right?"

Beth giggled, "That is the definition of the term 'incest' is it not?" she asked rhetorically.

"But, but...what family member could you..." Leah's voice trailed off and she stopped as though struck by a thunderbolt. "Oh, shit...no...no, no, no. No fucking way...no motherfucking way..." Leah broke off again.

Beth made a wry face. "That, dear Leah, is a very unfortunate turn of phrase in my case." Leah continued to stare, dumbly. Then she began to laugh, softly at first, then more fully until she was convulsed with laughter.

"You mean that I've been dying worrying that you're going to hate me for having sex with my father, and all the time you and my boy—well, my want-to-be-boyfriend. You can't fucking make this up," Leah giggled.

"Well, you could, but no one would believe it," Beth giggled in spite of herself.

"Christ," Leah said making a face, "we're a fucking mess." She held her t-shirt away from her body. It was covered with vomit, snot and several fluids she couldn't immediately identify.