All Comments on 'Meeting the Family Ch. 01'

It's very good, but 4 pages shorter then I'd have liked. :P Keep writing it.

she is not a half sister---she is a step sister=they are not blood relate so there is no incest.

As per the other comment, she's his STEP-sister, no relation, ergo no incest, and nothing except a little light perving at that, so not even a story; fuck, it's not even an intro to a story, just rushed and rubbishy 'stream-of-conciousness' crap. Please delete this nonsense and stick it in the right category, it has no place here...

I don't mind it being his step-sister, a that's still taboo...but where's the rest?!

indicate you need an editor. "left to college" - the word is "for" college. Present and past tense mixed randomly in sentences.

You have run-on sentences that seem to be missing commas and/or periods. You insert periods where they don't belong, leaving sentence fragments that make no sense. Your actual writing is bad enough without adding poor punctuation into the mix. Reading porn is not supposed to be as difficult as you make it.

Just plain awful.

you need to be proofread. Many of the errors were mentioned, But, on the positive side, you have introduced a situation that can develope and be expanded. The initial introduction can be expanded to include additional relatives and hot, T his may be an early assessment, but thank you..

IF you want to improve LISTEN to all the complaints and learn, until you do learn use a good editor on every story. be better than 90% of the loser writers here and be sure to finish your stories in a timely manner and do your best to write a proper story. deleting this chapter and running it through an editor then reposting may be a good idea, reading all the how to articles is a good idea also.

very hot was hard all along

1 page on lit is 3,700 words, or about 4 letter-sized (or A4 for the European readers here) pages of Word or another word processor, so there's no real effort to craft a story here, and no incest, all he's doing is ogling his step-sister while she sunbathes. Your sentence structure is questionable, your punctuation needs to be corrected, word choice is peculiar ('regimen' or 'regime' is one example; you used 'regiment', which is something else altogether) and you seem to misunderstand how a story works on this site; for example, it should actually be a story, not an intro that stops after nothing has happened. I'd like to give you 2 stars for having the nerve to post this fragment, but you only get 1, because there's nothing here making me want to come back for more. Try harder next time, and listen to the complaints and comments, they're your leaning-curve on this site.

Ummm...More??? Where is parts 2 through 5...or something like that???

Please more....she's toying with him...he'ed be smacking the ass by the third night...