All Comments on 'Maureen's Abduction Ch. 03'

or about a page or so into this ch, it just went to hell.. and by that i mean it seems like the author lost track... i would LIKE to say it was a "TRAP" ending or a "twist" ending... but it didnt even have a "twist"... honestly i can say this was one of the most dissatisfying storys i have read so far...

started great, ended... well horribly (and not really ended even)...

I thought this story had a huge amount of promise, and could have been a lot longer, I can think of a dozen different plot paths it could have gone on, the first two chapters were quite interesting, but it seemed like the author ran out of steam and ended it like something out of Rambo, and even than it wasn't consistent. I totally didn't buy that the daughter who couldn't even fight off the guy in the second chapter became some sort of cold blooded killer, than suddenly both children decided to join the slavers after killing a dozen of them to get free all the while pronouncing "the shit ends today!" and Amanda turning around and being so helpful just because she had a hankering for Marks dick? Sorry I have to agree that it ended as a muddled mess.

I have to side with the two previous posts. This definitely comes off as having no definite plot outline as to what you really wanted to get across. The last two paragraphs could have been the complete story and it would have been better than what lead up to it. It was a rush job and reflects poorly, for me personally, of what to expect from you as a writer in the future. Now, I'm not going to bash you completely, as the first two chapters of Maureen's Abduction really catered to my mixed taste, and I commend you for that. Nevertheless, you are being bookmarked as an author of interest. Take care.

It should have ended happy and it really pissed me off when the twins fucking stayed, I mean they went through all that just to stay with a slaver because she had big tits? And what happened to Mary being jealous over mark? And even worse was how she discovered the parents involvement, seriously why couldn't they just call the slavers and say its a misunderstanding? WTF?! no fuck that and fuck you!!!!!!

The end really shocked me, but I truly enjoyed this story a lot. It was wonderful. I hope to read more of your writing soon!

Thank you again!

I loved this story! Thank you for an excellent read.

That was a great story I loved reading it I couldn't take my eyes off of it

Never read a story like this and it was good!

What happens afterwards???

I had mixed opinions. I had to keep reading in order to find out what happened. But at the end I was hoping for something more realistic

That is one fucked up ending. Need something more. But still good.

Since her whole world turned upside down does she end up going back?

An extreamly buzzar story.

I'd love to read more, that's an unfair ending!!

You had a good line there going. Every evil person was dead or dying. Maureen, Mark, and Mary had all chosen their path. They wanted servitude but Maureen wanted freedom and no one got what they wanted. Amanda was barking orders, even though Mary was dressed as a 'Handler' and Maureen discovered her mother was a branded slave, so that probably made her father the Master/Owner/Buyer. This ending is screwed up.

You had a really suspensful story going there until the ending. In fact, it really wasn't an ending at all. We are never allowd to know, but, was Daddy in on her abduction? Was she captured running down the street? Since Amanda, Mary, and Mark seemed intent on usurping leadership at the slave training center would Maureen be returned and be safe? Would she be returned and killed, killed instantly?Just how extensive is this slave network? Obviously it includes the small town police, but how far beyond?I think you've either screwed up the ending, or left it undone - which is screwed up in and of itself.

A great story. Really twisted in parts. Was an enjoyable read!

That was amazing!! Mary really turned out to be a badass!!!! I truly enjoyed this series, but am sad that it's over. I'd love to read more, maybe about Mary becoming a handler, or maybe even Maureen returning and becoming a mistress like Amanda. Incredible turn of events, would have loved to see John made to serve. Maybe have Mary be his handler, or Maureen, talk about a twist!! Anyway, I'm a huge fan of this series, great job!

Well written as usual and that was a satisfying ending ... I still would have preferred for Maureen to have been snuffed somehow though.

Great story. LOVED the end!! What a shocker!!!

Mixed feelings.

Wow, a slavery story where the captive realistically fights back with some good results. I gotta give the author points just for that. I got a thrill reading about them taking out all the people who'd done Maureen wrong. The twist was nice though not entirely unexpected so that was some well done foreshadowing. I'd long suspected that Maureen's family was connected to the organization in some way. I'm disappointed Maureen didn't make sure John Smith was dead. Dumbest shit ever to leave behind a breathing enemy who might alert his allies and make things difficult for you. The ending in general felt botched though. Mark and Mary did a 180 from murking a bunch of goons to working for the organization. Also, what if Maureen decided to grab some evidence and try to expose the organization to the whole world? I mean, this isn't some run-of-the-mill crack peddling operation in downtown Detroit where people know it happens, people kinda know who's doing it, but no-one cares. This kind of thing is like a pedo-ring, but way worse. Just a small leak is enough to cause massive problems. Assuming this story is set in a world which, on the surface, resembles ours, (and there's no evidence to the contrary), the trio or even just Maureen could have catastrophically fucked things up for them by going public.

Great! Well told tale, I couldn't wait to read the next chapter. Thank you.