All Comments on 'My Birthday Surprise'

You do have writing ability. Not my subject choice... but this is Literotica. But PLEASE get an editor. There are so many you/your/you're/you are errors that they detract from your story and sentence structure. That's just one example. There are many others. Keep your writing style of choice but be pedantic about spelling, grammar etc. Cheers, LS

do these 'writers' ever come up with anything new? it is like a rehash of so many other stories that it is almost plagiarism of plagiarism of plagiarism.

There must be a story app out there that you give it 10 names, pick 1 of 5 settings and boom a 'new' story.

Hate the concept, hate the layout, and hate the formula

4*

Fun cuck shit

Pay no attention to the church ladies

Regardless of the topic, the writing sucks.

Just think... a divorce as a birthday gift to himself...

40 is not too old to find someone who only loves you...

Ridiculousness piled on high here, no believability, with all the huge cocks, and the simpering, fetish driven wimp husband. The desire to fulfill his fetish clearly trumps common sense.

The level of humiliation he should feel, but apparently doesnt, is astounding. He is clearly #2 or even further down the list, just someone to provide for her in the "beta" way.

This was probably written this way to be provacative, and author you succeeded, but have branded yourself a bit with this tale as well. The lack of equity in the marital relationship is offensive to normal males, and the level of fetish driven behavior on the husbands part, with no regard for the wife spiritual and emotional well being, is equally offensive to the normal females that might read this.

This story is such waste of time reading all the way through.

It is not enjoyable, it lacks of creativity, poor written, nonsense, and it is not even sexy nor hot story.

The author did a very poor job!

Why writing on drugs is bad. These characters are awful people.

...it's a morose joke. Far too long for what it offers, and far too little of interest to any but the cucky crowd, it is a complete waste of ones and zeros.

'Course your moniker should warn any non-cucky-boiz that this is not the story for them.

You have a right to express yourself. You do it well, except for your tendency to go on and on and on and on and on....but your technicals are pretty good.....your material, story development and character development, however, are in need of serious revamping.

Anony is a retarded brained fag

The Good

The story is well conceived. You have present action, and flashbacks that take us through the back story. You also give yourself space to develop the story that it doesn't seem rushed.

The Bad

The sex goes on a bit overlong. It is hard to believe that other than a seasoned whore she could take that much sex, she is essentially fucked twice by four guys, all in the ass, and then goes for another super sex session with a 9" dick in her pussy. This is not to mention seriously sucking them all off, all of these big dicks. This makes it seem like a fantasy stroke story rather than a serious piece about the nature of cuckolding and how one finds one going deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole. There is also the question of cuckolding. The protagonist goes on how he is not a cuckold because he isn't into humiliation. But there is a range in cuckolding, from simply having the wife knowingly cheat to being in panties. You then take the guy all the way to being denied his wife's pussy. That is cucking my friend. You can't go much farther without explicit humiliation from the wife. Her lovers humiliate him verbally twice, so you are definitely in the humiliation, and his dick tweaks when she bosses him, so femdom is there as well. Why are you denying it?

The Ugly

You badly need an editor. There are serious and numerous grammar problems with this piece that detract from reading it. There are also many malapropisms, such as feint for faint and so on.

I would be interested in seeing this story continue because the guy doesn't seem to realize the little cuck shit he is. We have the dramatic irony of knowing that he is well and truly cucked despite his denials since he goes from filming his wife have sex with other men (which is still cucking), to listening through a door, and then she leaves him out completely by having her affairs outside the house, so much so that he often doesn't see her during the week, and he isn't having much sex with her. She is even going on week long vacations with her lovers, and now his wife has given her pussy to another man and is going away for the weekend without even mentioning it to him or giving a damn about what he is going to do during that time. Femdom again. (You also conveniently forget about the kid they have. Where is it? Boy or girl?) Roommates have more concern for each other than she has for him. Is he in cuck heaven or cuck hell?

So, I think it would be interesting to see where this goes. Does he become aware that he essentially has no relationship with his wife, certainly no romantic or even sexual relations with her? I hope you continue and make this a complex story and not some "complete cuckold" fetish story, which is where it is right now, frankly. You do add complexity by having them discuss what he gets out of all this, but now all that is out the window. What does he get out of it now? The inversion of what a husband should be getting and what he is getting? He is almost getting nothing at this point, not even her common concern, let alone actual attention. Their agreement is now problematized because instead of including him, having fantastic sex, she is now explicitly excluding him, from her pussy, from her presence (she only has shown up as a special birthday treat) and the best he can hope for has been reduced to getting a blow job, and that might just be because it was his birthday. And what a birthday! No candle, no cake, and really no wife! He asks himself how is he a husband if he can't fuck her in her pussy? Word, my friend. Wake up! (Is her ass still available to him like her other lovers whom she is also excluding?)

I hope you make this a journey of awakening for him. How far down the rabbit hole he is and thinking about how he can get back, if he can get back from this. Don't leave this as a story making him a "total cuckold" in complete denial. This can be much more than a mere fetish piece and you have the talent to make it more. I hope you do. (Just make sure to get an editor.)

Nicely developed and erotic throughout. FYI, most of the negative anon comments are from one person. Use the delete key to take out all the trash. 4*s.

As a story it was good but man how could anyone live with themselves being the husband. I know this is a story but people do this in real life also. I know many people who swing , a ton that cheat and even one or two that like to watch their girl fuck someone else. The closest to this story is a friend who was married that watched his wife , video her with others and gone to swinger clubs which I thought was very twisted. What is different was he would fuck as many girls as he could also. They divorced he said she cheated which I couldn't understand but she just fell for a guy she was ducking in their lifestyle. I just feel if a guy wants variety don't get married and fuck whoever you want and if a girl wants to do that also she can but society will look at her as a pig. It's just the way it is and I can't imagine what guy would want to be married to that when he could be just one of her fuck buddies. One of the couples I knew that were swinging were both cheating on the side and it came out . The wife wanted to be able to do it but not her husband just like this story kinda. He did for a while but when she went for a three day weekend he did also but left a day later so when he came home on Tuesday the wife was pissed. He told her he would continue to do as she did and took part responsibleity for starting their lifestyle but was not going to be a wimp and sit around while she did what she wanted. Over the next year she was always mad at him but they continued fucking others . He slowly saw the end and started taking money out of his pension at work and large home equity on their house. The next weekend she went away which started to be 5-6 times that year he moved out and had her served when she returned. He said she could keep the house if she could afford it or sell and split the profit which was next to nothing. She went after his pension but they had to add both up and split which hers was more so she lost there also. Her lawyer was digging but he checked it a casino saying he was gambling his sorrows away while his wife vacationed fucking different men , she was totally embarrassed in court that day. She was devastated when it was all over never seeing it coming and was left truly alone because the guys were using her for fun , one of there fuck buddies. This is s real story and mostly how this style would end most marriages.

No humiliation he says, the whole thing was humiliating. Some special weekend if she is gone the whole time. I'd like to read one time where the poor sap finally realizes what a fool he has been & puts his foot down. Let the chips fall where they may, split or stay together, things have to change at that point. I did enjoy the tale.

The reason most, I'd say 90%, of the women in this lifestyle could not support themselves alone as well as the husband can. He pays for her living it up and ends up like this guy sitting in a chair in the hall. That is IF he's allowed in the house at all. The very moment I heard her say that her pussy was now his I would have opened the door, next opened a window and deposited everything in that room that was hers in the yard. He wants to own her pussy? Fine, he can feed the rest of her too.

I"m not just blowing steam here as I lived this lifestyle to some extent with two different women. The first broke the boundaries, not to the level this one did, and found herself divorced. My current wife enjoyed it for years and one day it ended.

It's not for everyone. Hell, if it was it would be Caligula everywhere. For those that can make it work for them, I applaud them. It's a tightrope.

Another unbelievable story featuring a dumb,Fuck of a Cuck husband and his POS wife. Why are they even married? A 1 rating for this steaming pile of literary crap.

Great story- very erotic writing almost all the way through. Not enamored of the lifestyle but hotwife_hubby hits all the buttons! Solid *****