All Comments on 'Mixed Wrestling Battle'

Instead it reads like an outline or synapses of a good story. Now take this idea and fill in the blanks and create a great story.

At least one of the guys would not want his girlfriend to have sex with the two other guys. He would enjoy her being his sex slave and maybe seeing the girls all topless, but you poushed the story too far to make it believable or really enjoyable. Also, the guys would not have put any of the girls through severe pain, if only because they did not ned to do so to win.

A good start but very little action. No development in the fight and no real sex. Is this a wrestling story or a sex consequences story? Right now it is neither, but you have the ideas and writing skills to produce a good story. Practice and look for an experienced editor to help.

This story avoided a lot of first time mistakes and was very readable, but I have to agree with the other comments that you need to work on fleshing your ideas out.

I don't think a story about forced submissions on the mat needs sex to be erotic per se, or that having the male characters unrealistically open to a novel sexual arrangement is necessarily bad, but I do think you need to work more on conveying the erotic aspects of the scene.

You forgot the erotica part of literotica. This should've been posted in the non-erotic section until you actually decided you wanted to work on the sex.

This is a good start but i agree with others, where is the sex? The last line where "we paid for it with our pride" was for me the most erotic line and really touched on the erotic possibilities that this story could lead to. Good luck in future endevors

Whilst it's likely both teams would demand a forfeit, most probably involving some form of humilation, even nudity, the idea that the girls would agree to being fucked by any and all at their whim just doesn't hold water. Plus, whilst the prospect of being able to pick any of the girls and fuck them might hold an attraction, would all three guys be happy to see their girlfriends used as fucktoys? They certainly wouldn't survive as "couples" after that weekend, and probably not as friends. Forced nudity is one thing, being passed around like a cigarette is another entirely.

Expecting more sex slave and less wrestling but whatever!

Ok the wresting story is over. When does the sex story start?

This is like a fantasy; it's ALL setup and you just gloss over the fighting with only a few details about the holds used to eliminate. No real description of what the characters look like, other than one being identified as "athletic" but no age, height, weight, hair color or anything would give the reader an idea of what any of them should look like.

Then I'm hoping, oh maybe he's just skipping over to the sex part but nope there is NO sex here; just glossing over everything isn't a story man. You're not telling a co-worker about your weekend; you're trying to relay a story here to people and we want the details. I know this would be pages and pages of details while you could cut to the chase there is NO action here whatsoever.

I'm sure all the guys had the best time ever getting to take turns fucking all three of you, but I have a feeling they loved getting to fuck Stephanie the most since she was so proud and confident at the very beginning. If it was me, I would be laying and teasing her as I fucked her, especially while she came for me.

While the writing style could use a little work-- fleshing out, so to speak, the sex scenes-- I thoroughly enjoyed it! One of the things I hate about mixed wrestling stories is the the girl (or girls) almost invariably win. Reality would dictate otherwise in most cases. Great to see the women get a lesson!

THAT WAS PROBABLY WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IN TRUE REALITY.