by NaturalBeauty
you kept jumping back and forth between john and nick. "Then John stuck his tongue in my pussy and I moaned loudly and arched my back." but then before that you said "Nick just stood there in total awe of me and then I walked over to him and pulled his shirt out of his pants and pulled it over his head." keep it the same through out the whole thing. maybe john in dialogue and nick in the other stuff. until he tells her to call him nick of course. other wise good story! i'm going to see BSB in concert soon so i will have this in my mind ;)
For all the women out there that love bsb enought to write about them in this way, the boys have not been given any justice I have found as of yet. I think disappointing is an understatement both on the detail of this story and it's uncharacteristically abrupt ending. Please don't be discouraged though, try some wrtitng exercises to find the words you need to describe your thoughts, and keep trying.
The story started out okay, however there wasn't a whole lot of detail. Also, Nick's eyes are blue, just for future reference.
And, just ending like that? Whoa that was an unexpected and kind of unpleasant tease!