My Cuckold History

I have delved back into the diary I keep. The passage written below has quite a lot of conversations back and forth. I don't guarantee that this was exactly what was said word for word, but from memory and the comments I wrote in the diary, it's pretty close.

Apologies for taking so long to put all this into words. My wife told me to put down my feelings and not just to write the pure graphic bits—hence why it is so long.

*****

Changes to our relationship.

As I detailed above, I spent a fitful night's sleep whilst my wife spent the night at the Regency Hotel with Dennis. I awoke at around 8:00am and got up and showered, anything to relieve the tension I felt. My wife had said she would phone when she wanted me to collect them. I glanced out through the living room window and saw Dennis's car parked as he had left it the night before. Each hour seemed to drag on and on. It was 11:30am when the silence was broken by the phone ringing. My heart began to race as I answered.

"Hi sweetie, can't be on long, just calling to say were on our way down to check out, so can you pick us up at midday?"

"Yes sure." I wanted to ask all about the night, but sensed now was not the time.

"Thanks babe. See you in a while then. Bye."

And that was it, very short and sweet. I picked up the keys and made my way out to the car. Thankfully there was very little traffic about and I made it to the hotel with five minutes to spare. By the time I had pulled up at the front it was only a minute or so before I saw the doorman carrying two cases, leading my wife and Dennis down the front steps. He handed me the cases and opened the rear passenger door for them.

As I climbed back into the driver's seat my wife broke the ice by saying, "Thanks for picking us up babe. How was your night?"

"Fine...A little quiet though."

Both Dennis and my wife laughed as I said that. Looking through the rear view mirror I noticed his hand was once again resting on her thigh as they chatted and told me all about the play they had been to see at the theatre. It wasn't that that I was interested in hearing about!

Finally I pulled into our driveway and my wife asked me to get the cases out of the boot. As I did so I noticed that they had both got out of the car and were locked in a firm embrace. Noticing me standing there my wife told me to fetch Dennis's car keys from inside and put his case in the boot.

I left Dennis's case by the boot of his car and nipped inside to retrieve his keys. Clicking the remote that opened the boot, I placed his case inside and walked back to where they were still standing. I handed Dennis his keys and he looked at me and said thanks and that he would have loved to come in for a coffee but he had to get home and sort a few things out. "Besides...I'm sure you have lots of things you are dying to ask about, so I'll let you have some peace and quiet."

A little unsure of what to do I stood there for a moment until my wife added quite curtly, "Why don't you go on inside and put the kettle on whilst I say goodbye to Dennis."

Not for the first time I felt a little awkward as I made my way back inside the house. Once through the door I glanced round to see them sharing a passionate goodbye kiss.

The kettle had already boiled by the time my wife walked in through the door. She gave me a quick peck on the lips and said, "Hi."

I carried the coffees through to the living room and sat down next to her. She had a smile on her face that told a thousand words.

"Wow what a night...I'm bushed," she said. She went on to tell me how she had been so turned on all through the play. Part of the reason for that was that Dennis had asked her to take her panties off when she went to powder her nose in the theatre restroom and give them to him on her return. She told me all she wanted to do was play with herself, or more pointedly, have him do it as they sat and watched.

By the time they got back to the hotel it took a matter of seconds before he had her naked and was kissing and caressing her all over. She told me that they fucked with an almost animal passion the first time, and that she had never found it as easy to orgasm as she had done then. They had then shared a long luxurious bath and afterwards they had started again where they left off. He was insatiable she told me. I didn't have to ask many questions as she told me every detail of her night of passion. She took great delight in telling me how strong and assertive he had seemed as she had knelt before him and sucked his cock. I'm not exaggerating when I say that she took great delight in telling me how good a lover he was.

"I'm a lucky girl to have found a man who knows just what to do...And has no trouble telling me what he wants!" This was yet another reference to him being assured and quite assertive.

By now her description of events had me openly rubbing my cock through my trousers. Noticing this she teased, "Sorry sweetie...How selfish of me. Let me just go to the loo and then you can tell me all about your night."

I sat and ran through the things she had told me, every now and then a comment she had made such as 'I just couldn't get enough of his wonderful cock' had my own cock twitching in pent up frustration. A few moments later I heard her call for me to come upstairs. I entered the bedroom to find my wife dangling the panties I had used the previous night from her index finger.

"What were these doing by the side of the bed?" she asked with a smirk and holding the panties out.

I felt myself blush as I hurriedly tried to think of an excuse, but none came to mind, at least not quickly enough.

The conversation continued along the lines of:

"Well?"

"I um...I...well I was just so horny last night that I...um...I used a pair of your panties to wank myself off with."

She laughed as I said that. "You used a pair of my panties whilst you played with your little cock?"

"Y...Yes, I was just so horny."

"Did you put them on?"

"No!...No I...erm...I just smelt them as I...you know...played with myself."

She was taking great delight in all of this, noticing I was almost squirming with embarrassment.

"So you enjoy smelling my panties do you?"

"No...I um...yes, yes I do."

"Do what?"

"Do enjoy smelling them."

"Smelling what?"

"Your panties."

"That's better; do you think a man like Dennis would do that?"

"No, I guess not."

"No...I don't think so either...I was going to let you fuck me, but instead I think I'll just leave you to wank yourself off again with these."

With that she tossed the panties on the bed. "Have fun," she smirked as she left the room.

Although turned on, I couldn't bring myself to wank myself off, especially after how awkward I now felt.

I returned downstairs pretty quickly and she teased me some more about having a panty fetish, and how if I was a real man, I wouldn't be doing that sort of thing. All of which made me feel very small.

When she had finally had enough of her little game she went back upstairs and had a long soak in the bath. Afterwards we both cuddled up and watched TV for most of the afternoon.

Dennis rang at a little after 7:00pm. I thought she might take the call in private, but instead she sat back down beside me and chatted away. Again I only caught her side of the conversation but from the comments I made at the time in my diary it went like this.

"Hi...Mmmm yes I did too."

"Yes, I've been thinking about that all afternoon."

"Yes he's right here with me."

"No he's been fine; he had a good time on his own last night."

I started mouthing the words, "No...Please no," to her but she just gave me a look that said to be quiet.

"Yes he was all by himself...but he found his own entertainment."

(Laughing) "Yes, and with a pair of my panties too."

"I know. He left them by the side of the bed."

Thankfully the conversation turned back to them. I listened intently as she chatted away and finally she agreed to another date the following weekend.

*****

My wife's relationship with Dennis was a little different than it had been with her first boyfriend. Things seemed to move on much quicker, probably because she felt more comfortable doing this now and also because Dennis was a lot more forward.

In the first few weeks they saw each other on average twice a week I guess and when he stayed at our house for the first time I was able to actually watch them making love whilst in the same room. I had seen my wife do this with her previous boyfriend a few times but Dennis actually seemed to get off on having me watch.

I remember the first slight change happened the day after she had stayed over at his place about three weeks into the relationship...She got back around lunchtime on the Sunday and everything seemed as normal as it usually did. As she unpacked her bag she told me all about their night of lovemaking and how horny he had been. She made a point of putting the condoms back into the bedside drawer and told me that she had not used them with Dennis this time as she felt comfortable enough to trust him fully now. This made my already hard cock twitch, knowing he had cum inside her. She told me how she much preferred that too. I could see she was a little tired so we just kicked back and relaxed for the rest of the day.

Finally when we climbed into bed later that night I started to kiss her and I was pleasantly surprised to find she responded quite passionately. I went down on her and brought her to two orgasms before slowly moving my way up. Kissing her again I went to gently ease my cock inside her when she stopped me. I asked her if anything was wrong and was she too tired and she told me that no, it was fine but that perhaps I should slip on a condom first.

A little taken aback by her request I asked her why, we hadn't used condoms for years, in fact not since we were married. She kissed me gently again, rubbing her pussy against me as she did so and said, "Please, just do it for me."

Who was I to refuse this request? I pulled open the bedside drawer and opened one of the condoms and rolled it on to my cock. She greeted me with open arms and fed my cock straight inside her. She seemed extremely turned on as she began to move in rhythm with me.

As we made love she fulfilled all my cuckold desires as she told me how much better Dennis was and how she loved fucking him. I was completely caught up in the moment when she said, "It's much better like this."

Only half taking in what she said I replied, "Yes...yes it is." As I said this she ground herself hard against me and I could sense she was having another orgasm. I had gone beyond the edge myself now and It didn't take much more before I felt myself cum...One of those orgasms where you literally feel light-headed!

As I eased my softening cock out of her I caught sight of the condom. I had almost forgotten I had one on. Taking the end of it in my hand I noticed my wife lying there looking so relaxed in the afterglow of our lovemaking session. She smiled at me as I rolled it off and went to dispose of it in the bathroom. I joined her back in bed and we cuddled and chatted. Again from memory our conversation went along the lines of.

"So what was with the condom?"

"Oh just something different," she replied a little coyly. "You didn't mind did you?"

"No I guess not, it's just we haven't used them for years."

"I know, but you said you thought it was better like that."

"Like what."

"With a condom."

"No I didn't."

"You did, I remember saying it's better like this and you said yes it is."

"I didn't think you meant it though."

"Well I did. It's just that Dennis thought that it might be better if you use them."

There was a long pause as I took in what she said. "It was Dennis's idea...He wanted me to wear them."

My wife gently stroked the side of my face as she continued, "Besides, we had fun didn't we?"

"Yes...but it just seems a little strange."

"Please...do it for me, it's only a condom."

What the hell I thought, I had just had a great time so what was the problem with putting on a condom to please her. "OK, it's no big deal."

With that she wrapped her arms around me and gave me a huge kiss.

I thought a lot about this for the next few days. Here I was wearing a condom whilst my wife's lover no longer did so The more I thought about it the more it dawned on me how much it actually turned me on. The next few times we made love she didn't even have to ask me, I already had a condom ready.

I look back now and see that both she and Dennis were testing me, seeing how I responded to different things, seeing what I would accept. The next time Dennis stayed over I felt a little awkward about him obviously knowing that I was using a condom at his request, but the awkwardness passed quite quickly, especially as I was allowed to watch them fuck twice during his stay. I revelled in how my wife seemed to melt to his touch. Her moans of satisfaction still ring in my ears as I think back.

Within a couple of weeks all this had become the norm. My wife and I lay in bed one night kissing and touching in the lead up to sex. Dennis had taken my wife out earlier that night and she was telling me how she had rather riskily given him a blow job in a car park as he wasn't able to stay over due to it being midweek and having an early appointment the next day. She described in great detail how she had driven him wild by kissing and sucking on his cock. Slowly she reached into the bedside drawer and brought out a condom. Unwrapping it, she rolled it onto my cock and positioned herself on top of me. Gently she let the head of my cock nudge against the entrance to her pussy. "Mmmm, he fucks me so well," she said. Slowly she eased herself down until my cock was fully inside her.

"Do you mind he gets to cum in me and you don't?"

Feeling her gently grind herself back and forth I answered, "No...its kind of a turn on."

"Mmmm, it is for me too."

We kissed as we made love, her tongue snaking into my mouth, deep long and passionate kisses.

She continued to feed my cuckold desires by telling me things that he did that excited her. Comparing me to him...reminding me that he was a much better lover. We must've been making love for ages...It was so good I just didn't want it to stop. She was expertly playing to my desires and she knew it.

Slowly she whispered into my ear, "Mmmm, know what babe—it's Dennis's birthday next week. What do you think we should give him?"

I replied that I didn't know.

"How about...How about we give him my pussy..."

All the time she was grinding slowly back and forth on me, kissing me passionately then whispering into my ear. It was driving me crazy with desire. I asked what she meant by giving him her pussy and she laughed.

"You know silly...Like in that story we read that time the one that turned you on so much." (One of the many stories we had read from the internet.) "Let him be the only one who fucks me." She kissed me again, not waiting for my reply. "That turns you on, I know it does, think of how horny you'd feel knowing that he is the only one who gets to fuck me." (She emphasised the word fuck)

I was completely gone now her words played around my head and I can't ever remember feeling so excited.

"I'd like it...I'd love to give my pussy to him just for him."

"W...well," I began, but she cut me off before I had time to carry on.

"Please babe, please, let's give him my pussy...I'll still play with your little cock, you just won't get to fuck me that's all. Think how horny you'd feel."

"I...I don't know," I managed to stammer out but she continued bringing me close to the edge then slowly easing off, whispering her thoughts all the time.

"Think how turned on you would be. He gets to fuck me and you don't. Please babe, I really want to do this I want to be faithful to him you want me to don't you? You want me to carry on fucking him, I want to carry on fucking him...its what he wants too."

She was being very clever here and using all the bits from the story we'd read to push my buttons.

She had me so turned on that I had to admit that the thought of her saving herself for him alone was driving me wild.

"O...OK then...But you'll still do other stuff with me?"

"Oh yes babe I'll still do lots with you, so say it. Say you want me to save my pussy for his cock. Please...say it."

"I...I love you more than anything, but save yourself for Dennis. It's OK...I don't mind him being the only one to fuck you."

She gasped at the realisation I had said the words. "Mmmm, I love you so much too. But after tonight my pussy will be for Dennis. So cum now...cum for me babe...cum for the last time inside me."

Her words finally drove me over the edge and I felt my cock twitch violently as my orgasm overcame me, I pushed myself as deep as I could inside her until the moment finally passed.

We lay entwined, coming down from our long passionate session.

My wife stroked my hair and whispered, "Are you still sure you want to do this?"

"Its what you want isn't it?" I asked looking for reassurance.

"Yes...I want to be faithful to him."

"Then yes...just don't cut me off completely."

"Never babe...we can still have fun."

Slowly I eased my cock out of her and rolled the condom off...

This was kind of the height of all my cuckold sensations rolled into one. Don't ask me why but I got really turned on by the thought of my wife giving herself to another man, but not allowing me the same privileges. We had read many stories where this was the case and I'd always told my wife how this made me feel.

When she was suggesting this as we made love one small part of me was screaming no, this is a step too far, but the majority of me was so turned on thinking what it would be like to be denied having full sex with her...

The only way I think this could have been even more erotic was if we had had a chastity device back in those days, but alas we didn't (though maybe that was a good thing).

Why the relationship with Dennis ended and why we eventually put the cuckolding aspect of our lives brings our story to an end. In the final part below I shoot right up to date and explain our current situation.

Part 5—Right up to date.

The relationship with Dennis went on for quite a while afterwards. Essentially I went without having penetrative intercourse for nearly five months while he was to all intents and purposes her boyfriend. We did of course do other things but she was true to her word and did remain faithful to him in that respect. This was something that frustrated me but also pressed all the right buttons and she knew that to. I guess this is why both of us enjoy the chastity games we now do.

Looking back on the times when we did this (for the most part) is a great source of excitement for both of us. It must seem that from reading the post that all the events were great and didn't cause any friction or hassle at any time. That certainly is not the case.

I love my wife very much as she does me (I hope!). Inviting another person into that very special relationship you have can add all sorts of pressure. Indeed one of the reasons we stopped was that my wife felt that the lines between lust and love were being crossed especially with her last lover. The one thing she didn't want to do was jeopardise what we had as a marriage and she was entirely truthful with me and admitted that maybe she was becoming too attached to her boyfriend.

This was very difficult to take in and led to a great deal of soul searching and if I'm honest, sadness by both of us. Indeed it was probably the only really rough patch we have had so far in our marriage. After many (and I mean many) long discussions we decided that perhaps we should put on hold the long-term cuckold lifestyle.