Modern Day Cavegirls - Jane

"I like to garden," Amy smiled, "Maybe I think of something. A little lattice and lots of green."

"Speaking of green," Bobbi said as she nodded her agreement, "I'd like to know if you think you'd like the job, Amy. I've tried to tell you all I could think of this evening. I guess I need to know if it's the kind of thing that you'd like as a job here. I have the option to turn this into a full-time job with the agency. That means that I'd have to pay them a fee and then you work for us and not for the agency."

Amy nodded, "I want the job, Bobbi. I also need it, but that is another matter. I want to work here."

Bobbi looked relieved. "You wouldn't know anything about it, but a long time ago, I used to work for them. Not on a contract basis as you are. I was just a temporary worker to them and they treated us all like dirt and paid us very little, but I needed the job that badly then.

I was eighteen and broke, and a long way from home. I left here - the only home I'd ever known until then with a broken heart on top of everything else - one that would never heal completely and though it's better now, it's still a little broken.

I hired on at the agency and I did my best for them because that's the way I was raised to work. No matter what, they always let me know that I was just a little less than nothing to them. When I couldn't work any harder and realized that I was working myself to death for shit pay because they took almost half, I joined the Air Force and never looked back."

She nodded with a cold look on her face, "I don't trust them.

I never have and I never will. They're the same bastards that they were to me all that time ago and it makes my skin crawl to have any dealings with them. They like to point to their success, but it's all been on the backs of poor people.

But I knew that they were probably the quickest for my search for help.

I'm very glad that I went to them - because you came and I like you so much already."

She took another sip of her beer and smiled, "I don't know if you noticed it, but I tried to be nice to you because I was impressed and I knew that we could get along and work together. I was also almost, but not quite a bitch to the agency representative as often as I could be.

If she was worth anything, she wouldn't be working there."

Amy nodded, "She say that you very hard to make happy."

Bobbi chuckled, "And now that you know me a little bit, what do you think?"

Amy shook her head, "No."

"That was just me trying to make things hard for her," Bobbi said, "I wanted to make things simple for you. You're the reason I called them. I didn't know you and never heard of you. But I just knew that they had somebody like you who shouldn't be making them rich for one minute more than you needed to. While we were having our interview, I decided that you should be working for me, not them.

I just didn't know if you'd like to be here. This is a long way from Seoul and even Baltimore." She grinned, "That's why I'm giving you Janey to help you get your feet down and find your way. I'd want to say 'What could go wrong?' but I know how she feels already and it was an honest mistake."

She thought for a moment, "I don't know what you might know about professional sports like basketball and baseball and like that, but when those professional players work out a contract with the owner of a team, they sometimes get signing bonuses - something extra for hiring on.

When all this was a pair of really large working farms - long before I was even born, my grandfather and great-grandfather used to keep records of all their workers. If a good man came back the next year, he'd get a little something extra - just for coming back.

That was how you kept the best workers for your farm. You showed them that you knew what they meant to you. Sometimes, you had to just feel what somebody else might be feeling and those ones, he helped first, if it felt right to him."

She reached into the cargo pocket of her flight suit and took out an envelope. "This is not for the agency to know about. It's only between you and me. If they knew about it, they'd try to get their mitts on some of it at least and they'd probably tell you that it's their due."

She shook her head, "It's not. They're dealing with me as the president of Quicksilver's Air. This isn't the same thing. This is just the same thing that my great-grandfather used to do for his workers personally, and back in the day, it came out of the pocket of his overalls and not the farm."

She smiled warmly then, "If he was here, he'd understand right away. I've heard from a lot of people whose fathers and grandfathers used to work here when there was a depression. Working here got a lot of people back on their feet when there wasn't much else.

Sometimes a man's pride or the way that he was raised made him think to refuse. Great-granddaddy would point to their boots, worn out from looking for work, or the trousers that were more worn out then wearable in decent company. Sometimes he'd see the man's woman out by the road with their wagon, a tired-looking mule, and a few hungry children.

He would just quietly say. 'If you start today or tomorrow, you get paid on Friday. What are they going to eat until then? This isn't pay. This isn't a loan. This is for coming to work here and to get what you need to begin here properly.

This is what's needed now. Get what you need with this and come back to start tomorrow.'

He would say 'This is between men."

Bobbi smiled, "But I think that he'd still understand if it's between women right here. This is what's needed now.

This is something that the agency would never think of doing. It's a gift to you from me for saying yes, you'll try the job. That's why it's not a cheque. It's a little cash to help you get started here, far from where you know anyone.

I remember how that feels, to not know anyone. I don't think that you've got a lot here with you and you'll be needing something at least.

You work for Quicksilver's Air through the agency until we decide together that you want the job permanently. That can happen any time during the next six months."

Amy reached into the envelope and pulled out a few bills as her eyes widened and her mouth fell open.

"That's from us, Amy, not Quicksilver's Air."

Amy pulled it all out. It was twenty bills - two thousand dollars in hundreds.

She slowly looked up and across the coffee table.

She burst into tears immediately.

Bobbi was stunned, "Amy, what's wrong?"

Amy hung onto Jane, burying her face against Jane's shoulder as she bawled. Jane shifted to hold her and Amy was against her chest.

Jane looked up and Bobbi pointed, "Zipper. She's got her poor face against your suit zipper."

Jane nodded and in a second, she'd fixed it. Amy was hiding her face against Jane's pink 'I'M A LESBIAN' tank top.

Jane lowered her head, "Su-jin ... Su-jin, did we do anything wrong? We wanted to help."

Amy shook her head, but kept crying.

After a minute, she tried to speak, but it took a few tries before she really got anywhere with it. Jane kept her head down, kept trying to soothe and calm whatever this was and ...

And without really meaning to or even being aware that she was doing it very much at all, she kissed the top of the rim of Su-jin's ear very softly a few times, telling her that it was alright.

She stopped when she became aware of it and hoped that Su-jin hadn't noticed.

It took a while, because at first, all they got was "Thank you - hoo - hoo."

Bobbi left and came back with tissues and Jane offered them singly. Amy took them and blew her nose and wiped her eyes and then began all over again. Eventually, she calmed enough and slowly at first and with a lot of sobs and sniffles, she told them about it.

It shouldn't have happened that way and Bobbi and Jane were astounded when they'd heard it all. They were furious that Amy was being used by this strange greedy uncle who was probably no real relation. It took a lot longer for Amy to explain that she'd been sent there because of something that she'd done that had gotten around in no time, thanks to cellular technology and the incredible speed that word of mouth could travel at.

She didn't tell them what it was that had caused the whole thing because it was too stupid to Amy to even tell of it and she'd have been more embarrassed as well. They just nodded and let it go.

But they didn't think it was right to send a daughter away for anything and under those circumstances where this dubious relative could take money to give their shame a home - and then charge her rent which she could barely afford to pay. It was beyond belief.

The more that Su-jin tried to explain it, the worse her English got. Jane didn't know if Bobbi understood it, but she sure could. It took no thought at all to her.

"It was nothing, what I did to cause this to myself," Amy said very quietly, "a drunken ... gesture between two drunk people at a party.

I did not kill anyone," she said, "I only make a fool of myself where someone could take picture and post it to internet. The one I think was my friend, she scream like I killing her.

My brothers - all four - never speak to me again. Not once.

No boys who liked me speak to me either. Nobody speak to me. Only one friend, but her mother hear of it and chase me from house when I visit.

My father stay angry and he arrange this - to come here to live in America. To throw his shame into ocean.

My mother calmed down, but she never forgive me. She give me suit, because she could not wear it anymore anyway. She say I should use it to find work. But they send me away. I cannot forget.

I ask for my mother's forgiveness and she shake her head and tell me to find my life somewhere else. I never think to go to America. I was happy in Seoul.

The last thing that I say to her was ... I know what I will stay away from - a life like you. You are not happy, I say. How you can be happy? You work like dog for one man - make four more. You work for them all. You die working. Tell yourself you happy working for grandchildren."

She began to sob once more. In the middle of it, she whispered, "I say to her, 'When grandchildren don't care about you, remember me.'"

Jane began to cry.

Amy calmed down again in less time. She sighed and took a minute so that her English skills could come back to her, "I was not angry and upset anymore," she said slowly. "I was only sad."

She looked at them with her eyes brimming. "If I had a child, it is forever. Not to throw away if I don't like what he does."

She fell silent for a time.

"I came here with little. Everything seems strange to me, but it is not at the same time. It is a life that I think I can make here."

She looked up at Bobbi, who sat on the other side of Jane now, feeding her tissues as well, "I know that I can help you, Bobbi. I cannot say anything but my thanks. And you did not know, but you have gave - given me so much and I have done nothing but come to you."

She nodded, "Your ancestors should be proud - both of you. I want your job for me."

Neither of them knew what to say. But they smiled and nodded.

"Will you be alright here tonight, Amy?" Bobbi asked and Amy nodded and shrugged at the same time, "I think I will. I was thinking that I have never lived anywhere that I was alone in a house. I can do it."

Bobbi looked at Jane, "It might be better if Amy sleeps here tonight at least."

Jane nodded as she wiped her nose with a tissue, "I had no idea ..."

She looked at Amy, "Please sleep at my house tonight, Su-jin. You won't be alone then. I don't want you to be alone. The bed's larger and I can even sleep on the couch in the living room. I've done it enough from falling asleep when I studied."

They knew how much the thought affected Amy when she looked at Jane and nodded, saying thanks again. "Only today, I find friends. I have not had friend in almost a year. No one speak to me in Seoul that I knew, and when I came to Baltimore, it was same."

She looked off across the room, "I was ... I do not know the word, fashionable? I made my hair red and sometimes I had crazy fun when I didn't have to study. I go dancing with my friends.

But ... they were not my friends.

I came here with nothing, only money to show officers that I had money. After that, I had to gave - give my money to uncle."

She spoke quietly and she didn't cry outwardly, but her tears ran almost silently then. "I ... hated my hair. I had nothing, no money to make it right and no money to cut it. Uncle say he get lady to cut for me, but after rent, I had no money."

She turned to Jane, looking from her to Bobbi for a moment, "You know almost nothing from what happen to me. But I come here and ... I do not even KNOW you and you are friends to me."

She looked at Jane, "You see it in me, that I have nothing." She looked at Bobbi, "You too."

She sighed, "I think maybe nobody knows. I think maybe women look ... see more, but ... I can change nothing so ..."

Jane reached and put her arm around Amy, "So what? I wasn't looking to laugh. None of it was bad and I'm not like that. I talked to Bobbi and we guessed. That's not a crime, not to have the best because you moved your life halfway around the world and now you're making it over - or you would - if somebody would just give you a chance.

Bobbi said that she wanted you right away from the interview. She said you interviewed so well and you know what we want and you can do it. Get the clothes later."

She sniffled, "We can get your hair fixed tomorrow. You show me what you've got for clothes and we can get a few things that you can mix and match.

You came all this way because you HAD to - no choice," she said, "You can't see it because you're living it, but to me," she smiled, touching her own chest, "you've got a lot of courage, Su-jin. Come on, let's get your things and we can see what we've got to work with just to start."

Amy nodded and Bobbi wished them a good night, "I want to text Damian and tell him about today. You guys get a phone no matter what tomorrow and call me so I can get the number. I'll catch up with you tomorrow sometime."

Amy hugged Bobbi and thanked her. They knew it was sincere, because she looked like she was going to cry again.

------------------

After getting Amy's things to bring them to Jane's place - since it wasn't far at all, they sat on the couch together. Jane was looking at the two full bottles left.

"If you think you're not going to get drunk or anything, I think that we should just take those two there and make a toast to you and your new life - your own way," she smiled.

Amy agreed and they set to the task.

Afterward, Jane said, "And also, it means that I can get all of the bottles out of here," she said, "I don't drink that much if I'm here alone. I buy a six-pack and then two months later, I find that I've got to throw two or three out because they're past their date."

"I can ask you something?" Amy said and Jane nodded, "Sure. Ask me anything, Su-jin."

"Bobbi uses my name Amy," Su-jin said, "Why do you say 'Su-jin'?"

Jane turned her head and smiled, "That's an easy one. I like your name. Bobbi told me your name when we flew down to pick you up. I don't have anything against Amy as a name. I just think that 'Su-jin' is better. I think it's a cool name. I also want to keep using it so I have it just right, like you say it.

Why do you call me Janey instead of Jane?"

Su-jin wondered if it was wrong, "I can't say 'Janey'?"

Jane nodded, "You can use it. I don't mind. I don't think that there's a rule about using it. Mostly, it's just a few people who call me that; my father, my uncle, Bobbi and Damian. You'll meet him soon - and I'm sure that you'll like him, too.

So that's about the whole list. They're all important people to me. You can use it because we're friends and I like to hear it from you. If it has a meaning, 'Janey' is 'Jane', but smaller, like a little girl. That's what I used to be, so that's what they called me then. Now I'm Jane - all grown up - to most people."

"Is it also for ...?" Su-jin struggled a little.

"It's what's called a diminutive, Su-jin. That means that it can also be used in an affectionate way.

Any other questions?"

Su-jin nodded, "I have to ask ... carefully.

Can ..." she looked to be stuck.

"If we're friends," Jane began, "I don't know how it goes in Korea, but here if we're friends, then friends can ask each other anything."

Su-jin nodded, "Can I read your shirt? I wanted to see it since the airport."

Jane pulled her flight suit together and put on a high and quavering girl's voice, "No my shirt!"

Su-jin laughed.

Jane reached into her pockets and took out all of the stuff in them, including the binoculars and set it all down on the coffee table in a somewhat orderly pile. She stood up then and worked her arms out of her sleeves, pulling the flight suit down a little and tying the sleeves around her waist. She turned to face Su-jin and waited while nothing happened.

Su-jin was staring at her biceps.

"Hey, I thought this was about my shirt," Jane laughed, "You didn't say anything about my arms. Not fair."

Su-jin beamed and her reply was immediate, "Can I see your shirt - and your arms?"

While Jane rolled her eyes, she reached out and touched a bicep with a smiling nod, "Nice!"

Jane rolled her eyes again, "The shirt ..."

Su-jin grinned and read the whole shirt, "I do not understand."

"Do you know what 'hit on' means?" Jane asked, "it means that you might like someone that you meet or see and you say things to them to flirt - ah, to try to talk with them. Girls and boys both do it, boys more, I guess - because they're boys, I dunno.

The shirt means that if you're a boy and you just want to talk stupid to me, then I'm a lesbian, because that would mean that I don't want to talk to you. Remember that where I was, there were men who just wouldn't shut up for days - weeks. I got the shirt because I was tired of it.

Do you understand that part, Su-jin? A lesbian wouldn't care about men at all. That's what men think, mostly."

"Ah," Su-jin said, leaning in a little to read, "now the second part."

Jane groaned, "I am so freaking sorry that I even had the idea for this."

She drew a deep breath. "Ok, I want to know something, Su-jin. I wouldn't want to embarrass you in any way here. The rest is more ... sexual."

Su-jin had been looking at Jane's flat stomach, since she'd thought that she'd seen it move under the tight shirt, but she had no Idea how to go about asking about getting a look at that.

She looked at Jane's face, "You mean ... dirty?"

Jane almost laughed, but she managed not to. Su-jin had sounded so nice when she'd said it that way.

She nodded, "Yeah, it's a little dirty. Are you ok with that?"

Su-jin nodded happily, "Yes. I like dirty!"

She got another look at Jane's moving stomach as Jane laughed herself almost to her knees.

"Ok. What the shirt means is that I might not be a lesbian, but if a stupid man tries to talk to me, then I'm saying that I am one so he can stop right away. I'm not interested.

The second part means that if it's a woman who is asking me, then I want to know if she's shaved. I thought that putting that part in would bother the men."

Su-jin was working it out.

Jane felt a little dumber about the shirt. She liked Su-jin and didn't think the shirt was worth her trying so hard to get it since she was from a different culture.

Su-jin looked up and mimicked shaving her face, "Like man?"

Jane wanted to hide under the couch then.

She shook her head, "No, the second part is for women, remember?" She pretended to be shaving her pubes.

Su-jin's eyes widened and she laughed and laughed, finally getting it.