All Comments on 'Matriarch Reliever Pt. 01'

Waiting for next part

I hope part 2 is soon.

Good start. Looking forward to chapter two!

Hope this isn't a tease. Excellent start.

Stay tuned, I'll have the next part up either tonight or tomorrow. It's my first time posting, I wanna make sure the next part is great quality. Thanks for the support, keep reading, and let me know about any changes you find constructive.

Great start looking forward to the next chapter.

Good start, but I look for stories that get somewhere at least, even if they're parts of a longer story.

You obviously are laking in the vocabulary department. When discribing a set of breasts refering to them as "homley, overt" ...what, homley means ugly, and overt isn't even an adjective! Then to go on and discribe their form being reshaped like a bag of melted butter. .?.. Have you ever actually touched a pair? I'm a paramedic and have seen and felt hundreds of tits. Never, even on a 90 y/o women will you find tits that are so mailable that they could be discribed as "like a bag of melted butter"! Don't ever try to write again until you have a clue what you're writing about. *1

I appreciate the feedback, sincerely I do. I've noticed that it's hard to get critical feedback from an audience because I think most don't want to criticize, but I respect someone who just tells me straight up where I'm wrong.

I usually don't do this, but just response to your comments. I realized the "bags of melted butter" description was strange, corny at best. I'll try to be more rigorous in the editing process next time, this is my first entry. I too am an EMT-B, so I've seen some action on my part. Thanks for pointing that out.

In my defense, my dictionary (Dictionary.com) described Homely: simple but cozy and comfortable. And Overt is actually purely an adjective, it means: done or shown openly; plainly or readily apparent. I did use that one in more of a reference to size though, so I see where I messed up.

Thanks again

i like the way you build up the story with lots of love,emotion and passion and including the foot fetish in that is fantastic