All Comments on 'My Drunk Girlfriend'

So what does your wife think of your girlfriend? Or was your girlfriend's husband filling her up for you? In other words I'm missing the loving wives connection.

This story is missing more than just that.

Brutalising a drunk woman is not erotic. Nor is writing about it.

Thr daily new baboon..........

This story has multiple problems for a couple.

First bringing home a thug to home.

Secondly he was rough and could have hurt both of them.

Third let him have bareback.

Fourth ejaculated inside of girlfriend, while boyfriend held her in place.

To many diseases , this couple needs to find the love of there life and go separate ways.

Now

This is written to make the reader the girlfriend "I saw you put on you stockings", it's a really awkward way of writing and so I didn't bother reading after the first few lines

She was his girlfriend? She seemed more his whore for him to degrade and use...And she is just a girlfriend, when time comes, he will dump her and marry another...He even let her fuck bareback with any strange man...The sad part is how she didn't understand how she is being used as a cheap whore...1*

...just doesn't work! Knock that shit off! And gangbanging a drunk woman isn't erotic, it is RAPE!

Excellent first effort. You did a great job with the rough sex element, making it erotic and believable. I would really like to read a longer piece by you. Please keep writing and posting for us...

Just awful writing. "You pushed yourself up into all fours," is just one example. Really? "Into all fours?" What a contortionist! It isn't that long. Even a cursory proof reading would have shown all the errors. Hell, the first freaking sentence has a word left out. The characters are disgusting and the writing is awful. Get better or quit.

The relationship is unclear. The reason for "playthings" is never explored. But also didn't care for the brutal near rape he took part in with his "friend".

how many months before he could even kiss her except thru plastic wrap to wait for her final testing to come back negative? And how much would the two of them have to hate each other in reality to do this?

Two down, one to go. All we need is vastiesmith to make a comment and we'll have all three of the same person here. Does this site know you have two usernames, bonnie?

Didn't bother reading the story. Comments said it all.

Awful low score. Not too many must like this tale from this new contributor. Of course it's a dud, bonnietaylor2 gave it a five. That explains the low score. Her comments are like a barometer. High scores means it's usually a trashy story. The other comments pretty much confirmed that. Will pass on this one.

She's his girlfriend. Even the title says it. Post this garbage in Erotic Couplings. Or Non/con. Then write a decent story in which some poor woman isn't abused and used by a stranger while her boyfriend does nothing to help her and then joins in on the abuse. Terrible story. Nothing sexy, erotic or entertaining about this mess. 1 star.

I'm giving you Four Stars. It isn't a bad read. Could use a bit of an edit, but many can. Can't say I would react the same way if I walked in and found my woman fucking some guy, unless, of course, that was our kink.

Anyway, good job.

You can write about anything you like and I don't mind reading it. It may not be my cup of tea, however if the writing is good then I'll score as required. In this case you get 1*, Not for content, but for how that content was presented. Get it through your head. YOU DON'T WRITE THESE STORIES IN SECOND PERSON. It is offensive to the reader. You, the author are too stupid to realise that your readership isn't all stupid drunk girls wishing to be raped while under the influence. That is what you're trying to make out here son.

If you want to improve, I suggest you take some very very basic lessons in writing

I never understood a story where the author writes "Then you did this.." Or "you did that". You see, why would you be telling that person anything? They were there. Tell US, the readers. Narrate this to us.

are the people who write them. They will always get a low score.

And the mods have said Girlfriends and Fiances are good too. You're the idiot that doesn't know that. Go read the forum!

I posted this as I was interested in peoples opinions on the story and my writing skills (or lack of). I have to say there have been some helpful comments in among the more aggressively toned ones.

Regarding the scene.

Rape has surprised me by being a strong erotic fantasy of three previous girlfriends. I wanted to include it in a story where there is a safety net. I mentioned my fist was clenched when I came across the scene and it only relaxed when I realised she was invested in the proceedings. The ejaculation is part of the fantasy too and because this is a story I expected people to assume the man to healthy in all respects apart from his morality and his morality has to be questionable in order to play to the scene. The whole scene was ultimately consensual and a safe exploration of fantasy rape and abuse though I admit perhaps I didn't flesh out the backstory well enough to support that.

Regarding the writing there are some proof read errors which should have been picked up on and I absolutely agree that I should have written it third person. A beginners error. I would like to know when posting a story whether it should be stated if the story is fiction or an account of an actual event? A few comments lead me to think that this story was read as being factual.

The generally frosty reception won't put me off submitting here again. There is room for everyone I think and I can see that this community has a lot to offer. Like any online forum some people are more constructive with their critique than others and I thank those people for their input. A couple of humorous comments in there put a smile on my face too.

So thank you. Looking forward to reading more of your stories.

I would be interested to know which of your three girlfriends had actually been raped and enjoyed the experience. In any case, your story was not about rape but about a drunken young woman being savaged by a brutish lout. This is attractive only to the insensitive.

Your woman, where in the hell did you get she was your woman? You had your little hand made into fists, the only thing this cuck was going to do was jack his little dick. If you have any normal male friends ask them what they would have done in your place, perhaps your fantasy was for the big bad man to rape you both, just saying.

Without developing personalities.

Who would want to be with any man or woman who would cheat like that . Fantasy talk maybe be doing it while in a relationship is nuts . It shows zero respect for each other

Again we have in the 'livings wives' category petulant tantrums at someone's creative efforts.

the author is not responsible for the fact you are treating an erotic story site as some kind of therapy for your failed relationships. the author is providing erotic FICTION, in which erotic scenarios are played out that may not be erotic in real life.

For example, cuckoldry as a fantasy is mainly held by guys who have have faithful wives and so they feel safe to explore the fantasy in literature.

Anonymous comments in loving wives seem to be tantrums against infidelity because they have been hurt and rather than getting on with their lives they would prefer to sit, cock in hand, and vent the injustice of life on creative authors on this site.

This author simply wrote an erotic encounter, morality was not part of the tale, and has been added in by angry readers wanting what the story simply does not intend to provide.

similarly, the author has not said his previous girlfriends enjoyed rape, but did enjoy the fantasy if being raped, which is very common. It no more means that women like being raped in real life than his story is a moral judgement around fidelity.

both are erotic fantasies which the author has every right to share on an erotic story site. What is wrong is the loving wives readership who prefer the dysfunctional approach of cumming in their pants as they vent their personal pain of infidelity on stories that are not even about that.

A story should be judged on its own merits, including its own parameters and not be attacked because of the personal prejudices of its moronic readership.

Consider too, that to enjoy writing such a cuckold fantasy, the author will be secure in his relationship in real life, hence the freedom to enjoy the fantasy safely. Ironic in the fact that those who attack such authors and there work are inclined to do so because they have failed to keep a woman satisfied.

But I guess until there is a refuge for rejected cuckolded losers with anger issues, the authors brave enought o post in loving wives will have to suffer the ignorant, biased, ill informed tirades of the tantrum brigade. perhaps take comfort in the fact that they cannot help this and seem to need it as a coping mechanism?

Why don't you write a book while you're at it. Like somebody actually gives a fuck about your tirades. You're just as bad as those that bash this story. At least they have a reason. Sounds like you're the one that has the problem. Get help. 1* for trash, at least I recognize it when I see it. Do you?

You say "5 for the best and yes I [know] the best when I see it...."

How about putting some of those 5-star winners on your "Favorites" page?

I'm generally surprised about how many fellow members with strong opinions never bother to favorite a single Literotica story....

Ah, your foul mouth is at it again. She can't favorite a story, since she doesn't read any of them, just makes stupid comments. Ever have her critic a story? The only thing that bitch knows is to bitch about anonymous.

"My Drunk Girlfriend"-How does a story with a title like that fit into Loving Wives? It isn't enough that this category is filled with fetish and interracial, now we add erotic coupling to the list? Why even bother having categories? Put everything in LW.

BTW-gave it a one to offset dear bonnie's score.

Poorly conceived. Poorly written. Poorly received. As it should be.

....of two narcissistic sluts living together....

"She was mine"? I don't think so, Pendrake. I think she was the village bicycle and was anyone's that wanted her. He was a living situation, a base of operation in a theater of war called self debasement and debauchery.

Entertainment? NO! It was sad and depressing in a juvenile, self-involved way.

Well written? Well the technicals were good, but the story SUCKED.

I can't say any more without getting vapid....and prefer to end it here, with a plea that you (really PLEASE) stop writing this over-hashed drivel. Too many of you cucky-loving Brits running amok here, but always, ALWAYS with the same 5 crappy storylines. Originality trumps silver and gold in this forum.

This was boring.

How surprising, another stupid story of a guy giving away his girlfriend or wife. What real man would do this or tolerate it? This site must be chocked full of wimpy cuckolds.

Pathetic cuck story

If it doesn't fit your taste, don't read cuckold stories - nobody forcing prudes and egoistic males to read them. Why do you need to read and comment? Let those who enjoy cuckold theme read and comment.

I was hoping for something new and original. This WASN'T IT. Next the boyfriend will be wanting her to bring home several guys so she can get gangbanged...Oh wait, she has to get married first, and that happens at the reception. Or maybe it happens at their kids birthday party out near the pool. The only thing original about this , is that they aren't married, so he can actually gather up his shit and WALK AWAY.

Pretty hot. Looking forward to more stories.