All Comments on 'My New Favourite Neighbour Pt. 01'

visually and descriptively fun.

I look forward to the both of you losing more and more of your inhibitions.

Have fun.

I liked the concept, of two people, each knowing the other is watching, but maintaining their distance and anonymity from each other whilst playing their game.

I found some bits in the introduction a little strange -- eg: a man living alone in a flat needing to wrap a towel around himself to go to the shower recess.

But then came the second-person 'conversation' with me as reader, where I am expected to imagine myself as the young lady on the other balcony. Having accumulated a few years, and whilst still a lady no longer a young one, it doesn't really work for me. I suspect most of your readership is neither young nor a lady, so putting themselves in the 'you' of your story will be quite a stretch.

Second-person writing works well for cooking recipes and maintenance manuals, but not so well for short stories like this one. It would have worked better told first person.

Apart from that, I thought the story was well constructed and well written, and quite readable. I like stories with steps played out between man and woman, each playing their part of the game. (Seduction stories are the best, but exhibitionism comes close.)

Lue