McKinley Manor Pt. 01

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He wished he could see her in all her radiant glory but for now he was reasonably content with his dreams and sketches. He stood, stretched and went down to the kitchen to get a drink.

Gretschen was naked beneath her sheets, fingers stroking in and out of her wet slit. She was so turned on, why did she have to indulge like that...She knew alcohol did this to her and knew it would be hard to relieve without Rick home.

She froze as the hall light flicked on and crept under her door. She listened, Jacob was up, he might be having another nightmare. Gretsch got up, rinsed her hands off, wrapped her robe around herself and walked down the hall to Jacob's room.

She knocked gently but there was no answer so she eased the door open. An open drawing tablet and pencils lay on the desk and but no Jacob. She crossed the room to see what he had woken up to draw. Her eyes went wide and she started flipping pages.

Jacob made his way up the stairs, thirst quenched, intent on completing his sketch so he could sleep. He froze, his door was open, he knew he had closed it. He slowly approached his room and saw his worst imagining unfolding before him. She was looking through his sketch book. He felt his face get hot, he should have put it up even just for the moment he would be gone. Now she would hate him, make him leave, maybe even call the cops although he wasn't sure what that would do.

He ducked his head to leave when she caught the movement.

"Jake?" There it was again. Jake. He held still waiting for the wrath.

It never came. He looked up at her. She actually smiled.

"You've been holding out on me. Your shading here is beautiful and the forms are much more natural. I'm impressed." She scolded him but in a teasing manner. She was...amused.

"You...you aren't angry? You aren't going to throw me out or punish me?"

"Why would I punish talent? I can see that this subject matter is something you can focus on. You see it clearly in your mind and it translates well to paper, the contouring and shading are impeccable."

"You like them?"

"I do. I see that this man represents you but it's not a fair depiction, you're broader in the chest and your arms are more defined. The woman here is fairly accurate to life, give or take, but you always obscure her face or leave it out of the frame. Is this because you don't know who she is?"

"No. It is because I know all too well who she is." Jacob said softly. He approached her and took the notebook from her hands, flipping pages until he came to a frontal view of the woman straddling the man, riding him hard with his hands on her breasts. He pulled a second pad from his desk and flipped a few pages to a picture she had seen before. It was a head and shoulders sketch of her tilting her head with her eyes closed he had shown her that morning asking on advice on shading the face. He laid it above the other sketch and the images melded into one. She was riding him, hard, her head tilted sideways in bliss. She could feel the tingling in her body, she knew that feeling.

Jacob hung his head in shame, he had admitted his biggest secret to the one person he least wanted to hurt. He stood behind her and to one side, looking at the image over her shoulder. He was close enough he could feel the warmth radiating from her skin, she was trembling slightly. He could smell her perfume but it smelled different from earlier in the night, it had a musky undertone to it now. It smelled more seductive and intoxicating than anything he had ever been exposed to in his life. He breathed in deeply, and realized to his horror, that his member was stiffening and he was in boxers and a shirt.

Her head was spinning, her heart racing and she could feel his breath tickling her neck. She was so turned on that this young man that could have any girl he chose, was drawn to her so strongly. What could she do? She wanted to help him. She and Rick had agreed long ago that she would be permitted to take a lover if the loneliness got to be too much, on the condition he was clean and not trying to break up their marriage. This qualified, did it not? She decided to test the waters.

"Jake?" Twice in one night. He was tenting badly. "Please...tell me something."

"Anything." Jake rumbled, he might as well put it all out there.

"Have you ever seen a woman in the nude?" That was unexpected.

"I've watched some pornography but never in person, no."

"Would you like to sketch me?" She felt his breath catch.

"May I?"

Gretschen turned and in one fluid motion had pulled the desk chair out for Jacob to sit, dropped her robe to the floor and posed herself on the bed. Jake gulped, sat and picked up his pad and pencil. He closed his eyes and breathed another deep breath of her intoxicating scent and opened his eyes.

He studied her as if she herself were art. After a minute or two of contemplation, he set to work. He sketched for quite a while and then looked up.

"Done." He handed her the pad. She gasped.

A goddess stared back at her from the page, perfect shadows, highlights and proportions. A masterpiece.

"It's beautiful Jacob. We may have to work on this more. You excel at the human form."

She rose to gather her robe and began to put it on.

"Gretsch?" She paused. "Can I ask you the world's biggest favor?" She considered and then shrugged.

"Can I touch you? Your skin looks so soft and I've never touched a woman before, not like this."

She hesitated, the point of no return, there could be no going back from this.

She nodded.

Jacob stood and crossed the room to stand before her. He reached out and grazed his fingertips down her side to her hip, her skin tingled where he touched her. His other hand cupped her face and caressed down her neck to her collar bone. She shivered. He tugged at the robe and she let it slide back to the floor as he circled her. He stroked the muscles in her back and then stepped close to her, almost touching as they had been earlier. He reached around her and brushed against her breast with his hand. His cock twitched and touched her beautiful rear end.

"I'm sorry!" He yelped as he jerked back his hand with a furious blush spreading over his cheeks. Jake was still rather unaccustomed to the feel of her soft skin and the things it did to him and was embarrassed to know she could feel his reaction. She would never forgive him for this.

She turned to face him. She took one hand and then the other and brought them before her, she examined them. He had long thick fingers, his class ring was a size 14, a bolt of lightning ran straight to her clit as she realized how deep those fingers could reach and what they would feel like. She steadied herself and placed his hands decisively on her breasts.

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mrdata9770mrdata9770over 2 years ago

(12/20/2021) One word. Excellent! Five stars.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Well done

Incredibly good at building sexual tension in the characters. Well done.

Joseph48Joseph48over 5 years ago
Style

Stacy, only one writer I know has ever caught My imagination like You are with this story, he is Harold Robbins. ♥

wicked62wicked62over 5 years ago
Wow. Just wow.

Beautifully written. I enjoyed every sentence. You are very talented. Thank you, D.

J_Reader_ComicsJ_Reader_Comicsabout 6 years ago
Feedback

I haven't read chapter 2 yet, so you may have already worked on these things. However, I figured it would be good to write out, since I hadn't seen anyone else write them out in this chapter.

Character Development:

Other than Jacob's mother was apparently abusive to not only him and his father, there really wasn't a whole lot of character development. We know she was abusive, because in a couple instances it was described that way. We didn't get to "view" this pain because she was killed off so early. Well, other than when he describes the meal when Gretschen drops the dish. The only thing we can really tell at this point about Jacob is that he is a hard worker, which is evidenced by his jumping into the garden and helping Gretschen around the house. He is also good looking, and a bit shy when it comes to women. Which is typical of many kids his age.

Of Gretschen, we know she is younger than his father, comes from an affluent family who gifted her the house. She adores his father, is beautiful, and likes to work around the house on things. We know even less about his father, but that he was abused by Jacob's mother and he is hardly ever home. We don't really know why he is hardly home, what he does that drags him away, etc. We don't know why he left Jacob with someone who was clearly abusive and didn't apparently fight for him, or why he never visited or had his son visit him.

Relationship Development:

The relationship that is developing between Gretschen and Jacob, I feel you hit the nail on the head. This is well developing.currently. I like the slow build up. The only thing I didn't like too much was at the end. She just gave him the green light because his father said she could. You didn't develop the angst and guilt about their budding emotions, it was more clipped statements rather than flowing nuances.

The real sore point though, was the transitions or lack there of. One moment she is describing her dream, the next moment we're on Valentine's Day and Jacob's date. You should have some way of breaking that up. Either with words to the affect, or go the simpler route of a few ---, or ***, etc. This will help your audience to know that a break has happened in the timeline. The only other thing I can think of is you tend to flip flop between Gretschen and Gretsch a lot.

I like the plot, I like the idea, just thought I should give you some critique on the technical sides.

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